Friday funny! Work related.. - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old 01-17-2003, 01:20 PM Thread Starter
BEER!
 
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Lindenhurst, IL
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Friday funny! Work related..

NEW WORDS FOR 2003 Essential additions for the workplace
vocabulary:

BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why
a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of
noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success
and
advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming
upstream only
to get screwed and die in the end.

CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a
cube
farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going
on.

MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch
potato.

SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What
yuppies
turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to
stay
home with the kids.

STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out
and whiney.

SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered
useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's
workplace.

IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying
but you
find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a
prime
example.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap
out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just
above the
rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often
profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were
designed
to solve.

404: Someone who's clueless. (From the World Wide Web error
message "404
Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be
located.)

GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are exactly the
same no
matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls,
subdivisions.

OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize
that
you've just made a BIG mistake.

WOOFYS: Well Off Older Folks.

CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously passing wind while walking thru a
cube farm,
then enjoying the sounds of dismay and disgust; leads to PRAIRIE
DOGGING.

NESBA/CCS #142
AIM: GroverSV650S
Dirtbikes are not submarines
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post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old 01-17-2003, 01:30 PM
Evil Moderatrix
 
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Think corn and pigs. Lots and lots of corn and pigs.
Posts: 8,030
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Kim
CCS AM #815 - the cute, fuzzy, yellow, spoiled-rotten half of Team Duc Tape!
I break stuff
Duck, duck, duck, GUZ!
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post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old 01-17-2003, 01:33 PM
Owwwwie!
 
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Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Chicago (Wicker Park)
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Location: Chicago (Wicker Park)
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That's awesome ...

Just what I needed today!

-Chris

"Did I do that?"

AIM: Stydie
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post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old 01-17-2003, 10:13 PM
Who's faster Lupi
 
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Location: Lake in the Hills, IL
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Location: Lake in the Hills, IL
Sportbike: 2004 ZX10R & 2005 CRF50
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sweet I'll be sure to circulate that around the office

NESBA #456 Intermediate
Always 1 step ahead of Lupi. 1:24:7 BHF
And 1 step behind Kimmy

"SoB gets to spend yet ANOTHER season faster than me." -LUPI-
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post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old 01-17-2003, 10:59 PM
freaking newbies, man there slow, ha ha ha
 
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Location: Keokuk, Iowa
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Most of those apply at my workplace.

I love the Seagull Manager. That's the guy from corporate that has no fucking clue... fucks up your project budgets, is able to blame everyone but himself, and will soon be a VP of operations.... most likely at your plant.
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post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old 01-17-2003, 11:57 PM
Please attend carefully..
 
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Chicago (NW side) 60707
Posts: 2,625
Location: Chicago (NW side) 60707
Sportbike: 2000 ZX6R (the green one!)
Years Riding: 2000
How you found us: I've been here a while...
           
I guess I'm a STRESS PUPPY with his own SWIPEOUT who enjoys PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE.

It helps me deal with all the HONKERS at work.

"Stupidity is also a gift of God, but one mustn't misuse it." - JP2

"Life is just a place where we spend time between games" - former Philadelphia Flyers coach Fred Shero

"everyone's a nutjob, some just have more restraint than others" - EndlessRR
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post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old 01-18-2003, 09:28 AM
Your friendly Crazy Canuk
 
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Barrington, Illinois
Posts: 12,731
Location: Barrington, Illinois
Sportbike: Ducati ST3 2005 Gloss Black, Monster 620, 2007 Sport Classic 1000
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How you found us: Thru favorednation (ron)
           
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Re: Friday funny! Work related..

Quote:
Originally posted by GroverSV650S
NEW WORDS FOR 2003 Essential additions for the workplace
vocabulary:


404: Someone who's clueless. (From the World Wide Web error
message "404
Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be
located.)


WOOFYS: Well Off Older Folks.

Goddamn These two describe me to a "T"

Rick

Sometimes goodbye is your second chance.
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post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old 01-18-2003, 02:00 PM
Licensed Speed Demon
 
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Schaumburg
Posts: 257
Location: Schaumburg
Sportbike: 02 R1 (Gone now :( ), 04 Blue and Silver Busa
Years Riding: Since before i could pedal a bike.
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Too funny. Thanks

If you knew you could not fail, what would you attempt?

The difference between first and second place is DESIRE.

The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
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