How THEY have SEX.... (are you in here?) - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 17 (permalink) Old 07-19-2006, 04:44 PM Thread Starter
Slow Old Guy.
 
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How THEY have SEX.... (are you in here?)

HOW THEY HAVE SEX

ACCOUNTANTS are good with figures.

ACTORS do it on cue.

ADVERTISERS use the "new, improved" method.

AMBULANCE DRIVERS come quicker.

ANSI does it in the standard way

ARCHEOLOGISTS like it old.

ARCHITECTS have great plans.

ARTISTS are exhibitionists.

ASSEMBLY LINE WORKERS do it over and over.

ASTRONOMERS do it with Uranus.

ATTORNEYS make better motions.

AUDITORS like to examine figures.

BABYSITTERS charge by the hour.

BAILIFFS always come to order.

BAKERS knead it daily.

BAND MEMBERS play all night.

BANKERS do it with interest - penalty for early withdrawal.

BARBERS do it with shear pleasure.

BARTENDERS do it on the rocks.

BASEBALL PLAYERS make it to first base.

BASKETBALL PLAYERS score more often.

BEEKEEPERS like to eat their honey.

BEER BREWERS do it with more hops.

BEER DRINKERS get more head.

BICYCLISTS do it with 10 speeds.

BOOKKEEPERS do it with double entry.

BOSSES delegate the task to others.

BOWLERS have bigger balls.

BRICKLAYERS lay all day.

BRIDGE PLAYERS try to get a rubber.

BUS DRIVERS come early and pull out on time.

BUTCHERS have better meat.

C'Bers do it on the air.

CAMPERS do it in a tent.

CARPENTERS hammer it harder.

CARPET LAYERS do it on the floor.

CHEERLEADERS do it with more enthusiasm.

CHEMISTS like to experiment.

CHESS PLAYERS check their mates.

CHIROPRACTORS do it by manipulation.

CLOCK MAKERS do it mechanically.

CLOWNS do it for laughs.

COACHES whistle while they work.

COBOL PROGRAMMERS do it with bugs.

COCKTAIL WAITRESSES serve highballs.

COMPUTER GAME PLAYERS just can't stop.

COMPUTER OPERATORS get the most out of their software.

CONSTRUCTION WORKERS lay a better foundation.

CONSULTANTS tell other how to do it.

COPS have bigger guns.

COWBOYS handle anything horny.

COWGIRLS like to ride bareback.

CRANE OPERATORS have swinging balls.

CREDIT MANAGERS always collect.

DANCERS do it in leaps and bounds.

DEADHEADS do it with Jerry.

DEER HUNTERS will do anything for a buck.

DENTAL HYGIENISTS do it till it hurts.

DENTISTS do it in your mouth.

DETECTIVES do it under cover.

DIETICIANS eat better.

DIRECT MAILERS get it in the sack.

DIVERS do it deeper.

DOCTORS do it with patience.

DRUGGISTS fill your prescription.

DRUMMERS do it in 4/4 time.

DRY WALLER'S are better bangers.

ELECTRICIANS check your shorts.

ENGINEERS charge by the hour.

EXECUTIVES have large staffs.

FARMERS spread it around.

FIREMEN are always in heat.

FISHERMEN are proud of their rods.

FOOTBALL PLAYERS are measured by the yard.

FOUR-WHEELERS eat more bush.

FURRIERS appreciate good beaver.

GARBAGE MEN come once a week.

GARDENERS have 50 foot hoses.

GAS STATION ATTENDANTS pump all day.

GEOLOGISTS are great explorers.

GOLFERS do it in 18 holes.

GYMNASTS mount and dismount well.

HACKERS do it with fewer instructions.

HAIRDRESSERS give the best blow jobs.

HAM OPERATORS do it with frequency.

HANDYMEN like good screws.

HEWLETT PACKARD does it with precision.

HORSEBACK RIDERS stay in the saddle longer.

HUNTERS do it with a bang.

INSURANCE SALESMEN are premium lovers.

INTERIOR DECORATORS do it all over the house.

INVENTORS find a way.

JANITORS clean up afterwards.

JEWELERS mount real gems.

JOGGERS do it on the run.

LANDSCAPERS plant it deeper.

LAWYERS do it in their briefs.

LIBRARIANS do it quietly.

LOCKSMITHS can get into anything.

LONG DISTANCE RUNNERS last longer.

MACHINISTS make the best screws.

MAGICIANS are quicker than the eye.

MAINTENANCE MEN sweep 'em off their feet.

MANAGERS supervise others.

MARKETING REPs do it on commission.

MILKMEN deliver twice a week.

MILLIONAIRES pay to have it done.

MINERS sink deeper shafts.

MINISTERS do it on Sundays.

MISSILE MEN have better thrust.

MODELS do it in any position.

MODEM MANUFACTURERS do it with all sorts of characters.

MOTORCYCLISTS like something hot between their legs.

MOVIE STARS do it on film.

MUSICIANS do it with rhythm.

NONSMOKERS do it without huffing and puffing.

NURSES call the shots.

OCEANOGRAPHERS do it down under.

OPERATORS do it person-to-person.

OPTOMETRISTS do it face-to-face.

PAINTERS do it with longer strokes.

PARAMEDICS PHOTOGRAPHERS do it with a flash.

PHYSICISTS do it with uniform harmonic motion.

PILOTS keep it up longer.

PLUMBERS do it under the sink.

POLICEMEN like big busts.

POLITICIANS do it for 4 years then have to get re-erected.

POSTMEN come slower.

PRINTERS do it without wrinkling the sheets.

PRINTERS reproduce the fastest.

PROCTOLOGISTS do it in the end.

PROFESSORS do it by the book.

RACERS like to come in first.

RACQUETBALL PLAYERS do it off the wall..

RADIO and TV ANNOUNCERS broadcast it.

REAL ESTATE PEOPLE know all the prime spots.

RECYCLERS use it again.

REPAIRMEN can fix anything.

REPORTERS do it daily.

RESEARCHERS are still looking for it.

RETAILERS move their merchandise.

ROOFERS do it on top.

RUNNERS get into more pants.

SAILORS like to be blown.

SALESPEOPLE have away with their tongues.

SCIENTISTS discovered it.

SECRETARIES do it from 9 to 5.

SKYDIVERS are good till the last drop.

SOCCER PLAYERS have leather balls.

SPEECH PATHOLOGISTS are oral specialists.

SPELUNKERS do it underground.

SPORTSCASTERS like an instant replay.

STEWARDESSES do it in the air.

STUDENTS use their heads.

SURGEONS are smooth operators.

TAILORS make it fit.

TAXI DRIVERS do it all over town.

TAXIDERMISTS mount anything.

TELEPHONE CO. EMPLOYEES let their fingers do the walking.

TELLERS can handle all deposits and withdrawals.

TENNIS PLAYERS have fuzzy balls.

TRUCK DRIVERS have bigger dipsticks.

TRUCKERS carry bigger loads.

TYPISTS do it in triplicate.

VETERINARIANS are pussy lovers.

VOLLEYBALL PLAYERS keep it up.

WAITRESSES serve it piping hot.

WATER SKIERS come down harder.

WELDERS have hotter rods.

WRESTLERS know the best holds.

WRITERS have novel ways.

ZOOLOGISTS do it with animal instinct.

===========
Great Quote - One would think that the Secret Service was smart enough to get serviced secretly.

MotoVid hasbeen
NESBA hasbeen

CCS neverbeen
WERA neverbeen
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post #2 of 17 (permalink) Old 07-19-2006, 04:45 PM
Cruiser convert
 
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Holy long post Batman.
Nike....Just do it.

Jeff

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hunny
Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ronhix
You pissed on my plastics!?!?!?
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post #3 of 17 (permalink) Old 07-19-2006, 04:46 PM
Enjoying Life!!
 
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Ok to long..not long enough attention span to read


I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later!!
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post #4 of 17 (permalink) Old 07-19-2006, 04:47 PM Thread Starter
Slow Old Guy.
 
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Years Riding: Since the beginning of time
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Scroll to your job title man!

===========
Great Quote - One would think that the Secret Service was smart enough to get serviced secretly.

MotoVid hasbeen
NESBA hasbeen

CCS neverbeen
WERA neverbeen
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post #5 of 17 (permalink) Old 07-19-2006, 04:49 PM
Enjoying Life!!
 
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Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Cruising Around Enjoying Life!!
Posts: 17,774
Location: Cruising Around Enjoying Life!!
Sportbike: 09 Night Rod Black Denim
Years Riding: Not Long Enuff!!!!
How you found us: Friends
           
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wink
HOW THEY HAVE SEX
MACHINISTS make the best screws..



I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later!!
CHeYeNNe is offline  
post #6 of 17 (permalink) Old 07-19-2006, 04:49 PM
Enjoying Life!!
 
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Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Cruising Around Enjoying Life!!
Posts: 17,774
Location: Cruising Around Enjoying Life!!
Sportbike: 09 Night Rod Black Denim
Years Riding: Not Long Enuff!!!!
How you found us: Friends
           
Damn now I'm dizzy


I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later!!
CHeYeNNe is offline  
post #7 of 17 (permalink) Old 07-19-2006, 05:00 PM
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Sportbike: 97 TL1000s,CBR F2 (track) 99 SV (track), 2k3 CRF Fiddy
Years Riding: not nearly long enough
How you found us: Veddersbetter I think...
           
RACERS like to come in first.
MOTORCYCLISTS like something hot between their legs.

NESBA #469

"It's better to be on the track for just one lap than to be a spectator for life."
1997 TL1000S
1991 CBR F2 X2
1999 SV650
2k3 CRF 50 (modded to bling extreme)
?? Chinese Knock off 50
I need a bigger garage!!
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post #8 of 17 (permalink) Old 07-19-2006, 05:22 PM
CLSB's Florida Chapter.
 
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mine isn't in there

-Mopar

1997 Dodge Viper GTS
2013 Dodge Dart Rallye
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post #9 of 17 (permalink) Old 07-19-2006, 05:26 PM
Bug
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SALESPEOPLE have away with their tongues.

Everyone knows this - Just ask the YWB sunning at the Chase Plaza in the loop

"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming WOW, what a RIDE !!"
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post #10 of 17 (permalink) Old 07-19-2006, 05:27 PM
The Victim Newbie
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MoparBoyy
mine isn't in there
mechanics, masters of there own tool?

<-- Chris

turn the bars left and go right; that just isn't right
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post #11 of 17 (permalink) Old 07-19-2006, 05:31 PM
Cruiser convert
 
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BABYSITTERS charge by the hour.
sounds like a porno. LOL

Jeff

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hunny
Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ronhix
You pissed on my plastics!?!?!?
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post #12 of 17 (permalink) Old 07-22-2006, 10:24 PM
pfft.
 
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GOVERNMENT WORKERS sit there and do nothing.
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post #13 of 17 (permalink) Old 07-23-2006, 07:26 AM
Your friendly Crazy Canuk
 
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Quote:
ARCHITECTS have great plans.

Sometimes goodbye is your second chance.
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post #14 of 17 (permalink) Old 07-23-2006, 07:27 AM
Your friendly Crazy Canuk
 
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Barrington, Illinois
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ill_ag
GOVERNMENT WORKERS sit there and do nothing.
You don't strike me as that type, I figured you as a screamer

Sometimes goodbye is your second chance.
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post #15 of 17 (permalink) Old 07-23-2006, 08:48 AM
YO MAMA
 
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PAINTERS do it with longer strokes.



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post #16 of 17 (permalink) Old 07-23-2006, 09:04 AM
pfft.
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RickC1957
You don't strike me as that type, I figured you as a screamer
Nope-- I can't scream with stuff in my mouth, now can I??

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post #17 of 17 (permalink) Old 07-23-2006, 10:04 AM
Hot-Wire Her With A Pin
 
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Mines not there.

Teachers do it with class.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bug View Post
I will sock ya square in your snot locker if you EVER use the term "Bron Bron" in my presence - BAHLEEDAT
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