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post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 08-02-2006, 03:23 PM Thread Starter
Thee original azzhole!
 
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the purina diet

Purina Diet

I have a American Akita & I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out.



A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.



I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.



I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.


...plus my gf was with me saying "omg slow down, slow down" and I was thinking "Lose annoying squalk box in passenger seat, afford more mods and have less weight in the car and on the back of the bike"...so i dumped her and I'm single again as usual...HERE KITTY KITTY!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arch View Post
pussy is the root of all evil...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hunny View Post
mmmm pussy
You dont like me....i dont give a fuck...cause i'll still put ya in the hospital...me tollerating you is all that matters...

Last edited by Thunderstruck; 08-02-2006 at 03:27 PM.
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post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 08-02-2006, 03:25 PM
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OMG, I should not have been reading this while on a conference call

That was great

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post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 08-02-2006, 03:29 PM
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P.S. Post yo' jokes in the right forum, foo'! Moved.
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post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 08-02-2006, 03:30 PM Thread Starter
Thee original azzhole!
 
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ah crap...i never really put a joke up here before...tanks...

...plus my gf was with me saying "omg slow down, slow down" and I was thinking "Lose annoying squalk box in passenger seat, afford more mods and have less weight in the car and on the back of the bike"...so i dumped her and I'm single again as usual...HERE KITTY KITTY!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arch View Post
pussy is the root of all evil...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hunny View Post
mmmm pussy
You dont like me....i dont give a fuck...cause i'll still put ya in the hospital...me tollerating you is all that matters...
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post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 08-02-2006, 03:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by G2G
No one says you have to get drunk everytime you drink.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Snoodles
Isn't that like having sex and not finishing though?
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post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 08-02-2006, 03:42 PM
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post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 08-02-2006, 07:03 PM
Ooooooooohhh!!!!
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Arch
OMG, I should not have been reading this while on a conference call

That was great
+1 ! I was in a very boring meeting surfing this site at the back of the room!
I laughed out loud so hard that i was nearly crying!!

Great one!!

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Quote:
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Lol I am no pimp. I am married and have no game.
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