What the Wife (Girlfriend) Says.... And Means... - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-18-2006, 11:55 AM Thread Starter
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What the Wife (Girlfriend) Says.... And Means...

(Feel free to replace the word WIFE with GIRLFRIEND throughout)


The wife says: You want
The wife means: You want

The wife says: We need
The wife means: I want

The wife says: It's your decision
The wife means: The correct decision should be obvious

The wife says: Do what you want
The wife means: You'll pay for this later

The wife says: We need to talk
The wife means: I need to complain

The wife says: Sure... go ahead
The wife means: I don't want you to

The wife says: I'm not upset
The wife means: Of course I'm upset you moron

The wife says: You're ... so manly
The wife means: You need a shave and you sweat a lot

The wife says: Be romantic, turn out the lights
The wife means: I have flabby thighs.

The wife says: This kitchen is so inconvenient
The wife means: I want a new house.

The wife says: I want new curtains.
The wife means: Also carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper!

The wife says: I need wedding shoes.
The wife means: The other forty pairs are the wrong shade of white.

The wife says: Hang the picture there
The wife means: No, I mean hang it there!

The wife says: I heard a noise
The wife means: I noticed you were almost asleep.

The wife says: Do you love me?
The wife means: I'm going to ask for something expensive.

The wife says: How much do you love me?
The wife means: I did something today you're not going to like.

The wife says: I'll be ready in a minute.
The wife means: Kick off your shoes and take an hour nap.

The wife says: Am I fat?
The wife means: Tell me I'm beautiful.

The wife says: You have to learn to communicate.
The wife means: Just agree with me.

The wife says: Are you listening to me?
The wife means: [Too late, your doomed.]

The wife says: Yes
The wife means: No

The wife says: No
The wife means: No

The wife says: Maybe
The wife means: No

The wife says: I'm sorry
The wife means: You'll be sorry

The wife says: Do you like this recipe?
The wife means: You better get used to it

The wife says: All we're going to buy is a soap dish
The wife means: I'm coming back with enough to fill this place.

The wife says: Was that the baby?
The wife means: Get out of bed and walk him

The wife says: I'm not yelling!
The wife means: Yes I am! I think this is important!

In answer to the question "What's wrong?"

The wife says: The same old thing.
The wife means: Nothing.

The wife says: Nothing.
The wife means: Everything.

The wife says: Nothing, really.
The wife means: It's just that you're an idiot.

The wife says: I don't want to talk about it.
The wife means: I'm still building up steam.

Please add your own Says/Means related to sex...

===========
Great Quote - One would think that the Secret Service was smart enough to get serviced secretly.

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post #2 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-18-2006, 12:00 PM
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You really have to be married for a few years to appreciate the grim reality of everything Wink has stated.

"When in doubt, use full throttle. It may not improve your situation, but it will end the suspense."
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post #3 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-18-2006, 12:03 PM
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post #4 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-18-2006, 12:08 PM
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Amen Wink.

Never a bad time to climb... unless the weather is really horrible, and then you climb inside!

I bleed GREEN
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post #5 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-18-2006, 12:10 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kegger
You really have to be married for a few years to appreciate the grim reality of everything Wink has stated.
We celebrated 25 year anniversary this past Tuesday....

===========
Great Quote - One would think that the Secret Service was smart enough to get serviced secretly.

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post #6 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-18-2006, 12:20 PM
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Men Say: "I don't care what color you paint the kitchen."
Men Mean: "As long as it's not blue, green, pink, red, yellow, lavender, gray, mauve, black, turquoise or any other color besides white."

Men Say: "It's a guy thing."
Men Mean: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

Men Say: "Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear."
Men Mean: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response like Pavlov's dog drooling.

Men Say: "Have you lost weight?"
Men Mean: "I've just spent our last $30 on a cordless drill."

Men Say: "It would take too long to explain."
Men Mean: "I have no idea how it works."

Men Say: "I'm getting more exercise lately."
Men Mean: "The batteries in the remote are dead."

Men Say: "Hey, I've read all the classics."
Men Mean: "I've been subscribing to Playboy since 1972."

Men Say: "Take a break, honey, you're working too hard."
Men Mean: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

Men Say: "Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love."
Men Mean: "I forgot our anniversary again."

Men Say: "You know how bad my memory is."
Men Mean: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

Men Say: "Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal."
Mean Mean: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt."

Men Say: "I missed you."
Men Mean: "I can't find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry and we are out of toilet paper."

Men Say: "I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are."
Men Mean: "No one will ever see us alive again."

Men Say: "We share the housework."
Men Mean: "I make the messes, she cleans them up."

Men Say: "I'll fix the garbage disposal later."
Mean Mean: "If I wait long enough you'll get frustrated and buy a new one."

Men Say: "I broke up with her."
Men Mean: "She dumped me."


KJ
_____________________________________________
The CLSB Bitch Wrecking Crew

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post #7 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-18-2006, 12:32 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gixx
Men Say: "I don't care what color you paint the kitchen."
Men Mean: "As long as it's not blue, green, pink, red, yellow, lavender, gray, mauve, black, turquoise or any other color besides white."

Men Say: "I'm getting more exercise lately."
Men Mean: "The batteries in the remote are dead."

Men Say: "I missed you."
Men Mean: "I can't find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry and we are out of toilet paper."
Modifications....

Men Say: "I don't care what color you paint the kitchen."
Men Mean: "As long as you are the one painting the kitchen"

Men Say: "I'm getting more exercise lately."
Men Mean: "Hint hint: Perhaps you need to work out, honey."

Men Say: "I missed you."
Men Mean: "Time for sex"

===========
Great Quote - One would think that the Secret Service was smart enough to get serviced secretly.

MotoVid hasbeen
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post #8 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-18-2006, 12:35 PM
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Modification:

Men Say: "Have you lost weight?"
Men Think: "This is gonna score me some points."
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post #9 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-18-2006, 12:37 PM
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@ Gixx Those are hilarious.

Never a bad time to climb... unless the weather is really horrible, and then you climb inside!

I bleed GREEN
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post #10 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-18-2006, 01:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wink
Modifications....

Men Say: "I don't care what color you paint the kitchen."
Men Mean: "As long as you are the one painting the kitchen"

Men Say: "I'm getting more exercise lately."
Men Mean: "Hint hint: Perhaps you need to work out, honey."

Men Say: "I missed you."
Men Mean: "Time for sex"
GREAT!!

Even heroes know when to be scared.
..As I shifted into 6th, I forgot every f'in thing she said..
Im a fuel injected suicide machine!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Criminalgrrl View Post
I'd let him pee in my butt
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post #11 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-18-2006, 01:11 PM
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Those are awesome Gixx.

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post #12 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-18-2006, 03:15 PM
 
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Men Say: I'm home.
Men Mean: Get dinner on the table.

Men Say: I don't care.
Men Mean: I don't care as long as I don't have to do anything.

Men Say: I still love you.
Men Mean: A divorce would be too damn expensive.

Men Say: I'll be back at 10.
Men Mean: I'll be back whenever I get bored.

Men Say: You are much prettier than her.
Men Mean: You lack self-esteem but I'd like a blow job tonight.
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post #13 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-21-2006, 08:00 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wink
(Feel free to replace the word WIFE with GIRLFRIEND throughout)



The wife says: Do you love me?
The wife means: I'm going to ask for something expensive.

The wife says: How much do you love me?
The wife means: I did something today you're not going to like.



Please add your own Says/Means related to sex...

Holy crap, that's my wife

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy"- Benjamin Franklin

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vcook View Post
hahahaha, nice try. Everyone knows men age like wine and women age like milk. It's a scientific fact!!
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post #14 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-22-2006, 08:08 AM
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I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later!!
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post #15 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-22-2006, 08:57 AM
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Good ones
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post #16 of 18 (permalink) Old 09-01-2006, 08:01 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jimbo
Holy crap, that's my wife
Holy crap thats ALL wives!

Darrell
NESBA#280

"There are only three sports: mountain climbing, bull
fighting, and motor racing. All the rest are merely
games."
Ernest Hemingway
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post #17 of 18 (permalink) Old 09-01-2006, 09:42 AM
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Men say: Git me a goddamn sammich!
Men Mean:Git me a goddamn sammich!

Women reply: Ok master.


"When in doubt, use full throttle. It may not improve your situation, but it will end the suspense."
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post #18 of 18 (permalink) Old 09-01-2006, 09:51 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by flinchy

Men Say: You are much prettier than her.
Men Mean: You lack self-esteem but I'd like a blow job tonight.
rofl

<-- Chris

turn the bars left and go right; that just isn't right
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