Illinois Themed Barbie - Chicagoland Sportbikes
Chicagoland Sportbikes
 
The Funny Papers got some funny stuff? Make us laugh.

 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 08-30-2006, 11:03 AM Thread Starter
OBAMA FTW!!!!1!
 
.:K2:.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Hoffman Estates IL
Posts: 3,648
Location: Hoffman Estates IL
Sportbike: Bike less, link to pictures of crashed bike in signature
Years Riding: Riding 3.5 years
How you found us: Hunny's Mom!
           
Send a message via AIM to .:K2:.
Talking Illinois Themed Barbie

Mattel has introduced Barbie dolls for different regions and towns in
Illinois. Be sure to show your Illinois pride and collect them all!!



Alsip Barbie
This version has it all; tattoo of a snake on her upper thigh, every
eye shadow shade Maybelline has ever made, a can of AquaNet, and two
sets of keys for her double-wide. Optional accessories: Sidewalks and
a pick up. Bumper sticker that says "My kid can beat up your honors
student" sold separately.


Alton/Peoria Barbie
This model comes in Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt,
big hair, a six pack of Coors Light, and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set.
She can spit over 5 feet and can kick Ken's ass when she's drunk.
A pickup is available with Confederate flag bumper stickers.


Berwyn Barbie
Big sprayed black hair with overdone makeup and housecoat, cooks up a
batch of mean meatballs and lasagna. Comes with plastic covered sofas
and a fridge in the basement for company.


Beverly Barbie
This talking Barbie says: "Did you know I am Irish? Irish rules!" and
sings the South Side Irish song. Comes with a bottle of lite beer and U
of I t-shirt. Also includes an assortment of "KissMe, I'm Irish"
buttons and green accessories for the South Side parade. Boyfriend Ken
wearing a Notre Dame hat, sister Skipper wearing McAuley uniform, and
cousin Joe in his Crusaders sweatshirt sold separately.


Bridgeport Barbie
This Barbie also talks and all of her sentences include an assortment
of "d's" and "doe's." She owns her own bungalow and comes with season
tickets to the White Sox.


Chicago Ridge Barbie
Comes complete with a uniform from Our Lady of the Ridge and four
monogrammed bowling shirts. Talking version brags of having the best
handicap on the south side and of being able to drink Ken under the
table. Accessories include a mitt for 16-inch league games, six-pack
of Pabst Blue Ribbon, a pack of Marlboro Lights, and an IROC Camaro
with T-tops on crates in the front yard.


Cicero Barbie
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9 mm handgun, a Ray Lewis
knife, a low-rider Chevrolet with oversized wheels and tinted windows
and, my favorite, Meth Lab Ken. Talking version also speaks Spanish
and includes two sons: Cesar, star of his high school soccer team; and
Jose, wanted in four states.


Highland Park Barbie
This trendy homemaker Barbie is available with the Lexus or BMW SUV or
a suped up Hummer H2, gets lost easily, and has no full-time occupation
or secondary education. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.
Optional: matching gym outfit.


Humboldt Park Barbie
This bee-tch of a Barbie comes with a knife to stab other Barbies in
the back, miniskirt and tons of makeup.


Lake Forest/Kenilworth/North Shore Barbie
This True Blonde shops exclusively in town. She drives a Land Rover
(sold separately). She has an MBA from Northwestern but has never worked
outside the home. Her child's stroller is bigger than your house and
her tennis trophies are discreetly hidden behind CEO Ken's golf trophies.
She knows enough Spanish to talk with the nanny, Tagalog to speak to the
cook, and Polish for the house painter and housekeeper respectively.
Her family owns a winery in Napa, but she buys cases of "2-Buck Chuck" at
Trader Joe's. Hence the need for the rear-loading Land Rover.


Lincoln Park Barbie
This yuppie Barbie comes with knee-high black boots, a Louis Vuitton
handbag, choice of a BMW sports car or new Convertible Beetle,
Starbucks cup, credit card, a faux crocodile pill case filled with an
assortment of the latest therapist-prescribed mood elevators, and
shallow Ken. A list of all of the "in" fundraising events sold separately.


Northbrook Barbie
Her authentic Coach bag is always filled with plenty of cash from
daddy's bank. She and her friends from high school, including Hazelle,
come complete with animal intestines, paint cans, fecal matter, kegs of
beer and a video camera. Lawyer's fees are extra.


Oak Brook Barbie
Authentic Kate Spade wallet includes credit cards from Fields,
Nordstrom's and Sax, and a photo of the family dog, Rex. Comes with
monogrammed towel set for her mornings at the bath and tennis club, and
riding pony (with real hair) for her afternoons at the polo grounds.
Kitchen set provided by Crate and Barrel. Backyard runway for her
private jet sold separately.


Oak Lawn Barbie
This version has relocated from the city and comes with her very own
street sign to post in the back yard, and a basketball hoop to hang
from the garage roof. Doctor's fees to pay for counseling when E.J.
Korvette's, Shopper's World and Zayre's closed, are extra.


Orland Park Barbie
This is a grown-up version of Barbie with three kids, all of whom got
straight A's in school, 36's on the ACT, and college scholarships
because they were the best on the team. Includes blowhard husband Ken,
who is seen and heard at every little league game; daughter Midge, head
cheerleader; and son Ken, Jr., the captain of the football team. The
standard version comes with a Ford Windstar, a bi-level in Brook Hills
and an assortment of Coach and Kate Spade knockoffs bought at a house
party.The talking version says "Not MY kid. He wouldn't do that," and
"Really? My cleaning lady won't do laundry!" The deluxe version comes
with faux fur and a home in Crystal Tree that will never be paid off in
their life time.


South Side Barbie
Goes by the name of Barbeequa and for one low price, includes all of
her sistahs: Midgeequa, Jauneequa, Shaneequa, Taneequa,and Lulu; and
all of her brothers, Leroy, Willie (gold toof extra), Tyrone, George,
George, and George. They all live together in her two-room ghetto
apartment, furnished with the latest in leather and zebra prints.
Bling-bling sold separately.


Uptown Barbie
This Barbie actually comes in two variations. One has long gray hair,
arch-less feet, Berkenstocks, no makeup and a mutt. Or a boy haircut,
brown-highlighted hair, Abercrombie & Fitch T-shirt and cargos, combat
boots and a pitbull.


Willow Springs Barbie:
Has a complete wardrobe for her weekends of ballroom, two-step and line
dancing. Boyfriend Ken comes complete with a beautiful brown UPS
uniform (shorts are extra) and a bicycle to get to work (delivery truck
sold separately).


Wrigleyville Barbie
Cubs hat and tank top, bleacher tan, Kosher hot dog and overpriced Old
Style in hand. Optional accessories: a wooden porch that can
accommodate up to 24 of Barbie's best friends. Keg not included.
.:K2:. is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 08-30-2006, 11:11 AM
I Went All In
 
Kaos968's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: La Grange
Posts: 1,171
Location: La Grange
Sportbike: 2005 BMW K1200S
Years Riding: 10
How you found us: Search Engine
           
Send a message via AIM to Kaos968 Send a message via Yahoo to Kaos968
Ody,

Would u let Barbie kick ur ass?

Just checking, LOL

Quote:
Originally Posted by VCook
dude, you are the quintessential stoner.
Happy Little Trees - Bob Ross (1942 - 1995)

'05 BMW K1200S - Eris
'96 Suzuki RF 600R - She Gone!!!

XBox Live Gamertag - Kaos 968
Kaos968 is offline  
post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 08-30-2006, 11:21 AM
Registered User
 
Slowass's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Rockford, IL
Posts: 2,872
Location: Rockford, IL
Sportbike: 2006 R6 Raven
Years Riding: 7 years
How you found us: ChicagoIlivewithmymomriders.com
           
This is great!

Barbie's a whore. I had, like, 4 Barbies and only 1 Ken doll, so Ken made his way around all 4...until he caught herpes. Then I gave him to my dog to chew on. Then my Barbies became lesbians.

_____________________________________________
The CLSB Bitch Wrecking Crew

Book of my Fuh-Zayce

Gotta DANCE!
Slowass is offline  
post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 08-30-2006, 11:27 AM Thread Starter
OBAMA FTW!!!!1!
 
.:K2:.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Hoffman Estates IL
Posts: 3,648
Location: Hoffman Estates IL
Sportbike: Bike less, link to pictures of crashed bike in signature
Years Riding: Riding 3.5 years
How you found us: Hunny's Mom!
           
Send a message via AIM to .:K2:.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Slowass
This is great!

Barbie's a whore. I had, like, 4 Barbies and only 1 Ken doll, so Ken made his way around all 4...until he caught herpes. Then I gave him to my dog to chew on. Then my Barbies became lesbians.
So did your dog contract herpes of the tongue from Ken? Can you post pictures of the lesbians?
.:K2:. is offline  
post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 08-30-2006, 11:33 AM
Seriously?
 
Hunny's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Barrington
Posts: 7,013
Location: Barrington
Sportbike: 06 Gsx-R 600
Years Riding: 4 years
How you found us: Your Mom!
           
Send a message via AIM to Hunny Send a message via Yahoo to Hunny
Quote:
Originally Posted by Slowass
This is great!

Barbie's a whore. I had, like, 4 Barbies and only 1 Ken doll, so Ken made his way around all 4...until he caught herpes. Then I gave him to my dog to chew on. Then my Barbies became lesbians.
that made me actually giggle

Bikes can be replaced...people can't...ride safe!!
http://public.fotki.com/kemeiz/
Sex is like math... you add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and pray you don't multiply!
<---- Kristin
UR MOM RACING
Hunny is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the Chicagoland Sportbikes forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome