No sex tonight - Chicagoland Sportbikes
Chicagoland Sportbikes
 
The Funny Papers got some funny stuff? Make us laugh.

 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 08-30-2006, 12:43 PM Thread Starter
Registered User
 
rvt2002's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Gurnee IL
Posts: 971
Location: Gurnee IL
Sportbike: 08 R6, 06 giggy6(trackbike),04 ZX10R,93 NSR250 ,91 TZR250 SP
Years Riding: 8
How you found us: CL
           
No sex tonight

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of
men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.

I have never figured out why men think with their head
and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and
I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she
eventually says "I don't feel like it, "I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every husband on the
planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you
in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I op ted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store.

I walked around with her while she tried on several very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all.

She wan ted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.

We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out pair of diamond earrings.

Let me tell you...she was so exci ted . She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I star ted to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said,
"That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with exci ted anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blur ted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled----WHAT?"

I t hen said "honey, I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial means as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either...
rvt2002 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 08-30-2006, 01:02 PM
Woo Woo
 
ZoomByU's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Tomball, TX
Posts: 2,720
Location: Tomball, TX
Sportbike: None for now
Years Riding: 6
How you found us: friend
           
Send a message via AIM to ZoomByU

"There are no men more ignoble or more foolish, no men whose actions are fraught with greater possibility of mischief to their country and to mankind, than those who exalt unrighteous peace as better than righteous war." - Theodore Roosevelt
"I will bleed on the flag to keep the stripes red!"
ZoomByU is offline  
post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 08-30-2006, 01:04 PM
OBAMA FTW!!!!1!
 
.:K2:.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Hoffman Estates IL
Posts: 3,648
Location: Hoffman Estates IL
Sportbike: Bike less, link to pictures of crashed bike in signature
Years Riding: Riding 3.5 years
How you found us: Hunny's Mom!
           
Send a message via AIM to .:K2:.
Love that one
.:K2:. is offline  
post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 08-30-2006, 01:44 PM
Bug
Ridiculously Good Looking
 
Bug's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Gold Coast
Posts: 32,746
Location: Gold Coast
Sportbike: Sportbike?
Years Riding: No F'in Idea
How you found us: 4 & 6
           
Carefull with that joke, it's an antique

Oldie but a goodie

"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming WOW, what a RIDE !!"
Bug is offline  
post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 08-31-2006, 05:39 PM
Zodiac Freak
 
TifanieMarie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: vernon hills illinois
Posts: 517
Location: vernon hills illinois
Sportbike: ninja 500
Years Riding: i started last spring/summer
How you found us: ttruckinon
           
Send a message via AIM to TifanieMarie Send a message via Yahoo to TifanieMarie
not cool.

If you are flammable and have legs... you are NEVER blocking a fire exit. - Mitch Hedberg

there is a time and a place for speed... and it is not on the highway with heavy traffic

when the boogeyman goes to sleep at night, he checks his closet for chuck norris.

Chris: Why do you put your hand on your hip when you ride?
Me: Where else would i put it?
Chris: ON THE HANDLEBAR?!
Me: nah
TifanieMarie is offline  
post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 09-01-2006, 07:42 AM
Head Redneck
 
ttruckinon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Adairsville Ga
Posts: 743
Location: Adairsville Ga
Sportbike: 2000 GSXR 750 Track Toy
Years Riding: Since I was 17
How you found us: member Rob
           
Quote:
Originally Posted by TifanieMarie
not cool.
Yeah, and she has a t-shirt that says "BUY ME THINGS"

Darrell
NESBA#280

"There are only three sports: mountain climbing, bull
fighting, and motor racing. All the rest are merely
games."
Ernest Hemingway
ttruckinon is offline  
post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 09-01-2006, 08:34 AM
I got kids...
 
Walter T's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: South 'Burbs
Posts: 439
Location: South 'Burbs
Sportbike: Got one you don't want?
Years Riding: BMX days
How you found us: Used to work with "RDRASH".
           
Fulfill the wifely duties.
If I wanted to hear "I don't feel like it", I'd have stayed single.

Watch your thoughts; they become you words...
Watch your words; they become your actions...
Watch your actions; they become your character...
Watch your Character; it will become your legacy.
Walter T is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the Chicagoland Sportbikes forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome