Classes for Guys (Any of these necessary for you?) - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 14 (permalink) Old 10-02-2006, 07:35 PM Thread Starter
Slow Old Guy.
 
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: SS Barrington
Posts: 17,260
Location: SS Barrington
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Years Riding: Since the beginning of time
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Classes for Guys (Any of these necessary for you?)

(sent to me by an old girlfriend. Do you think she is trying to tell me anything?)


SUMMER CLASSES FOR MEN

AT THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY: October 29, 2006

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays*- Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll*- Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and
Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?*- Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 h ours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor*-
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
After Dinner Dishes*- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

Class 6
Loss Of Identity*- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things*- Starting With Looking In The Right Places
And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum .
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch*- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost*- Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live*- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing .
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours ! beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy*- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries
and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven - What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

===========
Great Quote - One would think that the Secret Service was smart enough to get serviced secretly.

MotoVid hasbeen
NESBA hasbeen

CCS neverbeen
WERA neverbeen
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post #2 of 14 (permalink) Old 10-02-2006, 07:38 PM Thread Starter
Slow Old Guy.
 
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: SS Barrington
Posts: 17,260
Location: SS Barrington
Sportbike: Inline Two Wheeled
Years Riding: Since the beginning of time
How you found us: Dan Ortega sent me
           
Come to think of it... I'd like to see a list of the classes for women...

Class 1
Is it impossible to put the seat back UP when you are done?
Live Demonstrations and Arguments
Daily: the rest of your life

===========
Great Quote - One would think that the Secret Service was smart enough to get serviced secretly.

MotoVid hasbeen
NESBA hasbeen

CCS neverbeen
WERA neverbeen
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post #3 of 14 (permalink) Old 10-02-2006, 07:53 PM
BSB > WSBK > MotoGP
 
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: South Loop & Cary
Posts: 11,948
Location: South Loop & Cary
Sportbike: '02 GSXR 600 / '98 CBRF3
Years Riding: Since '03
How you found us: Google
           
Class 2
Is It Genetically Possible For a Woman To Parallel Park?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Jeff
NESBA #311
'02 GSXR600
'98
Smokin' Joe's F3
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post #4 of 14 (permalink) Old 10-02-2006, 09:26 PM
Infectious Human Waste
 
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How you found us: .
           
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Class 3
Being quite for 5 mins+
Every Sunday during football season, bring beer and chips!

Even heroes know when to be scared.
..As I shifted into 6th, I forgot every f'in thing she said..
Im a fuel injected suicide machine!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Criminalgrrl View Post
I'd let him pee in my butt
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post #5 of 14 (permalink) Old 10-02-2006, 09:33 PM
Irony helps us play!
 
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: N'ville
Posts: 29,510
Location: N'ville
Sportbike: 2000 F4
Years Riding: Long enough to know better
How you found us: some hot MILF whispered it in my ear
           
Class 4
Money MythBusting - If you don't make it; is there an endless supply?
Class includes Lecture and Lab.

Everyone Exaggerates

We're being taken for a ride... agaaaaaaain.....


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post #6 of 14 (permalink) Old 10-03-2006, 07:08 AM
Moderator
 
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Naperville, IL
Posts: 23,640
Location: Naperville, IL
Sportbike: Kawi ZX-10R
Years Riding: Since February 2012
How you found us: NESBA bbs
           
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Class 5
How not to ask questions you don't want honest answers to.
Role-playing/role-reversal will occur.

Never a bad time to climb... unless the weather is really horrible, and then you climb inside!

I bleed GREEN
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post #7 of 14 (permalink) Old 10-03-2006, 07:29 AM
that punk kid
 
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Hinsdale, IL
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Location: Hinsdale, IL
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good ones guys! thats hilarious!

Adrenalin Junkie
- '05 Suzuki GSXR 1000
- ** retired ** '05 Kawasaki ZX-6R
- NESBA "A" #616
- Founder/President - Creatix, Inc.
- Founder - BartendChicago - BartendChicago.com

Wikipedia - Adrenaline Junkie - An adrenaline junkie is somebody who feels as if they are addicted to adrenaline. Adrenaline junkies may enjoy competing in extreme sports like skydiving, surfing, motorcycle racing, or anything else that gets their heart rate up. This sort of addiction is brought on by enjoying the (adrenaline) "rush" gained from these activities.
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post #8 of 14 (permalink) Old 10-03-2006, 07:39 AM
Sarcasm in every post.
 
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: 40mi West of the City
Posts: 4,538
Location: 40mi West of the City
Sportbike: '01 ZX-6R, '88 Katana 600
Years Riding: 20+yrs.
How you found us: Written on a YWB's ass. Next to "EMR was here"
           
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wink
(sent to me by an old girlfriend. Do you think she is trying to tell me anything?)


SUMMER CLASSES FOR MEN

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost*- Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Ken.


My Garage.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
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post #9 of 14 (permalink) Old 10-03-2006, 09:20 AM
__________
 
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Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Somewhere else.
Posts: 6,365
Location: Somewhere else.
Sportbike: Resurrection Built YZ250F, Various European Junk
Years Riding: Yes
How you found us: SBN
           
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chills
Class 5
How not to ask questions you don't want honest answers to.
Role-playing/role-reversal will occur.



The answer is "No, your ass does not look like a ship in those pants"


I had to take that class twice.
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post #10 of 14 (permalink) Old 10-03-2006, 09:27 AM
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,038
           
Class 7 - Movie Selection - There are choices beyond Reese Witherspoon romantic comedies
Saturday Nights - The Admiral Theatre
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post #11 of 14 (permalink) Old 10-03-2006, 09:29 AM
Enjoying Life!!
 
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Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Cruising Around Enjoying Life!!
Posts: 17,774
Location: Cruising Around Enjoying Life!!
Sportbike: 09 Night Rod Black Denim
Years Riding: Not Long Enuff!!!!
How you found us: Friends
           
The sad part is, some of these can be said for the ladies I've dated


I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later!!
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post #12 of 14 (permalink) Old 10-03-2006, 09:46 AM Thread Starter
Slow Old Guy.
 
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: SS Barrington
Posts: 17,260
Location: SS Barrington
Sportbike: Inline Two Wheeled
Years Riding: Since the beginning of time
How you found us: Dan Ortega sent me
           
Nice one's guys!

===========
Great Quote - One would think that the Secret Service was smart enough to get serviced secretly.

MotoVid hasbeen
NESBA hasbeen

CCS neverbeen
WERA neverbeen
Wink is offline  
post #13 of 14 (permalink) Old 10-03-2006, 09:53 AM
Moderator
 
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Naperville, IL
Posts: 23,640
Location: Naperville, IL
Sportbike: Kawi ZX-10R
Years Riding: Since February 2012
How you found us: NESBA bbs
           
Send a message via Yahoo to Chills
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dirtbiker
The answer is "No, your ass does not look like a ship in those pants"


I had to take that class twice.

Or "No, I don't think Jessica Biel has a better body than you."

I had remedial classes as well.

Never a bad time to climb... unless the weather is really horrible, and then you climb inside!

I bleed GREEN
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post #14 of 14 (permalink) Old 10-03-2006, 09:58 AM
Rex Banner
 
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Aurora
Posts: 2,561
Location: Aurora
Sportbike: 99 SV650, z50r
Years Riding: A few years
How you found us: A tranny told me
           
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chills
Or "No, I don't think Jessica Biel has a better body than you."

I had remedial classes as well.
Or the old.... "No, I'm not thinking about the hot chick I saw on the train this morning while we're having sex"
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