How to Save the Airlines - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 13 (permalink) Old 10-04-2006, 09:14 AM Thread Starter
Seriously?
 
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How to Save the Airlines

I am sorry I thought this was funny...


Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place.

Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers!
What the hell -- they don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss?


The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a "party
atmosphere" going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in
this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women.

Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn't need a salary,
thus saving even more money. I suspect tips would be so good that we
could charge the women for working the plane and have them kick back 20%
of the tips, including lap dances and "special services."

Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked
women.

Highjackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry
would see record revenues. This is definitely a win-win situation if we
handle it right -- a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an
asset

Why didn't Bush think of this?! Why do I still have to do everything
myself?

Sincerely,

Bill Clinton

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post #2 of 13 (permalink) Old 10-04-2006, 09:22 AM
OBAMA FTW!!!!1!
 
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post #3 of 13 (permalink) Old 10-04-2006, 09:30 AM
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why is this in the funny papers? this sounds like a serious business proposal to me, hell WSE woudl start flying around with no particular destination in mind.




HDTony.... Damn glad to meet you!

Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.

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post #4 of 13 (permalink) Old 10-04-2006, 09:32 AM
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There is alot of merit to this theory! I say lets all invest to re-start Hooters airlines! Did they ever get hijacked?

Hooters Air!
Hooters Air!
Hooters Air!


"When in doubt, use full throttle. It may not improve your situation, but it will end the suspense."
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post #5 of 13 (permalink) Old 10-04-2006, 09:35 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kegger
There is alot of merit to this theory! I say lets all invest to re-start Hooters airlines! Did they ever get hijacked?

Hooters Air!
Hooters Air!
Hooters Air!

no never hijacked, but they are the only airline that stole the idea from someone else and were sued for it. .

but that's neither here nor there..... this is a great idea, it would give me something to do on a boring 4 hour flight to CA. The only problem is how do you get a lap dance in that little airline seat?

Last edited by Flying_Hellfish; 10-04-2006 at 09:48 AM.
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post #6 of 13 (permalink) Old 10-04-2006, 09:58 AM
OBAMA FTW!!!!1!
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Flying_Hellfish
The only problem is how do you get a lap dance in that little airline seat?
Ahhh the perks of business class

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post #7 of 13 (permalink) Old 10-04-2006, 10:00 AM
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Ahhh the perks of business class
wait just a minute, I've got it..... midget strippers!
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post #8 of 13 (permalink) Old 10-04-2006, 10:03 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Flying_Hellfish
wait just a minute, I've got it..... midget strippers!
I still need directions to that midget bar..............


Do it. Dooo it!

"When in doubt, use full throttle. It may not improve your situation, but it will end the suspense."
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post #9 of 13 (permalink) Old 10-04-2006, 10:15 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kegger
I still need directions to that midget bar..............


Do it. Dooo it!
Ha ha ha, from what I've heard it's not around anymore, so unless you have a delorian with one of these on the back.....



I don't think you're going to find it.
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post #10 of 13 (permalink) Old 10-04-2006, 11:17 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Flying_Hellfish
Ha ha ha, from what I've heard it's not around anymore, so unless you have a delorian with one of these on the back.....



I don't think you're going to find it.
There's a midget bar in Worth. It's called Magillis or something like that, right by 111th and between Harlem and Ridgeland. Just went there a month ago so I know it's still around.
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post #11 of 13 (permalink) Old 10-04-2006, 11:35 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by whitedawg
There's a midget bar in Worth. It's called Magillis or something like that, right by 111th and between Harlem and Ridgeland. Just went there a month ago so I know it's still around.
Roadtrip! Make sure EndlessRR comes so he can feel "tall" for once in his life!

"When in doubt, use full throttle. It may not improve your situation, but it will end the suspense."
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post #12 of 13 (permalink) Old 10-04-2006, 11:41 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kegger
Roadtrip! Make sure EndlessRR comes so he can feel "tall" for once in his life!
I'm in. maybe they have a midget tossing night.
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post #13 of 13 (permalink) Old 10-04-2006, 11:43 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kegger
Roadtrip! Make sure EndlessRR comes so he can feel "tall" for once in his life!
I think there should be a meet up there one night so I can finally meet some more people from here. Nobody's really close to me and all the bike nights are at times I can't make it...But a midget bar I can make!!!
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