Are you a Republican, Democrat or a Redneck - Chicagoland Sportbikes
Chicagoland Sportbikes
 
The Funny Papers got some funny stuff? Make us laugh.

 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 11 (permalink) Old 10-19-2006, 12:53 PM Thread Starter
Registered User
 
2weelpilot's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Spring Grove, IL
Posts: 18,082
Location: Spring Grove, IL
Sportbike: yz250f
Years Riding: 25 years
How you found us: dont recall
           
Are you a Republican, Democrat or a Redneck

Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck? Here is a little test that will help you decide.

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
children. Suddenly, an Islamic terrorist with a huge knife comes
around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises
Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.

You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an expert shot. You have
mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.


What do you do?



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Democrat's Answer:



Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!



Does the man look poor? Or oppressed?



Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?



What does my wife think? What about the kids?



Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of
his hand?



What does the law say about this situation?



Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?



Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does
this send to society and to my children?



Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?



Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to
wound me?



If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away
while he was stabbing me?



Should I call 9-1-1?



Why is this street so deserted?



We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a
happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.



This is all so confusing!



I need to discuss with some friends over a latte and try to come to a
consensus.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Republican's Answer:
BANG!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Redneck's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Click.....(sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click .



Wife: "You are not taking that to the taxidermist!"

Mike

When the tailgate drops..the bullshit stops
Hunt ethically - Hunt with a trained Retriever !
2weelpilot is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 11 (permalink) Old 10-19-2006, 01:11 PM
Ooooooooohhh!!!!
 
blackrose613's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Morton Grove, IL
Posts: 682
Location: Morton Grove, IL
Sportbike: Katana 750
Years Riding: 30 years
How you found us: google search
           
Send a message via Yahoo to blackrose613
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2weelpilot
Wife: "You are not taking that to the taxidermist!"
Bwahahahha!!

_________
Chrys
____________________
2000 Suzuki Katana 750

Quote:
Originally Posted by Odysseys View Post
Lol I am no pimp. I am married and have no game.
blackrose613 is offline  
post #3 of 11 (permalink) Old 10-19-2006, 01:18 PM
OBAMA FTW!!!!1!
 
.:K2:.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Hoffman Estates IL
Posts: 3,648
Location: Hoffman Estates IL
Sportbike: Bike less, link to pictures of crashed bike in signature
Years Riding: Riding 3.5 years
How you found us: Hunny's Mom!
           
Send a message via AIM to .:K2:.

<---- Andy

Gear saved my life - there is no luck involved in wearing gear.

Crashed Bike pictures:
https://www.chicagolandsportbikes.com...&postcount=138
https://www.chicagolandsportbikes.com...&postcount=139
.:K2:. is offline  
post #4 of 11 (permalink) Old 10-19-2006, 01:19 PM
Irony helps us play!
 
Arch's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: N'ville
Posts: 29,510
Location: N'ville
Sportbike: 2000 F4
Years Riding: Long enough to know better
How you found us: some hot MILF whispered it in my ear
           
"You can have my wife and kids, but no one... I mean NO ONE gets mah gun!"

Everyone Exaggerates

We're being taken for a ride... agaaaaaaain.....


Best Auto/Moto Insurance | Motorcycle Protection Today | FREE Trade-In Quote
Arch is offline  
post #5 of 11 (permalink) Old 10-19-2006, 01:31 PM
Ride Red, DO WORK SON!!
 
SmokinJohn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Illinois (Joliet)
Posts: 4,666
Location: Illinois (Joliet)
Sportbike: Rockets & Harleys
Years Riding: Me love you long time
How you found us: CLSB DECAL
           
Redneck!!!!! I 'd strap him across the tailgate with bungies or tie downs and take him on into town, and see if I could at least keep an ear or two...

***Ashwin RIP Brotha you will be missed***




www.dcdecals.net www.firespeed.com


Life's Journey Is Not To Arrive At The Grave Safely In A Well Preserved Body, But Rather To Skid In Sideways, Totally Worn Out, Shouting "HOLY SHIT... What A Ride!"

All you have to do is follow three simple rules. One, never under estimate your opponent (mentality). Expect the unexpected (could work out in your favor). Two, take it outside(or to a table). Never start anything inside the Bar unless it's absolutely necessary. And three, be nice.



Turning Shit into Sugar!!
SmokinJohn is offline  
post #6 of 11 (permalink) Old 10-19-2006, 01:36 PM
Fear is the mind killer
 
ChiefBD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Waukegan,IL
Posts: 8,772
Location: Waukegan,IL
Sportbike: 05 GSXR 600, 03 RM 250
Years Riding: Thousands of miles, multiple engines
How you found us: www.gsxr.com
           


Actually, I would think of a few of those things, but still will go BANG. I've been corrupted by Jack Bauer and 24 .

Xbox Live GOW Killer
Handle : ChiefBDR

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kegger View Post
"Ride it like you have 30 monthly remaining payments" should keep most people out of trouble.
ChiefBD is offline  
post #7 of 11 (permalink) Old 10-19-2006, 01:39 PM
Registered User
 
BanditCPA's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: .
Posts: 2,083
Location: .
Sportbike: Moto Guzzi V-11 sport
Years Riding: since 1998
How you found us: .
           
You forgot about the part where the kids say "Nice grouping daddy...were you using silvertips or roundball ammo?"

Old one but still good!
BanditCPA is offline  
post #8 of 11 (permalink) Old 10-19-2006, 01:47 PM
I'm a blessed man
 
ronhix's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Aurora, IL
Posts: 3,707
Location: Aurora, IL
Sportbike: GSXR 1000
Years Riding: not long enough
How you found us: Sportbikes.net
           
LOL! I miss bama.

Ron Hix
MTD CR #975
ronhix is offline  
post #9 of 11 (permalink) Old 10-19-2006, 01:54 PM
Administrator
 
HDTony's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Plainfield IL
Posts: 45,956
Location: Plainfield IL
Sportbike: A couple of pasta rockets
Years Riding: Since 1989
How you found us: In the beginning there was CLSB and Tony saw that it was good.
           
Send a message via AIM to HDTony
Quote:
Originally Posted by ronhix
LOL! I miss bama.





HDTony.... Damn glad to meet you!

Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.

- Ronald Reagan

AirTek Heating & Air inc.
HDTony is offline  
post #10 of 11 (permalink) Old 10-19-2006, 02:16 PM
Ex-Ninja
 
whitedawg's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Joliet
Posts: 2,407
Location: Joliet
Sportbike: 04 Yamaha R1
Years Riding: 5 years
How you found us: Friend
           
Send a message via AIM to whitedawg Send a message via Yahoo to whitedawg
Nice one...I'd definately go Postal on his ass
whitedawg is offline  
post #11 of 11 (permalink) Old 10-19-2006, 02:25 PM
The Victim Newbie
 
clearwaterms's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Westchester, IL
Posts: 7,384
Location: Westchester, IL
Sportbike: 2007 mountain bike
Years Riding: just started
How you found us: svrider.com
           
Send a message via AIM to clearwaterms Send a message via MSN to clearwaterms Send a message via Yahoo to clearwaterms
if im an expert shot, why can't I shoot him non in such a way so as not to kill him. protect myself and my family, but not purposely and intently kill another man, when there is another option.

however, im not an expert shot, so your getting a whole lot lead to the biggest target, aimed at your biggest target / your chest

<-- Chris

turn the bars left and go right; that just isn't right
clearwaterms is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the Chicagoland Sportbikes forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome