A good HR Joke - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 07-16-2003, 01:44 PM
Grasshopper
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A good HR Joke

A Day in Hell
One day while walking down the street, a bus
> > > tragically hit a highly successful HR Director and
> > > she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she
> > > was met at the Pearly Gates by St.Peter himself.

> > > "Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get
> > > settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You
> > > see, strangely enough, we've never once had a Human
> > > Resources Director make it this far and we're not
> > > really sure what to do with you."

> > > "No problem, just let me in," said the woman.

> > > "Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What
> > > we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and
> > > a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever
> > > one you want to spend an eternity in."

> > > "Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to
> > > stay in Heaven", said the woman.

> > > "Sorry, we have rules..." And with that St. Peter
> > > put the executive in an elevator and it went down to
> > > hell.

> > > The doors opened and she found herself stepping out
> > > onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course.
> > > In the distance was a country club and standing in
> > > front of her were all her friends - fellow
> > > executives that she had worked with and they were
> > > all dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her.

> > > They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they
> > > talked about old times. They played an excellent
> > > round of golf and at night went to the country club
> > > where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster
> > > dinner.

> > > She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy
> > > (kind of cute) and she had a great time telling
> > > jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time
> > > that before she knew it, it was time to leave.

> > > Everybody shook her hand and waved good-bye as she
> > > got on the elevator.
> > > The elevator went up and opened back up at the
> > > Pearly Gates and found St. Peter waiting for her.

> > > "Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said.

> > > So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on
> > > clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had a
> > > great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were
> > > up and St. Peter came and got her.

> > > "So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a
> > > day in heaven. Now you must choose your eternity,"
> > > he said.

> > > The woman paused for a second and then replied,
> > > "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven
> > > has been really great and all, but I think I had a
> > > better time in Hell."

> > > So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again
> > > she went down down down back to Hell. When the doors
> > > of the elevator opened she found herself standing in
> > > a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth.

> > > She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were
> > > picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks.
> > > The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.
> > > "I don't understand," stammered the woman,
> > > "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course
> > > and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced
> > > and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland
of garbage and all my friends look miserable.



The Devil looked at her and smiled and said, "Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you're staff."
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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 07-16-2003, 02:01 PM
YO MAMA
 
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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 07-16-2003, 02:03 PM
mmm...Mustard Gas
 
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Good one.

A guy dies and goes to hell. The devil says, "You got a choice of 3 rooms to spend eternity in," and shows the guy the first one. The room is full of people stuck in hip deep sh!t. "Uh, let me see the next room," he says. The devil opens the next door and the room is full of people stuck in sh!t up to their necks. "Damn, let me see the last one." The devil opens the door and the guy sees a room full of people stuck in knee-deep shit. But they are all talking to each other over coffee and donuts. "Ok, I'll take it." "You sure?" "Yes." The guy walks inside the room and the door closes behind him.

Just then the demon in charge of the people in that room announces, "Ok, coffee break over, everyone back on your hands!"

+++
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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 07-16-2003, 02:25 PM
freaking newbies, man there slow, ha ha ha
 
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yes!!!!!

damn corporate HR!
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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 07-16-2003, 04:18 PM
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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 07-16-2003, 04:22 PM
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