A good HR Joke - Chicagoland Sportbikes
Chicagoland Sportbikes
The Funny Papers got some funny stuff? Make us laugh.

LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 07-16-2003, 02:44 PM
Posts: n/a
A good HR Joke

A Day in Hell
One day while walking down the street, a bus
> > > tragically hit a highly successful HR Director and
> > > she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she
> > > was met at the Pearly Gates by St.Peter himself.

> > > "Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get
> > > settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You
> > > see, strangely enough, we've never once had a Human
> > > Resources Director make it this far and we're not
> > > really sure what to do with you."

> > > "No problem, just let me in," said the woman.

> > > "Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What
> > > we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and
> > > a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever
> > > one you want to spend an eternity in."

> > > "Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to
> > > stay in Heaven", said the woman.

> > > "Sorry, we have rules..." And with that St. Peter
> > > put the executive in an elevator and it went down to
> > > hell.

> > > The doors opened and she found herself stepping out
> > > onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course.
> > > In the distance was a country club and standing in
> > > front of her were all her friends - fellow
> > > executives that she had worked with and they were
> > > all dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her.

> > > They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they
> > > talked about old times. They played an excellent
> > > round of golf and at night went to the country club
> > > where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster
> > > dinner.

> > > She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy
> > > (kind of cute) and she had a great time telling
> > > jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time
> > > that before she knew it, it was time to leave.

> > > Everybody shook her hand and waved good-bye as she
> > > got on the elevator.
> > > The elevator went up and opened back up at the
> > > Pearly Gates and found St. Peter waiting for her.

> > > "Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said.

> > > So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on
> > > clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had a
> > > great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were
> > > up and St. Peter came and got her.

> > > "So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a
> > > day in heaven. Now you must choose your eternity,"
> > > he said.

> > > The woman paused for a second and then replied,
> > > "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven
> > > has been really great and all, but I think I had a
> > > better time in Hell."

> > > So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again
> > > she went down down down back to Hell. When the doors
> > > of the elevator opened she found herself standing in
> > > a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth.

> > > She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were
> > > picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks.
> > > The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.
> > > "I don't understand," stammered the woman,
> > > "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course
> > > and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced
> > > and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland
of garbage and all my friends look miserable.

The Devil looked at her and smiled and said, "Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you're staff."
Sponsored Links
post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 07-16-2003, 03:01 PM
Odysseys's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: balls deep in someones mom
Posts: 60,261
Location: balls deep in someones mom
Sportbike: 2010 Electra Glide Police Edition 103cu
Years Riding: a long time!

Odysseys is offline  
post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 07-16-2003, 03:03 PM
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 492
Good one.

A guy dies and goes to hell. The devil says, "You got a choice of 3 rooms to spend eternity in," and shows the guy the first one. The room is full of people stuck in hip deep sh!t. "Uh, let me see the next room," he says. The devil opens the next door and the room is full of people stuck in sh!t up to their necks. "Damn, let me see the last one." The devil opens the door and the guy sees a room full of people stuck in knee-deep shit. But they are all talking to each other over coffee and donuts. "Ok, I'll take it." "You sure?" "Yes." The guy walks inside the room and the door closes behind him.

Just then the demon in charge of the people in that room announces, "Ok, coffee break over, everyone back on your hands!"
GelbKreuz is offline  
post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 07-16-2003, 03:25 PM
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 3,495

damn corporate HR!
cherrypicker is offline  
post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 07-16-2003, 05:18 PM
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 1,084
MeggysGixxer is offline  
post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 07-16-2003, 05:22 PM
Evil Moderatrix
KBOlsen's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Think corn and pigs. Lots and lots of corn and pigs.
Posts: 8,030
Location: Think corn and pigs. Lots and lots of corn and pigs.
Sportbike: A Big Blue One, a threesome of Sexy Red Ones - and a Happy Yellow One!
Years Riding: Quarter century.
How you found us: I was looking for Jimmy Choo's in my shoe closet.
Send a message via AIM to KBOlsen

CCS AM #815 - the cute, fuzzy, yellow, spoiled-rotten half of Team Duc Tape!
I break stuff
Duck, duck, duck, GUZ!
KBOlsen is offline  

Quick Reply

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Chicagoland Sportbikes forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:


Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome