Ahh..the life of Dogs and Cats - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 11 (permalink) Old 07-16-2003, 04:39 PM Thread Starter
IDK WTF TO PUT HERE NOW!
 
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Ahh..the life of Dogs and Cats

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S LIFE
Day 180
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

Day 181
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

Day 182
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
1:30 pm - OOOOOOOH. BATH. BUMMER!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY

DAY 183
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat,
while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 184
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair ... must try this on their bed.

DAY 185
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was ... Hmmm. Not working according to plan.

DAY 186
I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 187
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer". More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 188
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...
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post #2 of 11 (permalink) Old 07-16-2003, 04:44 PM
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Too funny

"No dig up stupid."

Chief Quimby
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post #3 of 11 (permalink) Old 07-16-2003, 04:46 PM Thread Starter
IDK WTF TO PUT HERE NOW!
 
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I keep reading the cat as the voice of Brain, from Pinky and the Brain!!!

LOL

Ciao,
Lupi
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post #4 of 11 (permalink) Old 07-16-2003, 04:50 PM
M109R
 
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too funny

How do you turn this thing on?
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post #5 of 11 (permalink) Old 07-16-2003, 05:10 PM
Head Stepper
 
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I'm going to read this to my cat,... just to make sure that he doesn't get any ideas! Too funny!!

<-------- Jeff


Hey baby! You ever been on the back of an expensive sportbike??


Property of Evil Monkey Racing
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post #6 of 11 (permalink) Old 07-16-2003, 05:31 PM
Ducatistanna
 
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Re: Ahh..the life of Dogs and Cats

Quote:
Originally posted by Lupi
The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly.
OMG... this is the funnies thing I have read in a long time

Four wheels move your body, two wheels move your soul

BLOG:excessivelocity.blogspot.com

WEBSITE:excessivelocity.com
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post #7 of 11 (permalink) Old 07-16-2003, 05:48 PM
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I've seen/heard that before, but its still funny....

**Kelsey
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post #8 of 11 (permalink) Old 07-16-2003, 05:58 PM
freaking newbies, man there slow, ha ha ha
 
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post #9 of 11 (permalink) Old 07-16-2003, 09:36 PM
Your friendly Crazy Canuk
 
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Hmmmm sounds like a scene for my house You own a dog, cats have a staff

Sometimes goodbye is your second chance.
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post #10 of 11 (permalink) Old 07-16-2003, 10:01 PM
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I think you forgot "lick balls"...
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post #11 of 11 (permalink) Old 07-16-2003, 10:29 PM
Who's faster Lupi
 
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Nice one Lupi.

NESBA #456 Intermediate
Always 1 step ahead of Lupi. 1:24:7 BHF
And 1 step behind Kimmy

"SoB gets to spend yet ANOTHER season faster than me." -LUPI-
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