Hey Kim.... where are the Friday Funnies??! - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-01-2003, 11:40 AM Thread Starter
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Hey Kim.... where are the Friday Funnies??!

Anyone got any good jokes???? What happened to Kimmy's Friday Funnies>?????
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post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-01-2003, 01:58 PM
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An eighteen-year-old girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for two months.
Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit.
The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.
Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!
The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.
Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house; a mature and a distinguished man with gray hair, impeccably dressed in a very expensive suit steps out of it and enters the house.
He sits in the living room with the father, the mother, and the girl, and tells them:
"Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. However, I can't marry her because of my personal family situation, but I'll take charge.
If a girl is born I will bequeath her 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beach villa and a $1,000,000 bank account."
"If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $2,000,000 bank account."
"If it is twins, a factory and $1,000,000 each.
However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"
At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him,
"You'll screw her again!"

Mike

When the tailgate drops..the bullshit stops
Hunt ethically - Hunt with a trained Retriever !
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post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-01-2003, 02:09 PM
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If you don't suceed try try try again.

Many men, wish death upon me
Blood in my eye dawg and I can't see
I'm trying to be what I'm destined to be.
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post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-02-2003, 01:36 AM
well i got my knee down BUT, i need a new side panel
 
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post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-19-2003, 10:56 AM
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Its not Friday...but I found this one funny.


A group of blondes walk into a bar. One of the women tells the bartender to
line up a row of drinks for all of them. The gals lift their glasses and
toast, "Here's to 51 days!" and they proceed to down their drinks.



Once again, they tell the bartender to "line 'em up", and once again they
toast 51 days and down their drinks.




The bartender says, "I don't get it. Why in the world are you toasting 51
days?"




One of the blondes explains, "We just finished a jigsaw puzzle. It had
written on the box '2-4 years,' but we finished it in 51 days!"

Mike

When the tailgate drops..the bullshit stops
Hunt ethically - Hunt with a trained Retriever !
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post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-19-2003, 12:12 PM
freaking newbies, man there slow, ha ha ha
 
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post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-19-2003, 12:24 PM
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I just love the french
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post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-19-2003, 12:42 PM
freaking newbies, man there slow, ha ha ha
 
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^^ That is hilarious
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post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-19-2003, 02:26 PM
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On a tour of Florida, the Pope took a few days off to visit the coast for some sightseeing.

He was cruising along the beach in the Pope-mobile when there was a frantic commotion just off shore. A helpless man,
wearing a CHICAGO BEARS jersey, was struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 15 foot shark.

As the Pope watched in horror, a speedboat pulled up with three men wearing GREEN BAY PACKERS jerseys. One quickly
fired a harpoon into the sharks side while the other two reached out and pulled the blue semiconscious Bear fan from the

water. Then using the long clubs, the three beat the shark to death and hauled it into the boat.

Immediately the pope shouted and summoned them to him. "I give you my blessing for your brave actions. I have always
heard that there was bitter hatred between the Green Bay Packers and the Bears, but now I have seen with my own eyes that

this is not true."

As the Pope drove off, the harpooner asked his buddies, "who was that?"
"It was the pope" one replied. "He is in close contact with God and some say he has unrivaled access to God's wisdom."

"Well" the harpooner said, "he may have access to God and his wisdom, but he doesn't know anything about shark fishing.

Is the bait holding up OK or do we need to get another one?"

Mike

When the tailgate drops..the bullshit stops
Hunt ethically - Hunt with a trained Retriever !
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