Q. How can you tell when an auto mechanic just had sex?
A. One of his fingers is clean.
Q. Why does a penis have a hole in the end?
A. So men can be open minded.
Q. What's the biggest fish in the world?
A. A hore, if you catch one you can eat her for months.
Q. How can you tell if your girlfriend wants you?
A. When you put your hand down her pants and it feels like you're feeding a horse.
Q. Have you heard about the new 'Mint flavored birth control pill for women that they take immediately before sex?
A. They're called 'Predickamints'
Q. What is the difference between a golf ball and a g-spot?
A. Men will spend two hours searching for a golf ball.
Q. What's the difference between a toad and a horny toad?
A. One goes "ribbit" the other goes "rub it".'
Q. Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women?
A. He died laughing before he could tell anybody.
Q. What's the difference between Mad Cow disease and PMS?
Q. How do you confuse a female archaeologist?
A. Give her a used tampon and ask her what period it's from.
Q. Why does the bride always wear white?
A. Well aren't all kitchen appliances that colour?
Q. What's the difference between parsley and pussy?
A. Nobody eats parsley.
Q. What's green, slimy and smells like Miss Piggy?
A. Kermit's Finger
Q. What do you do with 365 used rubbers?
A. Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.
Q. What's the difference between sin and shame?
A. It is a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.
Q. What's the speed limit of sex?
A. 68 because at 69 you have to turn around.
Q. What's the ultimate rejection?
A. When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.
Q. Why did Raggedy Anne get thrown out of the toy box?
A. Because she kept sitting on Pinocchio's face moaning, "Lie to me!"
Q. Why is air a lot like sex?
A. Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
Q. What did the egg say to the boiling water?
A. "How can you expect me to get hard so fast? I just got laid a minute ago."