Speak English? Legnthy-- - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-21-2003, 04:13 PM Thread Starter
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Location: Roselle, IL
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Speak English? Legnthy--

Some other reasons to be grateful if you grew up
speaking English:

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it
was time to present the present.
8) At the Army base, a bass was painted on the head of a bass
drum
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of Novocain injections, my jaw got number.
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
21) I spent last evening evening out a pile of dirt.

example ... If you have a rough cough, climbing can be tough when going through the bough on a tree!

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in
eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England.
We take English for granted.

But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work
slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from
Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers
don't groce and hammers don't ham?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid
of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English should
be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by
filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

If Dad is Pop, how's come Mom isn't Mop?


<--Kelly

.

2000 Hayabusa
2006 Honda CRF50
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post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-21-2003, 04:44 PM
mmm...Mustard Gas
 
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Sounds like a George Carlin outtake. Is it?

+++
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post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-22-2003, 12:39 AM
Show me yo' twisties!!!
 
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Location: South Elgin, IL
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Driving in a parkway and parking in a driveway.

ERiC B.

2000 Honda CBR600F4
2004 Honda CRF50F

Team Hyperaktiv
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post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-22-2003, 02:25 AM Thread Starter
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Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Roselle, IL
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Location: Roselle, IL
Sportbike: 2000 Hayabusa Blue & Silver! Mods-> Oh yeah!
Years Riding: Oh just a couple or so....
How you found us: Old SBN days.......
           
Quote:
Originally posted by GelbKreuz
Sounds like a George Carlin outtake. Is it?
I truly have no idea! I got it as an email, enjoyed it, and thought i would pass it on

<--Kelly

.

2000 Hayabusa
2006 Honda CRF50
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post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-22-2003, 08:45 AM
well i got my knee down BUT, i need a new side panel
 
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Location: Muskego, WI
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How you found us: Original member......
 
Cool!
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post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-22-2003, 08:56 AM
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That is cool to read.
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post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-22-2003, 09:33 AM
CHeYeNNe
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The english language is so fawked up
post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-22-2003, 09:55 AM
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Location: Lombard
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Sportbike: 06 CBR600RR
Years Riding: bought my first street bike in 2000
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i suggest printing that list out, and the next you get you have a few drinks, trying to read it
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post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-22-2003, 10:45 AM
Please attend carefully..
 
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I too wonder where the two of you are going to....

"Stupidity is also a gift of God, but one mustn't misuse it." - JP2

"Life is just a place where we spend time between games" - former Philadelphia Flyers coach Fred Shero

"everyone's a nutjob, some just have more restraint than others" - EndlessRR
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