Randon thoughts as told by a man... - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 11 (permalink) Old 11-03-2009, 03:54 PM Thread Starter
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Randon thoughts as told by a man...

-I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

-More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.

-Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

-I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?

-That's enough, Aerosmith, time to stop.

-I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

-Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

-There is a great need for sarcasm font.

-Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f was going on when I first saw it.

-I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

-I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

- I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

-The only time I look forward to a red light is when Im trying to finish a text.

- A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.

- Was learning cursive really necessary?

- Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

-What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

- While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Super Mario.

- MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

- Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

- Bad decisions make good stories

-If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

-Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....

-You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

-There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

-I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

-I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

-When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.

-Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...

- As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

-It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

-I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

-Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but Id bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

-My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?

-I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

-I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

-I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

-The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.



The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

R.I.P. Ashwin
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post #2 of 11 (permalink) Old 11-03-2009, 04:00 PM
CLSB's Florida Chapter.
 
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awesome.

-Mopar

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post #3 of 11 (permalink) Old 11-03-2009, 06:07 PM
NISSAN PARTS TECHNICAIN
 
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haha, funny stuff
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post #4 of 11 (permalink) Old 11-03-2009, 06:52 PM
Ahh. Days gone by.
 
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-My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?

Thats just funny as hell!!!

I vow not to give up my winter time six pack for summer time 12 packs.


Keggers insight to insurance companies bottom line.


"Lets take the insurance companies perspective:

They use a simple formula in this type of situation -

Tool + HP = loss

Its really that simple."
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post #5 of 11 (permalink) Old 11-03-2009, 10:00 PM
Gullible Idiot
 
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that is some funny sh*t
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post #6 of 11 (permalink) Old 11-04-2009, 12:49 PM
Old Squid on a Blade
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LEWNITIC View Post
-My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?

Thats just funny as hell!!!
That's easy... 20 points.

There is nothing firm, nothing balanced, nothing durable in all the universe. Nothing remains in its original state, each day, each hour, each moment, there is change. Change is the essence of life. Embrace change as you do life. To fight change is to live in the past.
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post #7 of 11 (permalink) Old 11-04-2009, 12:59 PM
The Halo hides my Horns
 
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Haha, good stuff!

aut cum scuto aut in scuto

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post #8 of 11 (permalink) Old 11-04-2009, 01:25 PM
TERRAdactyl
 
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good find

Terra
STT Staff
Midwest Instructor
www.sportbiketracktime.com


Pushing the Limits of Life's Opportunities
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post #9 of 11 (permalink) Old 11-04-2009, 01:43 PM
Obsessed and Deranged
 
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-I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.


oooohh i hate that ad, is that just in california or do they have those here too?
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post #10 of 11 (permalink) Old 11-04-2009, 01:55 PM
Fear is the mind killer
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elroy121 View Post
-I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.


oooohh i hate that ad, is that just in california or do they have those here too?
They are here unfortunately

http://kay.know-where.com/kay/cgi/se...x=252&map.y=78


Some of those are hilarious

-I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in. GUILTY

- I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. Hope my system self destructs after 3 days without a login attempt.


-What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?


-When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking. FB Guilty


-I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit. GUILTY

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Handle : ChiefBDR

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kegger View Post
"Ride it like you have 30 monthly remaining payments" should keep most people out of trouble.
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post #11 of 11 (permalink) Old 11-04-2009, 03:24 PM
Chief Apex Inspector
 
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Awesome !



Tom

T2
It's ALL between the ears.....
NESBA Midwest CR #82 ( Hey - T2! ) Retired ?
FJR and a Big Red Wing-Thing
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