Gripe Sheet - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 12-03-2009, 10:37 AM Thread Starter
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Gripe Sheet

Got this in an email today, pretty good stuff

Quote:
After every flight, pilots fill out a form, called a gripe sheet which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some maintenance complaints submitted by pilots and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, the airline these came from is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.
Pilot: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
Engineers: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

Pilot: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
Engineers: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

Pilot: Something loose in cockpit.
Engineers: Something tightened in cockpit.

Pilot: Dead bugs on windshield.
Engineers: Live bugs on back-order.

Pilot: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
Engineers: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

Pilot: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
Engineers: Evidence removed.

Pilot: DME volume unbelievably loud.
Engineers: DME volume set to more believable level.

Pilot: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
Engineers: That's what friction locks are for.

Pilot: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
Engineers: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

Pilot: Suspected crack in windshield.
Engineers: Suspect you're right.

Pilot: Number 3 engine missing.
Engineers: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

Pilot: Aircraft handles funny.
Engineers: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

Pilot: Target radar hums.
Engineers: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

Pilot: Mouse in cockpit.
Engineers: Cat installed.

Pilot: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
Engineers: Took hammer away from midget

Tom

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tacitus
In a state where corruption abounds, laws must be very numerous.
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post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 12-03-2009, 10:41 AM
I'm a non-achiever.
 
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that just had 4 of us cracking up!

"Slow is smooth, Smooth is fast"
#313
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post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 12-03-2009, 10:44 AM
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post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 12-03-2009, 10:44 AM
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Funny but old.

Ian
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post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 12-03-2009, 10:45 AM
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the midget one always gets me even though I've read that before
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post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 12-03-2009, 10:45 AM Thread Starter
Grid Marshall.
 
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I figured it had been around, but that's first I've seen of it

Tom

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tacitus
In a state where corruption abounds, laws must be very numerous.
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post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 12-03-2009, 11:09 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stumbl1 View Post
the midget one always gets me even though I've read that before
why? were you the midget?

<---- Useless Mufugga
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post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 12-03-2009, 11:20 AM
a hollow voice says plugh
 
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We got that in paper form when I worked for Lufthansa in the mid-late '90s. Still funny.
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post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 12-03-2009, 11:36 AM
Raging lunar zoomonkey
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chunk View Post
why? were you the midget?
Na I just get this mental picture of depressed midget without a hammer.
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