The Tiger Jokes Have Begun - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 11 (permalink) Old 12-04-2009, 10:50 AM Thread Starter
Bug
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The Tiger Jokes Have Begun

Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a
hole in one.

What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball
400 yards.

Tiger Woods wasn't seriously injured in the crash, but he's still below par..

What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They
went clubbing

Ping just offered Elin Woods an endorsement contract pushing her own set of
drivers. They said to named Elin Woods..."clubs you can beat Tiger with."

Tiger just changed his nickname but still kept it in the cat family--his new
name?: Cheetah

Since Tiger drives an Escalade, can he blame the accident on his caddy?

Hello Mister Woods this is the On Star operator we have detected that an
angry person has put a golf club through your window, we are contacting
Nike for a replacement club.

Heck who amongst us doesn't hear a car crash and immediately grab the
closest golf club we can find??!!!

and my personal favorite..................

Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn't decide
between a wood and an iron.

"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming WOW, what a RIDE !!"
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post #2 of 11 (permalink) Old 12-04-2009, 10:51 AM
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post #3 of 11 (permalink) Old 12-04-2009, 10:52 AM
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post #4 of 11 (permalink) Old 12-04-2009, 10:57 AM
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That was a good work laugh. I shall now use them at the bar and be cool.

You wanna see my itinerary?
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post #5 of 11 (permalink) Old 12-04-2009, 11:00 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GIZMO View Post
I shall now use them at the bar and be cool.
That's kinda asking a lot form the jokes, no?

"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming WOW, what a RIDE !!"
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post #6 of 11 (permalink) Old 12-04-2009, 12:07 PM
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Difference between Tiger's car and his wife?? The white air bag in the car didn't blow up and hit him in the face.

I don't ride, I cook!
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post #7 of 11 (permalink) Old 12-04-2009, 12:11 PM
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Tiger, the Lion Cheetah.

Everyone Exaggerates

We're being taken for a ride... agaaaaaaain.....


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post #8 of 11 (permalink) Old 12-04-2009, 12:56 PM
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when the police asked his wife "how many times did you hit him?" she replied "i dont remember, put me down for a 5"

-Mopar

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post #9 of 11 (permalink) Old 12-04-2009, 09:17 PM
U-P-G-R-A-Y-E-D-D
 
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my favorite
Quote:
What does Tiger have in common with a baby seal? They’ve both been clubbed by a Norwegian.
the rest of the email.
Quote:
Apparently the police asked Tiger’s wife how many times she hit him. She said “I don’t know exactly, but put me down for a 5.”

Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole-in-one.

What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.

What was Elin doing out at 2.30 in the morning? Clubbing

Why did Tiger crashed into a fire hydrant AND a tree? He couldn’t decide between a wood and an iron.

Why did Phil Mickelson call Elin yesterday? To pick up some tips on how to beat Tiger.

What is the penalty for getting it in the wrong hole? Ask Tiger, he knows.

Tiger drives very well on the fairway but doesn’t fare very well on the driveway.

Whats the difference between a golf ball and a caddy? Tiger can drive a golf ball.

Nike wants to drop their endorsement due to accuracy problems. Apparently, Tiger’s spraying his balls everywhere.

It turns out that fixing Tiger’s game and fixing his marriage both require the same thing: better control over his putz. 



Why was Tiger’s wife mad at him? She heard that he played a-round in Australia .

What will the headline be if they prove it is domestic violence? TIGER’S WIFE MAKES THE CUT

Given Tiger’s racial heritage can we call this a Black Thai affair?

Tiger just changed his nickname but still kept it in the cat family. Cheetah.

Elin Woods has a twin sister named Josephine. Know how to tell them apart? Elin is the one holding the bent 5 iron.

First words spoken to the paramedics by Tiger: Who are you? And what are all these trees doing in my living room?

Tiger Wood’s shirt is all red- problem is, there’s no tournament, and his veins are a pint low.

What does Tiger have in common with a baby seal? They’ve both been clubbed by a Norwegian.

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post #10 of 11 (permalink) Old 12-04-2009, 09:22 PM
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This guy approves.

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paul View Post
Our life is a non-stop ride to our death.
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post #11 of 11 (permalink) Old 12-06-2009, 11:08 PM Thread Starter
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Love it
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"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming WOW, what a RIDE !!"
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