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post #1 of 13 (permalink) Old 12-18-2009, 08:45 AM Thread Starter
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Men!

>>> One day my housework-challenged husband
>>> decided to wash his Sweatshirt
>>> Seconds after he stepped
>>> into the laundry room,
>>> he shouted to me,
>>> 'What setting do I use on the
>>> washing machine?'
>>> 'It depends,' I replied.
>>> 'What does it say on your shirt?'
>>> He yelled back, ' GO GATORS! '
>>> And they say
>>> blondes are dumb....
>>> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ------->>> A couple is lying
>>> in bed. The man says,
>>> 'I am going to make
>>> you the happiest woman in the world...'
>>> The woman replies,
>>> 'I'll miss you.......
>>> ------------ --------- -------
>>> 'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,'
>>> Jack says as he stepped out of the shower.
>>> 'Honey, what do you think the
>>> neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
>>> 'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
>>> ------------ --------- --------- --------- ----
>>> Q: What do you call
>>> an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
>>> A: A rumor
>>> ------------ --------- --------- --------- ----
>>> Dear Lord,
>>> I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
>>> Love to forgive him;
>>> and Patience for his moods.
>>> Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,
>>> I'll beat him to death.
>>> AMEN
>>> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
>>> --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------
>>>
>>>
>>> Q: Why do little boys whine?
>>> A: They are practicing to be
>>> men.
>>> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
>>> Q: What do you
>>> call a handcuffed man?
>>> A: Trustworthy. .
>>> ------------ --------- --------- --------- ------
>>> Q: What does it
>>> mean when a man is in your bed gasping
>>> for breath and calling your name?
>>> A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
>>> ------------ --------- --------- --------- ---
>>> Q: Why do men whistle when they
>>> are sitting on the toilet?
>>> A: It helps them remember which end to wipe..
>>> ------------ --------- --------- --------- ----
>>> Q: How do you
>>> keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
>>> A: Rename the
>>> email folder 'Instruction Manuals'





My Dad actually emailed this to me. It was a chain letter he received which asks it's recipients to ...
>>> Send this to at least five bright,
>>> funny women you know and make their day! And send this to five
>>> bright men who have enough sense of humor to take it!



Glad my Marcus is nothing like this!

Last edited by kblack; 12-18-2009 at 08:59 AM.
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post #2 of 13 (permalink) Old 12-18-2009, 08:50 AM
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I am noticing a pattern here lately with you Kelly, and your timeline seems to be off. The men bashing officially starts in the second year of marriage. You're a little early.

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post #3 of 13 (permalink) Old 12-18-2009, 08:52 AM Thread Starter
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I was thinking about that when I posted this. It's really just a coincidence. I don't often get these joke email chain things, but I've gotten them twice this week.
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post #4 of 13 (permalink) Old 12-18-2009, 08:56 AM
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all you have to add to them is "Glad my Marcus is nothing like this"

===========
Great Quote - One would think that the Secret Service was smart enough to get serviced secretly.

MotoVid hasbeen
NESBA hasbeen

CCS neverbeen
WERA neverbeen
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post #5 of 13 (permalink) Old 12-18-2009, 08:57 AM
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Be glad you get these kinds. My dad sends me political crap every day, and they are like 4 pages long! (delete)

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post #6 of 13 (permalink) Old 12-18-2009, 08:57 AM
C2M
ǝɹoɯʎuɐ ʞɔnɟ ɐ sǝʌıƃ oɥʍ
 
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Quote:
>>> One day my housework-challenged husband
>>> decided to wash his Sweatshirt
>>> Seconds after he stepped
>>> into the laundry room,
>>> he shouted to me,
>>> 'What setting do I use on the
>>> washing machine?'
>>> 'It depends,' I replied.
>>> 'What does it say on your shirt?'
>>> He yelled back, ' GO GATORS! '
>>> And they say
>>> blondes are dumb....
Actually this one isnt a fail she asked what does it say on your shirt rather then what does the tag say in the shirt.

go time traveler style and go back in time, fuck his grandma, then shoot forward in time and then fuck his mom. Then return back to present state and call him a the product of two incest whores and hes your son and show video of you plowing the both members of his family. .
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post #7 of 13 (permalink) Old 12-18-2009, 08:58 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wink View Post
all you have to add to them is "Glad my Marcus is nothing like this"

Ahhh. Gotcha.

Thanks!
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post #8 of 13 (permalink) Old 12-18-2009, 09:11 AM
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Thanks for the Friday morning laugh!

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

R.I.P. Ashwin
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post #9 of 13 (permalink) Old 12-18-2009, 09:12 AM
Mmmmmm....
 
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I wish my dad would send shit like this to me. Instead he sends me pics of new single male employees and profile's from dating websites that he thinks I'd be interested in.

These are funny though. Men are RAtarded.

Sometimes your knight in shining armor is just a retard wrapped in tin foil.
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post #10 of 13 (permalink) Old 12-18-2009, 09:14 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by C2M View Post
Actually this one isnt a fail she asked what does it say on your shirt rather then what does the tag say in the shirt.

I'm not short. I'm aerodynamically efficient.

Anti Helmet Laws Pro Darwinism
MotoGP 200 mph no roll cage
NESBA # 599
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post #11 of 13 (permalink) Old 12-18-2009, 04:31 PM
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Quit posting jokes, the sammiches arent gonna make themselves. LOL




HDTony.... Damn glad to meet you!

Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.

- Ronald Reagan

AirTek Heating & Air inc.
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post #12 of 13 (permalink) Old 12-18-2009, 05:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DJ Diddles View Post
I wish my dad would send shit like this to me. Instead he sends me pics of new single male employees and profile's from dating websites that he thinks I'd be interested in.

These are funny though. Men are RAtarded.
Send your dad some statistics on internet serial killers, pedophiles and rapists.
It should cure that strange urge to hook you up in no time!

13 Street Triple 675- Bluebarry
09 Ninja 250r- track



Resident Lube Expert.
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post #13 of 13 (permalink) Old 12-18-2009, 08:28 PM
PIKUACH NEFESH
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DJ Diddles View Post
I wish my dad would send shit like this to me. Instead he sends me pics of new single male employees and profile's from dating websites that he thinks I'd be interested in.

These are funny though. Men are RAtarded.
Yes , and all women are rocket scientists.

MOTO AND MOTOR
1906 TECHNY RD.
NORTHBROOK IL 60062

SALES*SERVICE*PARTS
847-790-4848
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