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post #1 of 24 (permalink) Old 01-04-2010, 02:36 PM Thread Starter
Orgynizer
 
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Girls Trip

Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect girl’s getaway trip - shopping, casinos, massages, facials.

Two days before the group is to leave Mary's husband puts his foot down and tells her she isn't going.

Mary's friends are very upset that she can't go, but what can they do?

Two days later the three get to the hotel only to find Mary sitting in the bar drinking a glass of wine...

"Wow, how long you been here and how did you talk your husband into letting you go?"

"Well, I've been here since last night....... ..... Yesterday evening I was sitting on the couch and my husband came up behind me and put his hands over my eyes and said 'Guess who'?"

I pulled his hands off to find all he was wearing was his birthday suit.

He took my hand and lead me to our bedroom. The room was scented with perfume, had two dozen candles and rose petals all over........ ....On the bed he had handcuffs and ropes! He told me to tie and cuff him to the bed, so I did. And then he said, "Now, you can do whatever you want."

So here I am.

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post #2 of 24 (permalink) Old 01-04-2010, 03:40 PM
Mac
 
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That was FUNNY!!!!!!
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post #3 of 24 (permalink) Old 01-04-2010, 03:42 PM
I am the Stig.
 
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post #4 of 24 (permalink) Old 01-04-2010, 03:47 PM
Certified TRACK WHORE
 
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post #5 of 24 (permalink) Old 01-04-2010, 03:50 PM
Bek
Your Cigar Aficionado
 
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If you had to substitute CLSB members for "Mary," who would it be?

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post #6 of 24 (permalink) Old 01-04-2010, 03:57 PM
Infectious Human Waste
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bek View Post
If you had to substitute CLSB members for "Mary," who would it be?

I got an idea but it would have ended with, i broke everything in his house and poor water on his electronics.

Even heroes know when to be scared.
..As I shifted into 6th, I forgot every f'in thing she said..
Im a fuel injected suicide machine!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Criminalgrrl View Post
I'd let him pee in my butt
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post #7 of 24 (permalink) Old 01-04-2010, 04:57 PM
pfft.
 
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awesome!!
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post #8 of 24 (permalink) Old 01-04-2010, 05:26 PM
Clever Girl
 
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What a bitch!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Noodles View Post
Noodles accepts no liability for the content of this post, or for the consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the information provided, unless that information is subsequently confirmed in writing. Any views or opinions presented in this post are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of Noodles.
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post #9 of 24 (permalink) Old 01-04-2010, 05:37 PM
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its funny cause she handcuffed him to the bed and left for the trip so hes stuck there and couldnt stop her.

Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest - Denis Diderot
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post #10 of 24 (permalink) Old 01-04-2010, 05:49 PM
Armed law abiding citizen
 
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I think he was the real winner, not having to deal with her for the weekend.
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post #11 of 24 (permalink) Old 01-04-2010, 05:51 PM
The Benchwarmer
 
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she is woman, hear her roar.

Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest - Denis Diderot
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post #12 of 24 (permalink) Old 01-04-2010, 08:28 PM
Registered User
 
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interesting way to spin it...

Deer Camp

Four guys have been going to the same deer camp for many years. Two days
before the group is to leave, Frank's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going. Frank's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do.

Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Frank sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the fire.

"Damn man, how long you been here, and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?"

"Well, I've been here since yesterday. Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said, 'Guess who?'" I pulled her hands off, and she was wearing a brand
new see through nightie. She took my hand and pulled me to our bedroom.
The room had candles and rose petals all over. On the bed she had
handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed, and I did."

"And then she said, 'Do what ever you want.'"

"So, here I am."

Mike

When the tailgate drops..the bullshit stops
Hunt ethically - Hunt with a trained Retriever !
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post #13 of 24 (permalink) Old 01-04-2010, 09:24 PM
Registered User
 
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I can see my wife doing that to me, that is leaving me tied to the bed.

Jon
MSF Instructor


<---- Useless

Always Stand For What You Believe In... Even If Means You Stand Alone...
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post #14 of 24 (permalink) Old 01-04-2010, 09:29 PM
Guns prevent pollution
 
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^^^ Read that somewhere before also. Thought it was a repost but I can't find it so I guess not.

- Will

"Knowledge is Power. Power Corrupts. Study Hard. Be Evil."

Quote:
Originally Posted by Paul View Post
Our life is a non-stop ride to our death.
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post #15 of 24 (permalink) Old 01-04-2010, 09:35 PM
The Benchwarmer
 
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every joke has already been told, the story just changes. purple monkey dishwasher.

Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest - Denis Diderot
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post #16 of 24 (permalink) Old 01-04-2010, 09:37 PM Thread Starter
Orgynizer
 
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Join Date: Jun 2006
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Who pissed in your cheerio's....geeez
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post #17 of 24 (permalink) Old 01-04-2010, 09:41 PM
The Benchwarmer
 
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my dad, but in his defense he was drunk.

Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest - Denis Diderot
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post #18 of 24 (permalink) Old 01-04-2010, 09:48 PM
Guns prevent pollution
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Evil Twin View Post
Who pissed in your cheerio's....geeez
No body pissed in them, I just ran out this morning.

- Will

"Knowledge is Power. Power Corrupts. Study Hard. Be Evil."

Quote:
Originally Posted by Paul View Post
Our life is a non-stop ride to our death.
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post #19 of 24 (permalink) Old 01-04-2010, 09:50 PM Thread Starter
Orgynizer
 
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Now I want a bowl of cheerios!!!
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post #20 of 24 (permalink) Old 01-04-2010, 09:52 PM
Clever Girl
 
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Now I gotta pee

Quote:
Originally Posted by Noodles View Post
Noodles accepts no liability for the content of this post, or for the consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the information provided, unless that information is subsequently confirmed in writing. Any views or opinions presented in this post are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of Noodles.
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post #21 of 24 (permalink) Old 01-04-2010, 09:59 PM
The Benchwarmer
 
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cheerios are tasteless cardboard circles. piss would add taste to em.

Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest - Denis Diderot
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post #22 of 24 (permalink) Old 01-05-2010, 06:42 AM
b boy on his k3 liter
 
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LOL. i can't stop laughing.

b boy
03 Gsxr 1000
00 TL 1000R
USAF
USAFHG
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post #23 of 24 (permalink) Old 01-05-2010, 07:54 PM
Boo boo kitty fuck
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by catwlights View Post
Im bringing my gym shoes so I can surf the roof.....



ooooooo. I need a cape.
Sometimes you're the bug...sometimes you're the windshield
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post #24 of 24 (permalink) Old 01-05-2010, 10:12 PM
CLSB's Jesus Lover
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by burntash View Post
purple monkey dishwasher.
tee hee
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