Ditka. The One True God. - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 13 (permalink) Old 07-14-2006, 01:32 PM Thread Starter
 
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Ditka. The One True God.

He's going to be on Monday nights now...

NFL | ESPN shuffles NFL coverage
Thu, 13 Jul 2006 18:32:15 -0700

Barry Jackson, of the Miami Herald, reports ESPN confirmed this week that after an 18-year run on Sunday evenings, NFL Prime Time will move to 6 p.m. Mondays and feature a new cast (Stuart Scott, Ron Jaworski and Mike Ditka). ESPN will have Chris Berman and Tom Jackson narrate highlights on the 90-minute Sports Center at 11 p.m. Sunday evenings. Berman and Jackson then will join Michael Irvin, Steve Young and Chris Mortensen on ESPN's Monday Night Football 90-minute pregame show at 7 p.m.
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post #2 of 13 (permalink) Old 07-14-2006, 01:38 PM
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Ditka is a god But so are Berman and Jackson... i love there recaps show... I love the music they have on it

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post #3 of 13 (permalink) Old 07-14-2006, 02:05 PM
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who would win in a fight? Dikta or God? HA trick question.. Dikta is a god.

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post #4 of 13 (permalink) Old 07-14-2006, 02:08 PM
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Just watched a Superfans clip from yesterday

"what if it was Ditka vs. a hurricane, only the hurricane was called 'Hurricane Ditka'? "

Tom

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tacitus
In a state where corruption abounds, laws must be very numerous.
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post #5 of 13 (permalink) Old 07-14-2006, 04:54 PM Thread Starter
 
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I'm going to have to pull out my old "Hey McCaskey! Suck my Ditka!" T-shirt....
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post #6 of 13 (permalink) Old 07-14-2006, 05:09 PM
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"See this (pinching fingers together), that's your IQ...you're a MORON!!"

man i love Ditka

Tom

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tacitus
In a state where corruption abounds, laws must be very numerous.
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post #7 of 13 (permalink) Old 07-14-2006, 05:53 PM
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the unofficial mayor of Chicago Ditka is the man




HDTony.... Damn glad to meet you!

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post #8 of 13 (permalink) Old 07-14-2006, 05:56 PM
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Daaaaaaaaaaaaaa Bulls da bulls da bulls da bulls da bulls


Tom

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tacitus
In a state where corruption abounds, laws must be very numerous.
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post #9 of 13 (permalink) Old 07-14-2006, 08:58 PM Thread Starter
 
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[ open on exterior, Ditka's Restaurant ]

[ dissolve to the Round Table, where Bill Swerski and his Chicago Bears Super Fan friends sit, surroundsed by polish sausange and bratwurst ]

Bill Swerski: Good afternoon, my friends, and welcome to "Bill Swerski's Super Fans"! I'm Bill Swerski, and with me, as always, are the Super Fans: Pat Arnold..

Pat Arnold: Hey, Bill.

Bill Swerski: ..Todd O'Conner..

Todd O'Conner: [ while chewing his food ] Bill.

Bill Swerski: ..and Carl Wollarski.

Carl Wollarski: How ya' doing, Bill?

Bill Swerski: Alright, we're talking here, live from Ditka's, in the heart of Chicago, Illinois. The city of big shoulders, and home, of course, to a certain football team, which has carved out a special place in the pantheon of professional football greats. That team, which is known the world over, as.. Da Bears!

Superfans: Da Bears!!

Bill Swerski: Okay. Okay, by my watch, we're about thirteen minutes from game time. As you are sure aware, Da Bears are getting ready for the big play-off against Da New York Giants. Now, let go around the room for some predictions. Pat?

Pat Arnold: Da Bears, 62 to 3.

Bill Swerski: Okay. Todd.

Todd O'Conner: Bears. 79-zip.

Bill Swerski: Oh, really? You don't think that Da Giants will score?

Todd O'Conner: No, I do not! Da Bears defense is like a wall. You can't go through it!

Bill Swerski: Alright. How about you, Carl?

Carl Wollarski: I say Bears, 52 to 14.

Pat Arnold: Oh, what? Come on!

Carl Wollarski: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I gotta give Da Giants credit - I think they'll give Da Bears a game!

Bill Swerski: Alright, leave him alone, that's his prerogative! As for my prediction.. at game's end, uh.. there won't be two teams of contrasting moods heading off da field, my friends. One gloom, one gleeful. The gleeful, of which be.. Da Bears!

Superfans: Da Bears!!

Bill Swerski: 74 to 2! I mean, after all, our civic pride is on the line. Because, let's face it, if New York were to somehow beat Chicago, we'd never hear the end of it.

Todd O'Conner: Aw, they would love it over there!

Bill Swerski: You know, it's absurd, really, that we would even have to waste our time comparing ourselves to that crime-ridden rathole!

Carl Wollarski: Absolutely!

Bill Swerski: I mean, for example, which building would you rather have - the Empire State Building, or Da Sears Tower? Pat?

Pat Arnold: Sears.

Bill Swerski: Carl?

Carl Wollarski: Sears is taller.

Bill Swerski: Todd?

Todd O'Conner: Sears.

Carl Wollarski: Sears!

Superfans: Da Sears!!

Bill Swerski: Alright, alright! Now, let me shift gears here for a moment. What is God's role in this? Obviously, he's rooting for Da Bears.

Pat Arnold: Otherwise, he wouldn't have put 'em in Chicago.

Carl Wollarski: That's right.

Bill Swerski: That's right. Da question is: Now, did God create Da Bears, and make them superior to all teams? Or is he simply a huge fan, and Ditka made them superior to all other teams?

Carl Wollarski: That's a tough one.

[ Waitress interrupts ]

Waitress: Alright, guys, here's your food. Who had da bratwurst?

Pat Arnold: I had da bratwurst.

Waitress: Alright. Bratwurst. [ places down tray ]

Carl Wollarski: I had da Polish sausage!

Todd O'Conner: I ordered a knockwurst and pork chops!

Bill Swerski: Yeah.. please, next time, bring da food during da commercials, darling, alright?

Waitress: Just doing my job.

Bill Swerski: Yeah, alright.

[ Waitress exits ]

Todd O'Conner: Could you pass the ketchup?

Bill Swerski: Okay, well.. I see now that it's almost time for the foregone conclusion that is today's game.

Pat Arnold; Not gonna be pretty!

Todd O'Conner: Bears!

Superfans: Bears!!

Bill Swerski: Now, gentlemen, let me ask you this: What if Da Bears were all 14 inches tall, you know, about so high? Now, what's your score of today's game?

Carl Wollarski: Against Da Giants?

Bill Swerski: Yes, give 'em a handicap.

Carl Wollarski: Bears 18, Giants 10. And that would finally be a good game.

Pat Arnold: Yeah, it would be a good game. Mini Bears 24, Giants 14.

Todd O'Conner: What about Ditka? Would he be mini, too?

Bill Swerski: No, he would be full-grown.

Todd O'Conner: Oh, then, uh.. Mini Bears 31, Giants 7.

Carl Wollarski: Oh, hold on. Then I change mine, too. I thought it was Mini Ditka.

Bill Swerski: Okay, gentlemen, another scenario: Da Bears, they don't make it, the plane is delayed.. and the only one who shows up is Ditka. Ditka vs. Da Giants. Okay, score, gentlemen.

Pat Arnold: Alright, after da heart attack, I gotta say Ditka 17, Giants 14. He just barely gets by.

Bill Swerski: Alright, that sounds exciting. Perhaps, you know, a late Ditka field goal.

Todd O'Conner: Bears!

Superfans: Bears!!

[ Danny Sheridan enters round table discussion ]

Bill Swerski: Hey! As you fans know, sports celebrities like to frequent Ditka's. And oddsmaker Danny Sheridan has just sat down with us. Now, Danny.. what would the point spread be for a game like that? Ditka vs. Da Giants. Now, remember, it's only Ditka, not the regular Bears team.

Danny Sheridan: Okay. I'm gonna say the Giants by about.. [ thinking ] ..800.

Bill Swerski: Great, Danny. Now, are you from New York?

Carl Wollarski: He lives in New York, eh, Pat?

Bill Swerski: You like it there. You can stay there, as far as I'm concerned.

Danny Sheridan: No, it's just that.. it's one guy, you know-

Bill Swerski: Yeah, that's alright. Just take your crack pipe and go home! Get outta here, Danny!

Todd O'Conner: Yeah, go shoot somebody with a gun!

[ Danny Sheridan exits the room ]

Bill Swerski: Alright, now let's get back to our discussion. Bears vs. the Assembled Choir of Heavenly Angels.

Pat Arnold: The whole choir?

Bill Swerski: Well, Saraphone, Jerebone - the whole nine yards.

Pat Arnold: Angels.

Carl Wollarski: Angels, but it's close.

Todd O'Conner: Bears!

Bill Swerski: Alright. Ditka vs. God in a golf match. Now, he's a good golfer.

Pat Arnold: Ditka.

Todd O'Conner: Dit-ka!

Carl Wollarski: Ditka.

Bill Swerski: Well, I see they're setting up the 40-foot screen, so I guess it's game time. Now, you enjoy the game, folks. Now, remember, next week - Bears-Niners. Alright, now Bears vs Stephen Douglas in a debate, what do you think?

Superfans: Da Bears!! Da Bears!
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post #10 of 13 (permalink) Old 07-14-2006, 09:13 PM
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i call this one the Ditka thinker.


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Last edited by MoparBoyy; 07-14-2006 at 09:18 PM.
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post #11 of 13 (permalink) Old 07-14-2006, 09:18 PM
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all this Ditka talk makes me hungry... o yeah and i had to change my avatar

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post #12 of 13 (permalink) Old 07-14-2006, 11:30 PM Thread Starter
 
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Flinchy Aprroves!
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post #13 of 13 (permalink) Old 07-14-2006, 11:45 PM
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this is my favorite Ditka picture

"There are no men more ignoble or more foolish, no men whose actions are fraught with greater possibility of mischief to their country and to mankind, than those who exalt unrighteous peace as better than righteous war." - Theodore Roosevelt
"I will bleed on the flag to keep the stripes red!"
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