Annual GTFO of the gym rant.... - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 44 (permalink) Old 01-04-2011, 09:58 AM Thread Starter
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Annual GTFO of the gym rant....

Well its that time of year again, the jolly time when a bunch of delusional people decide that the first of January is a good time to clog up the gyms in a vain attempt to fill some sort of self-improvement hole in their lives. They fill up the parking lots, fill up the exercise equipment, fill up the locker rooms, and just generally clog everything up.

I SOOOO wish these jerkoffs would just realize that they are fooling themselves and are going to quit in a month or two anyway and just stay the f*ck out of the gym. Quit taking up space and getting in the way! Go back to the couch where you are going to be anyway!



Ok, I feel much better now.

Never a bad time to climb... unless the weather is really horrible, and then you climb inside!

I bleed GREEN
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post #2 of 44 (permalink) Old 01-04-2011, 10:00 AM
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Just leave a few dozen donuts at the front desk next time. That'll divert the NY Resolutioners.
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post #3 of 44 (permalink) Old 01-04-2011, 10:01 AM
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Yep, PACKED last night. Although most of them seem to stay out of the free weight area so it wasn't too bad.

Tom

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tacitus
In a state where corruption abounds, laws must be very numerous.
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post #4 of 44 (permalink) Old 01-04-2011, 10:02 AM
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post #5 of 44 (permalink) Old 01-04-2011, 10:03 AM
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That graphic is misleading...blow drying of nuts happens in the washroom with a side turned hand dryer.



Tom

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tacitus
In a state where corruption abounds, laws must be very numerous.
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post #6 of 44 (permalink) Old 01-04-2011, 10:04 AM
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We have both hand held hair dryers and bathroom hand dryers, and I assure you both are used for ball use by old dudes.

Chris
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post #7 of 44 (permalink) Old 01-04-2011, 10:05 AM Thread Starter
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Yeah, the old bastards do that at the Warrenville LTF, too.

Never a bad time to climb... unless the weather is really horrible, and then you climb inside!

I bleed GREEN
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post #8 of 44 (permalink) Old 01-04-2011, 10:06 AM
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I always weigh myself nude and wet from the shower...when you're slightly overweight and old, every ounce counts!

Tom

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tacitus
In a state where corruption abounds, laws must be very numerous.
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post #9 of 44 (permalink) Old 01-04-2011, 10:24 AM
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post #10 of 44 (permalink) Old 01-04-2011, 10:26 AM
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Quote:
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We have both hand held hair dryers and bathroom hand dryers, and I assure you both are used for ball use by old dudes.
Aren't you an old dude?

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post #11 of 44 (permalink) Old 01-04-2011, 10:26 AM
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The gym was full of resolutioners in brand new gear yesterday. I had to wait to use the pool. That almost never happens. Fuckin resolutioner motherfuckers. If you have to wait until the beginning of the year to make a change in your self then you are setting yourself up for failure.

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image v. substance. Some people want to be motorcyclists, others just want to be seen as motorcyclists.
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post #12 of 44 (permalink) Old 01-04-2011, 10:26 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chills View Post
Yeah, the old bastards do that at the Warrenville LTF, too.
were you teaching there last night?

-Jason
CCS AM #31

Last edited by Pilotx1; 01-04-2011 at 11:26 AM.
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post #13 of 44 (permalink) Old 01-04-2011, 10:28 AM
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every gym needs to implement separate locker areas for old naked dudes.

<---- Useless Mufugga
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post #14 of 44 (permalink) Old 01-04-2011, 10:31 AM
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I swim at Delnor Wellness Center, which has a normal pool and a geriatric rehab pool. Even in the normal pool there is this motorized seat thingy which lifts old crusty people into the pool to swim. I am by far the youngest dude in the locker room.

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post #15 of 44 (permalink) Old 01-04-2011, 10:33 AM
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It always freaks me out when I see obese people in the pool. I have this fear that obese old people shit and piss in the pool.

<---- Useless Mufugga
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post #16 of 44 (permalink) Old 01-04-2011, 10:34 AM
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That's because they do. And they breathe heavy and smell.

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post #17 of 44 (permalink) Old 01-04-2011, 10:37 AM
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That's because they do. And they breathe heavy and smell.
man I'm serious! Whenever I see something strange floating in the pool, I think fucking fat old people!

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post #18 of 44 (permalink) Old 01-04-2011, 10:39 AM
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I was at your VE climbing gym over Christmas break and it was a MADHOUSE. Think it was kid's half price day because there were a 300 little monkeys all over the place.

BTW, I left you a little note at the top of the toughest run.
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post #19 of 44 (permalink) Old 01-04-2011, 10:41 AM
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In cycling class, these guys were telling a story about this tri chick that was swimming with them, and after a while she was sitting on the side of the pool in the gutter just sitting there. Somebody asked what she was doing, and she said "I'm not walking all the way to the bathroom just to pee!".

Good news is that if you plan on doing the IL Xterra race, you can train in Muff's shitter, because I'm pretty sure it is cleaner than the nasty ass culvert we swam in.

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post #20 of 44 (permalink) Old 01-04-2011, 10:46 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kruz View Post
I was at your VE climbing gym over Christmas break and it was a MADHOUSE. Think it was kid's half price day because there were a 300 little monkeys all over the place.

BTW, I left you a little note at the top of the toughest run.
I know which route you're referring to, that 13a is a real b*tch. I'll try to run it tonight to find your note.

VE is packed during Christmas Break. Thankfully most of the rugrats stay upstairs on the Auto-belays.

What else did you climb besides that 13a?

Never a bad time to climb... unless the weather is really horrible, and then you climb inside!

I bleed GREEN
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post #21 of 44 (permalink) Old 01-04-2011, 10:54 AM
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I joined before the holidays to avoid the rush. I have brand new gear, but I go before work so it is not too busy. Thanks for the blow drier tip, will try it out tomorrow.

Greg

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post #22 of 44 (permalink) Old 01-04-2011, 10:54 AM
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post #23 of 44 (permalink) Old 01-04-2011, 11:00 AM
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VE was busy last night too with a class or something, and the autobelay side was a ghost town lol.

-Jason
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post #24 of 44 (permalink) Old 01-04-2011, 11:05 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pilotx1 View Post
VE was busy last night too with a class or something, and the autobelay side was a ghost town lol.
Where were you at VE? I was the one teaching the class downstairs.

Never a bad time to climb... unless the weather is really horrible, and then you climb inside!

I bleed GREEN
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post #25 of 44 (permalink) Old 01-04-2011, 11:11 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chills View Post
Where were you at VE? I was the one teaching the class downstairs.
i did 2 easy routes on autobelay around 7

spent the rest of the night downstairs on the 5.9s, I was climbing with jeff chen mostly

-Jason
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post #26 of 44 (permalink) Old 01-04-2011, 11:13 AM
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BUT...new members means a new group of women with low self-esteem ripe for the picking. Once you bang 'em in the "family" changing room at the pool they'll quit working out and the gym will empty. You should have the gym cleared out by Valentine's Day.

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post #27 of 44 (permalink) Old 01-04-2011, 11:24 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pilotx1 View Post
were you teaching there last night?
Nah...I'm in no way qualified to teach much of anything. Though I can represent in the locker room!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chicago Performance View Post
I swim at Delnor Wellness Center, which has a normal pool and a geriatric rehab pool. Even in the normal pool there is this motorized seat thingy which lifts old crusty people into the pool to swim. I am by far the youngest dude in the locker room.
Kiss ass dude! Those motorized lifts are awesome for broken leg guys.

Tom

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tacitus
In a state where corruption abounds, laws must be very numerous.
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post #28 of 44 (permalink) Old 01-04-2011, 11:50 AM
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im with ya chills

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post #29 of 44 (permalink) Old 01-04-2011, 12:02 PM
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Quote:
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That graphic is misleading...blow drying of nuts happens in the washroom with a side turned hand dryer.


Wait, wat?

Seriously?

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post #30 of 44 (permalink) Old 01-04-2011, 12:02 PM
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Try xsport.....Nice gym, but come resolutionar season it gets packed to the point that people start parking at the starbucks about 1/4 mile away (connected to the same access road to the gym), except instead of clearing out by early march it usually last till mid april, last year was as late as june.

Now for VE, i havent been there in ages, thanks for the reminder guys i need to go back, Who wants to teach me to Belay so im not stuck on the kiddy runs

Everyone needs a healthy way to relax, mine Church, and two wheels, a stretch of winding road, and a pipe loud enough to give me headaches and make squirrels explode. (Fixed curtousey of PWRMAD)

Nothing is impossible the second we say ill try your already admiting you can be defeated, and the second you say i cant or its to hard youve already failed.
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