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things you learn from porn

679 views 25 replies 13 participants last post by  Loki_D_Wolf 
#1 ·
Things you learn from watching porn.....


1. Women wear high heels to bed.

2. Men are never impotent.

3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than
satisfactory.

4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.

5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.

6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.

7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.

8. Women always orgasm when men do.

9. A blowjob will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.

10. All women are noisy fucks.

11. People in the 70s couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar
solo in the background.

12. Those tits are real.

13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take
his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.

14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.

15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other. (and the
girl isn't disgusted!)

16. Double penetration makes women smile.

17. Asian men don't exist.

18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the
bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of
you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.

19. There's a plot.

20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a
woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.

21. Nurses suck patient's cocks.

22. Men always pull out.

23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best
friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the
both of you.

24. Women never have headaches... or periods.

25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him
to remind her to "suck it".

26. Assholes are clean.

27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for
all parties concerned.

28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a
man's trousers and find a cock there.

29. Men don't have to beg.

30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one
hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.
31. Women have an extra clitoris on their sternum that allows them to achieve great excitement when titty-fucked.

32. If she can't take your cock down her throat until her nose penetrates you belly button, the she just ain't trying hard enough.

33. If a woman is laying out by a pool she is compelled to masturbate until A) the poll cleaner arrives, B) her husband/boyfriend/girlfriend and 6 of their pals show up, or C) the neighbors kid falls over the fence with his pants around his ankles as he was whacking away watching.

34. Most black men have a penis that look like a baby's arm holding an apple, the rest look like a toddler holding a grapefruit.

35. There is no such thing as cuddling. Some friendly cockslapping after spackling her eyes shut is about as close as you really want to get anyway.

36. Women love snow-balling each other

37. the sweetest music is the sound of a 20 year old gagging so horribly while blowing you, she sounds like she could empty her stomach at any second. ranks right up there with yanni for a high serenity factor.

38. Four fingers is never enough.

39. the pile-driver. yeah.

40. women fondle and fuck in the most comfortable and natural looking body positions. see #39 for a prime example.
 
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#3 ·
41. Women enjoy sex just as much, if not more, when it is anal and the man is free to switch back and forth as he pleases.
 
#7 ·
lol I've never seen this before. Great find. :cheers

17. Asian men don't exist. :laughing

11. People in the 70s couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar
solo in the background. :laughing
 
#9 ·
jimzx9r said:
Girls love giving blowjobs right after you do them in the ass.

Or women love the taste of their own ass.
 
#11 ·
This thread is getting me kinda horny lol
 
#15 ·
Arch said:
45. Sites like bangbus, MILF hunter, and My Friend's Hot Mom are not staged.. .they are for real!


we can't forget "Fart Hammer" and "Moms teaching teens"
 
#26 · (Edited)
Cinna-Swirl

whiteSeatEnvy said:
Or women love the taste of their own ass.
Hey, knew a girl like that. I called her my "porn star". :1pimp That was many moons ago. HA!

Arch said:
45. Sites like bangbus, MILF hunter, and My Friend's Hot Mom are not staged.. .they are for real!
:spit In my mind they are!

in addition: Black D*cks in White Chicks, My Daughters F*ckin' Blackzilla, My Wife F*ckin' Blackzilla, Anal Heaven, Gangbang MILF, Black and Wild, Anything with Rocco, Baby Got Back, She Got Ass, Onionbooty, PhatBootyHoes, BlackMotherF*ckers, Phat White Booty, Black D*ck Latin Chicks......

I just realized something. I have a lot of porn. :evil
 
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