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post #1 of 37 (permalink) Old 03-24-2010, 01:30 PM Thread Starter
Guns prevent pollution
 
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Allah is the bomb!

So I started doing some reading lately, and this seems like the religion for me. Allah can see everything and knows everything, but when Muslims where on Qatar, they acted a fool like U.S. college kids. Guess cause the island is so small Allah just over looks it?

- Will

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Our life is a non-stop ride to our death.
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post #2 of 37 (permalink) Old 03-24-2010, 01:33 PM
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and you can take child brides and your wife has to walk 10 steps behind you, what could be better?
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post #3 of 37 (permalink) Old 03-24-2010, 01:39 PM Thread Starter
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wait, don't I get to beat my wife if she speaks up against me?

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Our life is a non-stop ride to our death.
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post #4 of 37 (permalink) Old 03-24-2010, 01:43 PM
 
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aren't divorces super easy too?

Just saying I divorce thee 3 times and she's history.
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post #5 of 37 (permalink) Old 03-24-2010, 01:44 PM Thread Starter
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aren't divorces super easy too?

Just saying I divorce thee 3 times and she's history.
Why divorce her? Just make her wear a cover on her head and face. Oh... wait... nevermind.

- Will

"Knowledge is Power. Power Corrupts. Study Hard. Be Evil."

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Our life is a non-stop ride to our death.
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post #6 of 37 (permalink) Old 03-24-2010, 01:44 PM
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..they may be an Al Qaeda operative.

I guess the fuse would be in the nipple?

http://www.foxnews.com/world/2010/03...-experts-warn/

Terrorists Could Use Explosives in Breast Implants to Crash Planes, Experts Warn
The Sun
Plastic surgeons using explosive-laden breast implants in homicide bombers could be a new terror tactic that current airport scanning methods may miss.

Female homicide bombers are being fitted with exploding breast implants which are almost impossible to detect, British spies have reportedly discovered.

The shocking new Al Qaeda tactic involves radical doctors inserting the explosives in women's breasts during plastic surgery — making them "virtually impossible to detect by the usual airport scanning machines."

It is believed the doctors have been trained at some of Britain's leading teaching hospitals before returning to their own countries to perform the surgical procedures.

MI5 has also discovered that extremists are inserting the explosives into the buttocks of some male bombers.

"Women suicide bombers recruited by Al Qaeda are known to have had the explosives inserted in their breasts under techniques similar to breast enhancing surgery," Terrorist expert Joseph Farah claims.


The lethal explosives called PETN are inserted inside plastic shapes during the operation, before the breast is then sewn up.

The discovery of these methods was made after London-educated Nigerian Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab came close to blowing up an airliner in the U.S. on Christmas Day.

He had stuffed explosives inside his underpants.

Hours after he had failed, Britain's intelligence services began to pick up "chatter" emanating from Pakistan and Yemen that alerted MI5 to the creation of the lethal implants.

A hand-picked team investigated the threat which was described as "one that can circumvent our defense."

Top surgeons have confirmed the feasibility of the explosive implants.

Explosive experts allegedly told MI5 that a sachet containing as little as five ounces of PETN could blow "a considerable hole" in an airline's skin, causing it to crash.
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post #7 of 37 (permalink) Old 03-24-2010, 01:47 PM Thread Starter
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"Uhh, ma'am, I'm going to need you to take your shirt and bra off so I can feel your breasts to ensure they are not bombs."

- Will

"Knowledge is Power. Power Corrupts. Study Hard. Be Evil."

Quote:
Originally Posted by Paul View Post
Our life is a non-stop ride to our death.
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post #8 of 37 (permalink) Old 03-24-2010, 01:48 PM Thread Starter
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Wasn't it Larry the Cable Guy who joked about an airport screener finding a womans tampon string hanging out and freaking out cause he thought she was a new underwear bomber?

- Will

"Knowledge is Power. Power Corrupts. Study Hard. Be Evil."

Quote:
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Our life is a non-stop ride to our death.
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post #9 of 37 (permalink) Old 03-24-2010, 01:49 PM
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Is this justification for the new full body scanners? "I'm sorry maam, but those things need further inspection. Can you please jump up and down a little? We can never be too careful."
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post #10 of 37 (permalink) Old 03-24-2010, 01:49 PM
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That's quite disturbing, Steve. I wonder what the women would use to detonate the bomb. Would a "fuse" be sticking through their skin or something?

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post #11 of 37 (permalink) Old 03-24-2010, 01:53 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chills View Post
That's quite disturbing, Steve. I wonder what the women would use to detonate the bomb. Would a "fuse" be sticking through their skin or something?
Titfucking would probably set it off... Talk about an explosive orgasm!

Everyone Exaggerates

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post #12 of 37 (permalink) Old 03-24-2010, 01:53 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
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That's quite disturbing, Steve. I wonder what the women would use to detonate the bomb. Would a "fuse" be sticking through their skin or something?
I would assume high frequency remote control, or a built in altimeter.

- Will

"Knowledge is Power. Power Corrupts. Study Hard. Be Evil."

Quote:
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Our life is a non-stop ride to our death.
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post #13 of 37 (permalink) Old 03-24-2010, 01:54 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Arch View Post
Titfucking would probably set it off... Talk about an explosive orgasm!
Although this is a better answer.
girl: "okay mohammud, time to get hard and tit fuck me."
guy: "already? okay, lean back and here I cum"

- Will

"Knowledge is Power. Power Corrupts. Study Hard. Be Evil."

Quote:
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Our life is a non-stop ride to our death.
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post #14 of 37 (permalink) Old 03-24-2010, 01:57 PM
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So, when it's prayer time, and you're supposed to face in the direction of Mecca, how do you know you're facing the right direction.

Is this based on True North, Grid North, or Magnetic North. Do you take into account the declination diagrams or not? What if your prayer direction is off by a degree or two? This could mean that your prayer could be off by several miles once it traveled the thousands of miles to get there. Do you have to account for the time it takes for your prayer to travel over the ocean, and compensate for the rotation of the earth during the travel time?

And...if Allah knows all, then why doesn't he already know what your going to pray about. Seems a little odd to have to go through the motions like that.

Oh well, enjoy your new religion.

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post #15 of 37 (permalink) Old 03-24-2010, 02:01 PM Thread Starter
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I'm modifying my view of this religion a little. I'm going to pray to a picture of Achmed.


- Will

"Knowledge is Power. Power Corrupts. Study Hard. Be Evil."

Quote:
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Our life is a non-stop ride to our death.
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post #16 of 37 (permalink) Old 03-24-2010, 02:04 PM
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Quote:
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And...if Allah knows all, then why doesn't he already know what your going to pray about. Seems a little odd to have to go through the motions like that.
Santa has the same damned problem... He knows if you've been bad or good... so why even sit on the guy's lap and risk him getting a hard-on ?

Everyone Exaggerates

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post #17 of 37 (permalink) Old 03-24-2010, 02:28 PM
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I can only stand the ignorance for so long. Right now, there are literally millions of Christians in the world using the word Allah to reference their Christian GOD. The word Allah is simply Arabic for the word God. The word has nothing to do with a god that is unique to Islam. But YEAH!!! Let's all piss and hate on the word GOD since the concept doesn't exist under Christianity.

the uncarved stone
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post #18 of 37 (permalink) Old 03-24-2010, 02:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stkr View Post
So, when it's prayer time, and you're supposed to face in the direction of Mecca, how do you know you're facing the right direction.

Is this based on True North, Grid North, or Magnetic North. Do you take into account the declination diagrams or not? What if your prayer direction is off by a degree or two? This could mean that your prayer could be off by several miles once it traveled the thousands of miles to get there. Do you have to account for the time it takes for your prayer to travel over the ocean, and compensate for the rotation of the earth during the travel time?

And...if Allah knows all, then why doesn't he already know what your going to pray about. Seems a little odd to have to go through the motions like that.

Oh well, enjoy your new religion.

Durka! Durka!
There's an iPhone app for that.

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post #19 of 37 (permalink) Old 03-24-2010, 02:35 PM
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Quote:
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I can only stand the ignorance for so long. Right now, there are literally millions of Christians in the world using the word Allah to reference their Christian GOD. The word Allah is simply Arabic for the word God. The word has nothing to do with a god that is unique to Islam. But YEAH!!! Let's all piss and hate on the word GOD since the concept doesn't exist under Christianity.
Reason with idiots and they will bring you down to their level and beat you up. Wrong place, wrong people.

You better be nice to America or we will bring democracy to your country.
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post #20 of 37 (permalink) Old 03-24-2010, 02:36 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rob S Preston, Esq. View Post
There's an iPhone app for that.
Rep

- Will

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Quote:
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Our life is a non-stop ride to our death.
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post #21 of 37 (permalink) Old 03-24-2010, 02:41 PM
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Quote:
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Reason with idiots and they will bring you down to their level and beat you up. Wrong place, wrong people.
stupid idiots
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post #22 of 37 (permalink) Old 03-24-2010, 02:42 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by spoil9 View Post
Rep


but SRSLY, there is:
http://www.macworld.com/appguide/app...1&expand=false

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post #23 of 37 (permalink) Old 03-24-2010, 02:49 PM
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Probably need a 3GS for that.. Mine only has GPS
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post #24 of 37 (permalink) Old 03-24-2010, 02:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rob S Preston, Esq. View Post
What isn't there an app for?

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post #25 of 37 (permalink) Old 03-24-2010, 02:58 PM
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Probably need a 3GS for that.. Mine only has GPS
It uses the built-in compass in the 3GS.

You better be nice to America or we will bring democracy to your country.
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post #26 of 37 (permalink) Old 03-24-2010, 03:05 PM
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Quote:
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It uses the built-in compass in the 3GS.
I figured that's why I sent it.
I didn't bother clicking the link... I don't think even the jesus phone is going to find allah
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post #27 of 37 (permalink) Old 03-24-2010, 03:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rdrash View Post
What isn't there an app for?
...
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post #28 of 37 (permalink) Old 03-24-2010, 03:29 PM
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I don't understand this thread.

teets
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post #29 of 37 (permalink) Old 03-24-2010, 03:50 PM Thread Starter
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I'm just saying that God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy

- Will

"Knowledge is Power. Power Corrupts. Study Hard. Be Evil."

Quote:
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Our life is a non-stop ride to our death.
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post #30 of 37 (permalink) Old 03-24-2010, 03:55 PM
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Are you mocking Muslims? Because I know a nice muslim family that owns a restaurant on devon and a cab company.

Joking aside,

teets
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