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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 08-25-2010, 11:39 AM Thread Starter
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omg toast

dont hold with your left hand....

Pomaire, Chile — By mid-morning, the line was already snaking through the narrow streets of Pomaire, about 85 miles west of Santiago, Chile. Hundreds of people — young and old, locals and foreigners, rich and poor — waited patiently for their turn to see the miracle now known as “The Toast.”

It was just days before that Andrés Alvarez, a local potter, gazed at the French toast his wife Martina had prepared for his breakfast. He couldn’t believe his eyes.

“‘I say to Martina, I know this man,” Alvarez recalls, “this is the famous American computer man. I wonder why he is on my toast.”

The man, of course, is Apple CEO Steve Jobs.

Word of the miracle spread like wildfire on the Internet, and from all over the world, the pilgrimage to the Alvarez kitchen began.

The Vatican, hopeful that the image might actually be that of Jesus, quickly dispatched Special Envoy Adolfo Rizio to the scene. Rizio, however, confirmed that the face is that of Steve Jobs. “Jesus did not wear glasses like these,” he explains.

Andrés Alvarez: "I wonder why he is on my toast."

The story took an unexpected turn yesterday when The Toast was found to have healing powers. Martha Masonowitz, media planner from New York City, reported that the non-functional wi-fi on her iPhone miraculously started working again when she stepped up to The Toast.

Since then, The Toast has been healing maladies in all kinds of Apple devices. In addition to the worshippers drawn to the miracle, many are now arriving with crippled iPhones and iPods, or even lugging defective desktop computers and displays.

“This is awesome,” says John Luppert, Austin-based graphic artist. “My Mac Pro died and the Genius Bar was booked for a week. So it’s actually quicker for me to hop the plane down here and let The Toast fix it.”

Broken iMac? Think about what kind of repair makes the most sense for you (click to enlarge)

Even the elderly are being healed. Mya Salsbury, a retired teacher from San Francisco, journeyed to Chile with her wheezing Macintosh LC III — which suddenly started purring like a newborn.

Throwing cold water on the good vibes in Pomaire is Apple spokesperson Katya Radiche, who threatens legal action if Alvarez continues to display his discovery publicly. ”Miracle or not, that image is copyrighted,” she warns, “but I do hope The Toast can fix the screen on my iPod.”
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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 08-25-2010, 11:45 AM
there is no spoon
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Andrés Alvarez: "I wonder why he is on my toast."
Because you put him there you attention seeking whore!
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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 08-25-2010, 12:19 PM
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This thread makes me hungry now.

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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 08-25-2010, 12:26 PM
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I bet I could do all sorts of miracle toast with the laser engraver at my old job. :P

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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 08-25-2010, 12:43 PM
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I want some cinnamon toast now!!

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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 08-25-2010, 12:54 PM
black magic
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