Happy ending from TSA? - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 17 (permalink) Old 12-01-2010, 11:42 AM Thread Starter
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Happy ending from TSA?

A man who became aroused during a TSA pat-down was arrested after he ejaculated on an agent, according to a bizarre, unverified report.

From Dead Serious News:

A 47 year old gay man was arrested at San Francisco International Airport after ejaculating while being patted down by a male TSA agent. Percy Cummings, an interior designer from San Francisco, is being held without bail after the alleged incident, charged with sexually assaulting a Federal agent.

According to Cummings’ partner, Sergio Armani, Cummings has “multiple piercings on his manhood” which were detected during a full body scan. As a result, Cummings was pulled aside for a pat-down. Armani stated that the unidentified TSA agent spent “an inordinate amount of time groping” Cummings, who had apparently become sexually aroused. Cummings, who has a history of sexual dysfunction, ejaculated while the TSA agent’s hand was feeling the piercings. The TSA agent, according to several witnesses, promptly called for back up. Cummings was thrown to the ground and handcuffed.


A TSA spokesperson declined to comment on this specifc [sic] case, but said that anyone ejaculating during a pat-down would be subject to arrest.



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post #2 of 17 (permalink) Old 12-01-2010, 11:49 AM
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hahaha. Cummings

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post #3 of 17 (permalink) Old 12-01-2010, 11:49 AM
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I think this was already posted.

Chris
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post #4 of 17 (permalink) Old 12-01-2010, 11:52 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vcook View Post
I think this was already posted.
Impossible. I am the first on the internet to post this.

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post #5 of 17 (permalink) Old 12-01-2010, 11:56 AM
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From Snopes...

http://www.snopes.com/politics/satire/scanner.asp

Quote:
A similar piece from November 2010 reported that a 47-year-old gay man named Percy Cummings was arrested at San Francisco International Airport "after ejaculating while being patted down by a male TSA agent." That item was also a piece of satire, apparently originating with the Dead Serious News web site, which notes on its About page that "Dead Serious News is a satirical website that is updated on an irregular basis. With the exception of the names of public figures, all names are fictional."
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post #6 of 17 (permalink) Old 12-01-2010, 11:57 AM
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post #7 of 17 (permalink) Old 12-01-2010, 12:04 PM Thread Starter
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I feel like a failure now.

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post #8 of 17 (permalink) Old 12-01-2010, 12:04 PM
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Originally Posted by Chicago Performance View Post
I feel like a failure now.
now?

Everyone Exaggerates

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post #9 of 17 (permalink) Old 12-01-2010, 01:16 PM
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I feel like a failure now.
and I feel like the simpsons.
it's ok south park we still love you
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post #10 of 17 (permalink) Old 12-01-2010, 01:27 PM
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by the time you feel the volcanic eruption starting - its too late to stop it, no?

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post #11 of 17 (permalink) Old 12-01-2010, 01:45 PM
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"I just think about baseball" --Leslie Nielsen

Everyone Exaggerates

We're being taken for a ride... agaaaaaaain.....


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post #12 of 17 (permalink) Old 12-01-2010, 01:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bek View Post
nobody really thought this was true did they?

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post #13 of 17 (permalink) Old 12-01-2010, 01:51 PM
 
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op?
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post #14 of 17 (permalink) Old 12-01-2010, 01:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Arch View Post
"I just think about baseball" --Leslie Nielsen

Mike

When the tailgate drops..the bullshit stops
Hunt ethically - Hunt with a trained Retriever !
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post #15 of 17 (permalink) Old 12-02-2010, 12:42 AM
DRZ
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Epic fail.

Take it to the STREETS!
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post #16 of 17 (permalink) Old 12-02-2010, 08:22 AM
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next time i fly, i'm totally gonna tell TSA i've got a hard on.

-Mopar

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post #17 of 17 (permalink) Old 12-02-2010, 10:29 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MoparBoyy View Post
next time i fly, i'm totally gonna tell TSA i've got a hard on.
"You pick the restaurant, I pick the movie" then give him a wink.

Everyone Exaggerates

We're being taken for a ride... agaaaaaaain.....


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