Old Squid on a Blade
Join Date: Apr 2002
Sportbike: 2000 929
Years Riding: Longer than most of you have been alive. And I'm still slow.
How you found us: The voices in my head told me to come here
Thanks all. It's been rough on everyone especially her kids and my mom. Her youngest was 8 when this started and still asks when her mom is coming home. My 84 year old mother is just out of her mind over this. Both the kids and my mom keep looking up to big, strong, smart Uncle Bruce / Son to be there along with my brother in law and I’m totally at a loss. It is really rough when he breaks down. I try to help out where I can, but there isn’t much I can really do. I can’t even throw $ at them to help out with expenses because of my divorce. For me, that is one of the worst things. I’ve always been able to take care of my family in one way or another and I can’t do anything to really help out and make a difference. Even when my father was dying of cancer just before this started I was able to make a difference. In this I’m totally impotent and just have an empty feeling of helplessness and loss. At that, I’m still better off than everyone else especially Marci.
Heck, she is so fragile that she almost died 2 weeks ago from a fracking bloody nose. She was on Coumadin to prevent a potential blood clot and emboli so it wouldn’t stop. Since she can’t even swallow anymore she was drowning in her own blood and had to be intubated to block the blood from going into her lungs and to provide access to suction them out. The doctors overrode a DNR to do it and if they didn’t she would have been gone in another 15 minutes. As it was she spent a week in ICU and a week on a floor fighting another staph infection caused by this before going back to the nursing home. One of these days something will cascade out of control and she will be gone. While I love my sister, with the quality of her life I’m not sure that would be a bad thing.
There is nothing firm, nothing balanced, nothing durable in all the universe. Nothing remains in its original state, each day, each hour, each moment, there is change. Change is the essence of life. Embrace change as you do life. To fight change is to live in the past.