How can a Father get custody after divorce? - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 55 (permalink) Old 05-25-2011, 08:17 AM Thread Starter
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How can a Father get custody after divorce?

My friend, and coworker for some time,
Is married to a goldigger. they have 2 girls 4 and 6 now i think.

I think at one time she was a teacher, but as soon as they got together she stopped working and lived like one of those cunts on sex and the city,
via his credit cards.

for a while she got a night job bartending, of course, he never saw any of that money. that ended when she destroyed his car coming home at 3:00am from the bar plastered.

He bought a condo downtown about 8 years ago, when the market was peaked. Now, the condo is basically unsellable due to the market.

We work in the construction industry, and when the bottom fell out, he was lucky enough to get a field engineer position working on a dam project in southern IL, with a schedule from 5 to 10 years.

they also gave him a bonus to move as well.

anyhow, due to her overspending he coulndt afford to pay the mortgage,
i think she and their children have been living in a foreclosed condo for over a year and a half.

She decided that she does not want to move down there with him, (because she is a "city girl" whatever that means)
and wants him to get an apartment downtown for her, after they finally get kicked out of there.

shes threatening divorce if he doesnt get her a place in chicago.

Does he have any chance of getting custody of his children if they divorce?
and, if not, what would he be looking at in terms of child support.?

Since she has no means to support herself, does he have to pay for her too?

He Is a canuk, with dual citizenship, my advice was to get yer kids and leave the country. fuck that skank.
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post #2 of 55 (permalink) Old 05-25-2011, 08:23 AM
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A good hunting accident will generally yield custody. IF ya don't go to jail.

Financially, it looks grim if she stays alive.

Him making $$ + she doesn't + her likely getting custody + IL being a no fault state = him paying lots unless he's got a very good prenup.
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post #3 of 55 (permalink) Old 05-25-2011, 08:31 AM
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Hes screwed, Have him divorce her ass, hell cough up 28% for child support and have to pay her some kind of alimony type shit, i think they base it on the number of years married and divide it by 2, so if he has say 100k in 401k, gives her half and in the long run he will have more money with her out of his life than he would with her and her spending. A buddy of mine just went thru it and he has more money saved and cash on hand than he did with their 2 incomes and she made over 40k a year. She sounds like a alky whore, given enough time with ehr selfcentered BS shell get tired of the kids and maybe hand them over to her as it will impede upon her new Whoring run to find Victim # 2 or 3 to support her ass! Chciks like that disgust me, no loyalty to her marriage, family, kids - ITS ALL ABOUT HER - FAWKIN KUNT!

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post #4 of 55 (permalink) Old 05-25-2011, 08:34 AM
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post #5 of 55 (permalink) Old 05-25-2011, 08:38 AM
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He can get custody but he needs to get a great divorce attorney first. After the divorce is set just prove the kids would be better off with him then the wife. Its a long expensive drawn out process but paying up for a GREAT lawyer should be his #1 priority.
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post #6 of 55 (permalink) Old 05-25-2011, 08:42 AM
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^ what these guys said down to letter. He will be better off and in the long run he will be spending less saving more and fuck all the headaches of some fucked up lying whore cunt of a wife.



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post #7 of 55 (permalink) Old 05-25-2011, 08:44 AM
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The chances of him getting custody (versus him being ordered to pay for a place for Mom and girls to live) are slim to none.

Let's see: Give kids to Dad so he can stick them in Daycare while he's working most of the time versus leaving them with a stay at home mom (technically, not realistically) while he pays to support them.... Gee, I wonder what the decision will be there...

If she's going to pull the divorce card, then he should call her bluff. At least then, there will be a set amount of money (yet to be determined by court) that he'll have to pay versus her driving him financially off a cliff at any given moment due to her bad lifestyle habits. People like that rarely if ever change and their bad habits only get worse because either way he'll be paying to enable it.

He could try growing a pair and just bring a truck to the condo, load EVERYTHING up in it and move it down to where he is living/working and tell them to hop their ass in the truck and come on.... but you're not making it sound like he wants the marriage to even last and in that case I'm backing Tnat on this one.

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post #8 of 55 (permalink) Old 05-25-2011, 08:55 AM
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Feel sorry for him, price of marrying a high maintenance woman. Two friends of mine went through similar situations as far as the wife's "lifesyle". One spent $500-$600 weekends at old orchard EVERY weekend as a lifestyle and had the best of everything. She cheated on him and the poor sob lost the kid and is bringing home about 60% of what he works for. Poor SOB, there are really no winners in a divorce. Children typically go with the mom even if she is in the wrong, basically has to be an unfit mother and a danger to the kids to lose them. If she does not have enough money to support them typically the father has to kick in the $$ to make it so (401K, IRA liquidation). Your friend should expect 1.5-2 years worth of hell and lawyer fees.
On a side note, does your friend really want to be with someone who threatens him with divorce if she does not get her way? It may be emotionally and financially painful but probably better off starting fresh now when he is still young. As a side note, I can understand not wanting to move to Southern IL but demanding a fancy apt downtown is unreasonable. She should help him find something nearby and move to the surrounding city or close burbs and rent. But this relationship sounds very one sided. Then again there are 3 sides to every story.

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post #9 of 55 (permalink) Old 05-25-2011, 08:59 AM
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Shit all he has to do is have family near by that's semi retired or at home to provide care while at work or sutable day care for the kids and have his lawyer prove by what ever means nessary she is an unfit mother!

Or

If it's been over a 10 year marrage, he has to give her 1/2 of his assets over 500.00 Mainly money accounts. 2 kids = 28% of his NET INCOME. provide maintenance for her till the moment she cohabitate with someone then she loses that. Provide health coverage for the kids only.

Most of all file BK



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post #10 of 55 (permalink) Old 05-25-2011, 09:03 AM
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Shit all he has to do is have family near by that's semi retired or at home to provide care while at work or sutable day care for the kids and have his lawyer prove by what ever means nessary she is an unfit mother!

Or

If it's been over a 10 year marrage, he has to give her 1/2 of his assets over 500.00 Mainly money accounts. 2 kids = 28% of his NET INCOME. provide maintenance for her till the moment she cohabitate with someone then she loses that. Provide health coverage for the kids only.

Most of all file BK

+1 file BK, get rid of whore and start over! Its chicks like that that make Drew petersen seem like a hero! We got some spare 55 gal drums here at work if he needs one and some shrink wrap!

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post #11 of 55 (permalink) Old 05-25-2011, 09:11 AM
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Oh a d if he wants to be in a better spot. Take all the shit he wants before opening his mouth to her. Move out all his tools etc high ticket items and separate the bank accounts. Close em out and she's fucked.

Courts or the lawyers don't care cause it's prior to the file date!!!

I KNOW FIRST HAND!!!

Leave her with shit but just enough to care for the kids. And even then some fathers don't even give that. And with her not being able to afford an attorney makes it that much better for him!

Also unless the bitch is croupled. The courts will see her full body abled to afford minimum wage. A single mother will never make shit Living alone on child support and adding 40 hours of her working minimum wage will even then barely get by. So it's only a matter of time before she shacks up and then looses her maintenance support.
If she dates and he can prove it, if she's moved in or someone moved in with her and can prove it, she's fucked!!

Be happy and dump that bitch!!



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post #12 of 55 (permalink) Old 05-25-2011, 09:13 AM
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+1 file BK, get rid of whore and start over! Its chicks like that that make Drew petersen seem like a hero! We got some spare 55 gal drums here at work if he needs one and some shrink wrap!
No need to kill. Just move on. You can't put a price on happiness.



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post #13 of 55 (permalink) Old 05-25-2011, 09:14 AM
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post #14 of 55 (permalink) Old 05-25-2011, 09:22 AM
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post #15 of 55 (permalink) Old 05-25-2011, 09:46 AM
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He can get custody but he needs to get a great divorce attorney first. After the divorce is set just prove the kids would be better off with him then the wife. Its a long expensive drawn out process but paying up for a GREAT lawyer should be his #1 priority.
I believe the loser is on the hook for both parties legal bills. I have a close friend that went through this whole process and he lost. Even though the mom was a major, and well documented, alcoholic. She was fitted with an ankle bracelet, etc, but in the end did was she needed to and kept her kids and he's out about $80k. He went at this as hard as he could have.

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post #16 of 55 (permalink) Old 05-25-2011, 09:51 AM
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^ seldom does this happen. He must have purposely paid both sides of the attorney to speed it a long.

None the less it's a hard road and why it's costly....CAUSE IT'S WORTH IT!! Lol



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post #17 of 55 (permalink) Old 05-25-2011, 10:01 AM Thread Starter
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wow, i didnt know she could get his 401k,
thats probably his only asset, the rest is just debt.

I thought she had to be remarried for the financial support to end.
You are saying all she has to do is live with a guy for a while and he dosent have to pay?
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post #18 of 55 (permalink) Old 05-25-2011, 10:05 AM
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Sorry to hear, I hate hearing these kinds of situations because the kids aren't always better off with the mom. I know A LOT of AWESOME dad's.

I do know someone that lost custody of both of her kids.....hmmmmm, I wonder why

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post #19 of 55 (permalink) Old 05-25-2011, 10:13 AM
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Sorry to hear, I hate hearing these kinds of situations because the kids aren't always better off with the mom. I know A LOT of AWESOME dad's.

I do know someone that lost custody of both of her kids.....hmmmmm, I wonder why
is this someone on the board?

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post #20 of 55 (permalink) Old 05-25-2011, 10:17 AM
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is this someone on the board?
No

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post #21 of 55 (permalink) Old 05-25-2011, 10:30 AM
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wow, i didnt know she could get his 401k,
thats probably his only asset, the rest is just debt.

I thought she had to be remarried for the financial support to end.
You are saying all she has to do is live with a guy for a while and he dosent have to pay?

yes 1/2 his 401k is hers so make sure he stops contributing to it till the custody hearing is over (unless they cant agree who is taking the kids) once he says you keep the kids cause he isnt gonna win it then the start having him claim all he can into self investments in the company (she is not entitled to them) then when the divorce is all over resume your contributions.


the moment she does and he can prove it (hire a PI) that goes bye bye.

trust me i know all this cause i done it(got divorced no kids), living with now with my lady and her kids and help supporting them cause the father is a fucken ijew. (shes in the mid process of a divorce)



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post #22 of 55 (permalink) Old 05-25-2011, 11:08 AM
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LOL I lost 80K because my x took half of my 401K. I got half of hers which was nothing. Thats why I will never get married again


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post #23 of 55 (permalink) Old 05-25-2011, 11:09 AM
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is this someone on the board?
No its a guy Frankie that is on this board. His GF lost custody of her kids.
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post #24 of 55 (permalink) Old 05-25-2011, 11:11 AM
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yes 1/2 his 401k is hers so make sure he stops contributing to it till the custody hearing is over (unless they cant agree who is taking the kids) once he says you keep the kids cause he isnt gonna win it then the start having him claim all he can into self investments in the company (she is not entitled to them) then when the divorce is all over resume your contributions.


the moment she does and he can prove it (hire a PI) that goes bye bye.

trust me i know all this cause i done it(got divorced no kids), living with now with my lady and her kids and help supporting them cause the father is a fucken ijew. (shes in the mid process of a divorce)
I doubt his union is going to stop contributing. There is no way to do that that i am aware of. She will get half of his retirement funds.
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post #25 of 55 (permalink) Old 05-25-2011, 11:15 AM
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I doubt his union is going to stop contributing. There is no way to do that that i am aware of. She will get half of his retirement funds.
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post #26 of 55 (permalink) Old 05-25-2011, 11:41 AM
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post #27 of 55 (permalink) Old 05-25-2011, 12:15 PM
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I doubt his union is going to stop contributing. There is no way to do that that i am aware of. She will get half of his retirement funds.
not sure if you meant if he is (union as in THE union) which he isnt, but oh yesssss she is getting half.

but yes he was able too, i saw every pay stub from his audit and we saw a shift of investing moved from 401 to all self investment packages within his company that he works for.



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post #28 of 55 (permalink) Old 05-25-2011, 12:23 PM
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Ever heard the phrase "cheaper to keep her"?

lol thats a good old saying that doesn't hold water now a days.

(you know who) use to say that too to (you know who) for years...shit me and (him) laughed about it when we talk sometimes now cause he has more money stuffed away monthly from this whole ordeal and less headaches!!!! and he is just enjoying life now..


**edited...i forgot to add this** (you know who) already bought a brand new bike since he had to give that up years ago.he paid in cash!..lol




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post #29 of 55 (permalink) Old 05-25-2011, 01:20 PM
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So one thing I don't get, since I've not been in this situation.

I get married, have kids, and get divorced.
I have a job, and a good imcome.
She had no job when we were together, and has no intentions of getting one now.

Regardless of who "bought/rents" what property, we now live in different abodes.
She still has no job, and won custody of the kids.

I understand the whole child support thing, but she still doesn't get a job and I have to pay her living expenses in terms of mortgage/rent/utilities????

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post #30 of 55 (permalink) Old 05-25-2011, 01:25 PM
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So one thing I don't get, since I've not been in this situation.

I get married, have kids, and get divorced.
I have a job, and a good imcome.
She had no job when we were together, and has no intentions of getting one now.

Regardless of who "bought/rents" what property, we now live in different abodes.
She still has no job, and won custody of the kids.

I understand the whole child support thing, but she still doesn't get a job and I have to pay her living expenses in terms of mortgage/rent/utilities????

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Lupi

in short, NO!



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