I question how this is excusable behavior... the problem still lies with them and their inability to STFU and follow directions (oversimplified, yes... ).
I don't get it either. But after watching one person in particular for about 30 years, I also get that he's pretty much unable or unwilling to change how he does things. In his individual case, it's because he's a perfectionist, and wants everyone else to do things right as well. In his profession (prostheticist) people's well-being and ability to live without pain kind of depend on getting the fit and such correct, and he gets upset when he sees shoddy work delivered to patients. Bosses don't want to hear about corrections and re-dos, so he usually gets fired after a while. He had his own shop and was successful for about 10 years, before industry consolidation and changes to insurance and medicare payments (mostly late pay by insurers and the state/feds) squeezed him out of business a number of years ago. He still looks for and gets work, but it doesn't last.
You sure hang with some fucked up people! Btw are these straight or gay people - % of them straight or gay? Im curious if there is a correlation of straights or gays that have more fucked up Social disorders?
Some are family. As far as gay/straight: I'd guess 90%+ of these people are straight. That's about the same as society at large I guess. In my personal experience, all the lazy people I know are straight as far as I know. But I choose to surround myself with the type of people who are not likely to fall into the lazy category. So those I know are from jobs I've had, and aren't friends or anything.
The only gay guys I know who can't work due to health are guys who AIDS nearly killed off before the meds got good, and now, their bodies and/or minds are so destroyed by either the HIV or the side effects of the meds that they can't work. The appear fine, but when they get into the work environment, their bodies fail to take the stress and demands of the job, and they get ill again.
HIV messes directly with your heart, liver & kidneys & your ability to digest food and turn it into energy, and more. It can get into your brain and mess that up, too. The meds that control HIV destroy your arteries, heart, liver, kidneys, pancreas, etc. over time. And that's before any of the opportunistic diseases you can come down with when your immune system is destroyed by the HIV. This makes it a delicate balance to stay healthy. They really aren't capable of much exertion or energy output on any regular basis. I know a few long-term survivors in this category, and all of them I know would dearly love to be working.
One friend in particular 'hit the wall' about 3 or 4 times since I've known him, is now blind, has lost both kidneys (and finally got a transplant after 5 years on dialysis). He's doing OK now, and trying to figure out how to either adapt his skills/work environment to a useful job, or acquire new skills to use in a useful job. Before, he was a database programmer. Now, he struggles to see the computer screen.