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post #1 of 49 (permalink) Old 12-12-2003, 10:56 AM Thread Starter
 
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Any riddles or Jokes out there? Bored Today

Are there any riddles or jokes out there? Today is a bit boring.
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post #2 of 49 (permalink) Old 12-12-2003, 11:28 AM
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Hawkeye... here you go. Oh, and I'm ready for my "Welcome To Last Week" pic if its been posted already.

Supposedly a true story. An elderly lady phoned Verizon to report that her
telephone failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few
occasions when it did ring, her pet dog always barked right before the
phone rang. The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see
this psychic dog or senile elderly lady. _He climbed a nearby telephone
pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house. The phone
didn't ring right away, but then the dog barked loudly and the telephone
began to ring. Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:

1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground post via a steel chain
and collar.

2. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the phone
number was called.

3. After several such jolts, the dog would start barking and then urinate
on the ground.

4. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to
ring.

Which goes to show that some problems can be fixed by just pissing on them.

I seriously doubt the validity of this story.

Never a bad time to climb... unless the weather is really horrible, and then you climb inside!

I bleed GREEN
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post #3 of 49 (permalink) Old 12-12-2003, 11:46 AM Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by Chills
Hawkeye... here you go. Oh, and I'm ready for my "Welcome To Last Week" pic if its been posted already.

Supposedly a true story. An elderly lady phoned Verizon to report that her
telephone failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few
occasions when it did ring, her pet dog always barked right before the
phone rang. The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see
this psychic dog or senile elderly lady. _He climbed a nearby telephone
pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house. The phone
didn't ring right away, but then the dog barked loudly and the telephone
began to ring. Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:

1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground post via a steel chain
and collar.

2. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the phone
number was called.

3. After several such jolts, the dog would start barking and then urinate
on the ground.

4. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to
ring.

Which goes to show that some problems can be fixed by just pissing on them.

I seriously doubt the validity of this story.

Thank you Chills, but I dont think you read my post. I AM LOOKING FOR RIDDLES OR JOKES. What the hell is that? An anecdote? I dont remember asking for an anecdote. Pay attention. Keep with the program. Stay focus. Keep your eye on teh ball. And most importantly dont get your panties in a twist because I am just playing around.

Shit I am bored.
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post #4 of 49 (permalink) Old 12-12-2003, 11:58 AM
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Four people, A, B, C, and D, are on one side of a bridge, and they all want to cross the bridge. However, it's late at night, so you can't cross without a flashlight. They only have one flashlight. Also, the bridge is only strong enough to support the weight of two people at once. The four people all walk at different speeds: A takes 1 minute to cross the bridge, B takes 2 minutes, C takes 5 minutes, and D takes 10 minutes. When two people cross together, sharing the flashlight, they walk at the slower person's rate. How quickly can the four cross the bridge?




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post #5 of 49 (permalink) Old 12-12-2003, 12:01 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Hawkeye
Thank you Chills, but I dont think you read my post. I AM LOOKING FOR RIDDLES OR JOKES. What the hell is that? An anecdote? I dont remember asking for an anecdote. Pay attention. Keep with the program. Stay focus. Keep your eye on teh ball. And most importantly dont get your panties in a twist because I am just playing around.

Shit I am bored.

ahahaha.... you are correct. I wasn't paying attention. I too am bored and my mind is wandering.... now let me solve Gixxer Tony's post.

Never a bad time to climb... unless the weather is really horrible, and then you climb inside!

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post #6 of 49 (permalink) Old 12-12-2003, 12:03 PM Thread Starter
 
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I am thinking this is wrong but if the question is asking for all 4 to get across it would take 19 min.

Last edited by Hawkeye; 12-12-2003 at 12:09 PM.
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post #7 of 49 (permalink) Old 12-12-2003, 12:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by GsxrTony
Four people, A, B, C, and D, are on one side of a bridge, and they all want to cross the bridge. However, it's late at night, so you can't cross without a flashlight. They only have one flashlight. Also, the bridge is only strong enough to support the weight of two people at once. The four people all walk at different speeds: A takes 1 minute to cross the bridge, B takes 2 minutes, C takes 5 minutes, and D takes 10 minutes. When two people cross together, sharing the flashlight, they walk at the slower person's rate. How quickly can the four cross the bridge?
19 minutes!!!! I rock!

Never a bad time to climb... unless the weather is really horrible, and then you climb inside!

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post #8 of 49 (permalink) Old 12-12-2003, 12:07 PM
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HDTony.... Damn glad to meet you!

Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.

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post #9 of 49 (permalink) Old 12-12-2003, 12:07 PM Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by Chills
19 minutes!!!! I rock!
holy cow i was actually right on a riddle?!?!?!?!!!!! hell yeah!
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post #10 of 49 (permalink) Old 12-12-2003, 12:09 PM
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6minutes or 12 ???
post #11 of 49 (permalink) Old 12-12-2003, 12:10 PM
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Mom, Dad, and 2 kids have come to a river, and they find a boat. It is small and can only carry one adult or 2 kids at a time. Both kids are good rowers, but how can the whole family reach the other side of the river?




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post #12 of 49 (permalink) Old 12-12-2003, 12:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by GsxrTony
Mom, Dad, and 2 kids have come to a river, and they find a boat. It is small and can only carry one adult or 2 kids at a time. Both kids are good rowers, but how can the whole family reach the other side of the river?
Jump back in the SUV and drive over the bridge.

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post #13 of 49 (permalink) Old 12-12-2003, 12:19 PM Thread Starter
 
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the 2 kids take it over. 1 kid brings it back. then the mom takes it over and the other kid brings it back. then the 2 kids go over again and 1 comes back. then the dad brings it over and the remaining kid on the other side with mom brings it back. then the 2 kids row over together. they are all across now.
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post #14 of 49 (permalink) Old 12-12-2003, 12:21 PM Thread Starter
 
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or they go to the bridge and take the bridge over with the flash light taking turns being paired up. and it will take them 19 min to do this.
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post #15 of 49 (permalink) Old 12-12-2003, 12:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Hawkeye
or they go to the bridge and take the bridge over with the flash light taking turns being paired up. and it will take them 19 min to do this.
Dude, you're f*ckin' funny..

That was the best answer.

Never a bad time to climb... unless the weather is really horrible, and then you climb inside!

I bleed GREEN
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post #16 of 49 (permalink) Old 12-12-2003, 12:31 PM Thread Starter
 
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Where is crazy? he is usually filled with useless information and riddles. Mostly useless info though.
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post #17 of 49 (permalink) Old 12-12-2003, 12:47 PM
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How many letters in "the alphalbet"




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Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.

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post #18 of 49 (permalink) Old 12-12-2003, 12:51 PM Thread Starter
 
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12
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post #19 of 49 (permalink) Old 12-12-2003, 12:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by GsxrTony
How many letters in "the alphalbet"
in that mispelling? 12.

Chris
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post #20 of 49 (permalink) Old 12-12-2003, 12:52 PM Thread Starter
 
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how much wood could a wood chuck chuck if wood chuck could chuck wood?
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post #21 of 49 (permalink) Old 12-12-2003, 01:12 PM
yo quiero su taco
 
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Not sure if this is a welcome to last week, but...


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post #22 of 49 (permalink) Old 12-12-2003, 01:20 PM
 
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Re: Any riddles or Jokes out there? Bored Today

Quote:
Originally posted by Hawkeye
Are there any riddles or jokes out there? Today is a bit boring.


A man leavs home makes 3 left turns, comes home and is greeted by 2 masked men

who are the 2 masked men?







give u the answer 2mro
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post #23 of 49 (permalink) Old 12-12-2003, 01:24 PM Thread Starter
 
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Re: Re: Any riddles or Jokes out there? Bored Today

Quote:
Originally posted by bravo6
A man leavs home makes 3 left turns, comes home and is greeted by 2 masked men

who are the 2 masked men?







give u the answer 2mro
Comeon. what is the answer?
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post #24 of 49 (permalink) Old 12-12-2003, 01:28 PM
 
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See now your not so bored, so think about it and i'll tell you 2mro
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post #25 of 49 (permalink) Old 12-12-2003, 01:29 PM
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Re: Re: Any riddles or Jokes out there? Bored Today

Quote:
Originally posted by bravo6
A man leavs home makes 3 left turns, comes home and is greeted by 2 masked men

who are the 2 masked men?







give u the answer 2mro
BASEBALL players!!! The catcher and umpire..!!! I rock again!!

Never a bad time to climb... unless the weather is really horrible, and then you climb inside!

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post #26 of 49 (permalink) Old 12-12-2003, 01:41 PM
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1. There are 5 houses in five different colors.
2. In each house lives a person with a different nationality.
3. These five owners drink a certain drink, smoke a certain band of cigar and keep a certain pet.
4. no owners have the same pet, smoke the same brand of cigar nor drink the same drink.

THE QUESTION IS - WHO OWNS THE FISH?

The Britt lives in the red house.
The Swede keeps dogs as pets.
The Dane drinks tea.
The green house is on the left of the white house.
The green house owner drinks coffee.
The person who smokes Paul Mall rears birds.
The owner of the yellow house smokes Dunhill.
The man living in the house right in centre drinks milk.
The Norwegian lives in the first house.
The man who smokes blends lives next to the one who keeps cats.
The man who keeps horses lives next to the man who smokes Dunhill.
The owner who smokes Bluemaster drinks beer.
The German smokes Prince.
The Norwegian lives next to the blue house.
The man who smokes Blend has a neighbor who drinks water.




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post #27 of 49 (permalink) Old 12-12-2003, 01:47 PM
 
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Damnit! you got me Chris
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post #28 of 49 (permalink) Old 12-12-2003, 01:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by bravo6
Damnit! you got me Chris
I ar purty smert. Now I'm working on Tony's puzzle... Only one hour left in the office. Must work fast!

Never a bad time to climb... unless the weather is really horrible, and then you climb inside!

I bleed GREEN
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post #29 of 49 (permalink) Old 12-12-2003, 01:52 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by Chills
I ar purty smert. Now I'm working on Tony's puzzle... Only one hour left in the office. Must work fast!



OK lets see who can break this 1?




































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post #30 of 49 (permalink) Old 12-12-2003, 02:03 PM
 
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Hey.. that earlier question... is not 19 minutes. Its 17 minutes.

Hint.. the rule of the riddle is..... if two cross, it takes the pace of the slower man. It does not mean it takes 10 minutes. Whoever is paired up with the one that takes 10 minutes, the trip overall will take 10 minutes. It takes 17 minutes to get all men across.
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