'Twas the night before Christmas,
When all through the garage,
Not a motor was was churning nor a battery taking charge.
The R1 is on stands standing pretty and tall,
In hopes of warm weather and memories of fall.
The rider lay all nestled and snug in his bed,
While dreams of long rides and races ran in his head.
And ma in her nitie and I with a map,
Had just figured out a long winter route rap.
When out on the road there arose such a chatter,
9mm in hand I went to see what the hell was the matter.
Away to the window I made a mad dash,
Tore open the shutters and almost fell on my ass.
But what to my bloodshot eyes should appear,
A big o'l Harley I never heard such pitter patters,
With a little damn driver, that thinks he's so quick,
I knew right away it was that damn bastard Nick.
More rapid than you his curses he claimed,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called me a name:
"I'm Faster! I'm Faster! Than a Gixxer 1k or ZX10-r!
Or, RC 51, or Aprilla Factory, or Honda 1000 RR
>From a stop than a MV! Yes I can haul!
Now drag a knee! drag a knee! drag a knee all!"
As dry heaves I held back, to the garage I dive,
When I met with an obstacle, before I can drive,
Add a can of Slick 50, and octane to 110.
Just to make damn sure that win.
And then at a signal, I heard from his motor
The popping and clacking from each of his cylinders.
As we drew to the line, to get some good ground,
He revved up his engine that roared like a hound.
He was ready I could tell by his stance on his foot,
And his clothes were all covered with oil and soot.
When the light changed, my head was flung back,
And I saw light from the flames in his stacks.
My eyes how they twinkle when my horsepower wails!
My R1 arose like a bat out of hell.
His droll little mouth was shut up in a blow,
Now this jerk on a Harley was as white as the snow.
The stump of my tail pipe blew out his teeth,
And my smoke encircled his head like a wreath.
As I blew his leathers off, he gave me the finger
My R1 was hot, you can tell I'm the winner.
He spoke just a word, what you'd expect from a jerk.
Then he drove off to go back to work.
And I heard him explain, as he rode out of sight,
"Next time pal, cause it's been a hell of a night."