Here's a question for all you Parents - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 65 (permalink) Old 02-09-2004, 08:07 AM Thread Starter
 
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Here's a question for all you Parents

With all of the excitement of the stroller thread, I have a serious question.

Please read the entire thread before jumping in to respond.

How do parents justify continuing to ride when they have kids at home?

I have had at least a half dozen friends hurt or killed every year since I've been riding (long time).

I especially question the couple's who continue to ride. Since one small incident could easily leave the children parentless.

I have a feeling there's a whole bunch of denial that goes with the decision to continue to ride.

Have you parents made a backup plan "incase."

Have you ever been in an accident? Do you REALLY understand what can happen?

Have you thought about the possibility of your child being hurt? Do they have all the gear also?

Have to talked to you children about the possibilities of you being hurt of killed?

Do you have adequate life insurance for your family if something happens?

I ask these questions, because if it ever came to me bringing a child into the world (which at 38 isn't going to happen), I would try and eliminte as many dangerous activities as possible.

Please save the hostile answers, lets see how productive we can make this. J
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post #2 of 65 (permalink) Old 02-09-2004, 08:31 AM
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Re: Here's a question for all you Parents

Quote:
Originally posted by Motobeagle

I ask these questions, because if it ever came to me bringing a child into the world (which at 38 isn't going to happen),
That statement is the kiss of death my friend

Back to the subject at hand, I still ride, but I don't ride like a demon (for that matter I really never have) and I leave my riding to early saturday/Sunday mornings out in the middle of nowhere. (lets me have my fun, but doesn't affect anyone else on the road)

Look, I can appreciate this. I was young too, I felt just like you. Hated authority, hated all my bosses, thought they were full of shit. Look, it's like they say, if you're not a rebel by the age of 20, you got no heart, but if you haven't turned establishment by 30, you've got no brains. Because there are no story-book romances, no fairy-tale endings. So before you run out and change the world, ask yourself, "What do you really want?"
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post #3 of 65 (permalink) Old 02-09-2004, 08:33 AM
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Good questions there, I know I will be happy to read the rest of this post, just to get the idea how some people are dealing with all that risk involved in riding a bike. after all, I did get married recently, and my wife told me that she does NOT wish for me to stop riding, but what if she did? so I would really like to see this post be very productive, and am sure I will be checking this one out often to see how the members of this board deal with this issue.plus I did take out a life insurance, health insurance, on top of what my motorcycle insurance covers in case of a accident, that's how I dealt with this issue,$ wise, and I hope that my wife will stick by my side for good times and for bad times. plus how do u guys have time to ride in the first place???

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post #4 of 65 (permalink) Old 02-09-2004, 08:42 AM
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I know I am planning on having kids in the next few years. At that point the valkyrie will be gone, cause I really wont want the wife riding with me for that reason. I will most likly get a boat at that point so the whole family can go out (ya I know, risk there to but its everywhere) Also at that point I may just end up with a track bike or maybe a custom chopper, casue I wont beriding on the street that much. Just to local hangaouts and shit.




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post #5 of 65 (permalink) Old 02-09-2004, 08:54 AM
 
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I don't have any kids but I posed a similar question to a friend that does. His answer was simple and summed it up nicely for me;

"I had a kid, not a funeral."
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post #6 of 65 (permalink) Old 02-09-2004, 09:04 AM
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Ya exactly I'll still ride , but I will make sur my family is taken care of in case anything happens.




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post #7 of 65 (permalink) Old 02-09-2004, 09:10 AM
 
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Ya insurance is a great thing. If err.... when I die it's sure to make a couple of people very well off.

Thread is a little senseless, you could get killed and leave a child parentless by crossing the street.

Hell I'm worth more dead then alive. I guess you'd prepare for it like you would for anything else (plane crash, car crash, cancer, heart disease etc.)
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post #8 of 65 (permalink) Old 02-09-2004, 09:15 AM
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Remind me not to become one of your rapidly dwindling supply of friends. yikes!

Since both of us ride, 1 incident shouldn't take out both of us. My wife is too independent to ride bitch. Although, while she has her license and a bike, she never rides enough to get "over the hump" with her skill set. I think it will become a passing fad. so, no we don't have a good backup plan in case both of us bite it. I think Grandma and Grandpa would be stuck.

Yes, I have crashed. Grace too with a prior BF. I am now getting over shoulder surgery because of a past crash. And I used to work in an ER. I know what can happen.

A little. My boys are 10 and 14. Especially the 14 year old as next year he gets his permit. They get the dose of reality. My 3 year old is a little young.

I sell insurance so there is several million on my head. I probably should get some more, but I don't want it to be too attractive to my wife.

I skipped your order and saved this for last. How do I justify riding.
1. While marriage and kids does change your life, you can't stop living your life. You just think about the results of your actions more. And yes, I'm modifying what I do because of my responsibility to me and my family.
2. I have definately changed how, when, where I ride over the years.
3. Funny, I have been having multiple conversations and have devoted a lot of thought about this year's activities. I have more potential track days lined up than I have ever had in a year. If I add them up, including the flat track stuff there are around a dozen. I don't think I'll make half of them. I might only do 1 or 2 road events, just so I'm not a total puss. BTW, I personally think track days are a safer than the group rides. I prefer the track to just commuting or bombing around.
4. Before I get on the track again, I'm going to turn 48. I've been riding since my teens although track stuff has only been since 99. I've come to the conclusion that I really have nothing to prove to myself or anyone else anymore. I just like getting out there to work on my skill set. I never push past 80% or so and ride somewhere between fast intermediate to slow advanced pace. I just want to go out and ride clean lines with good technique.
5. I know I can still get messed up, but whenever I throw a leg over the saddle I "preflight" my self and the bike. You will never see me out with out proper gear (down to a spine protector ever time), in good mental (no booze or even a hangover), and have the recently checked out the bike down to tire pressures.
6. I guess the final justificaiton is that there are a lot of things all of us do that can kill or hurt us. Riding is just another measured risk. I do what I can to minimize them. If at some point I determine that the risk isn't worth the reward I'll quit. Heck, with the amount of pain my shoulder has put me through over the last 3 years I think a lot about what I'm doing on the bike.

Whew, that was more than I wanted to say... Yak yak yak

Later,

Bruce

There is nothing firm, nothing balanced, nothing durable in all the universe. Nothing remains in its original state, each day, each hour, each moment, there is change. Change is the essence of life. Embrace change as you do life. To fight change is to live in the past.
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post #9 of 65 (permalink) Old 02-09-2004, 09:26 AM
 
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Great questions,
I been riding for years, I thank the good Lord< I have not been in any accidents. I read up on safety first. Yes I do get scared just thinking about it. I have 3 children, one of them we ride together.
I had him read up on saftey before he purchased his first bike. We were scheduled to take safety classes but they were to full. We will taking them this Spring. Thats a MUST. That also helps peace of mind for my wife as well.
We are not wild riders, my son has seen his friend drop the bikes, pretty bad, that alone scared him in doing anything crazy.
I would suggest veyry highly to push safety, and follow the rules.
What else can you do? Know what I mean ?
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post #10 of 65 (permalink) Old 02-09-2004, 09:26 AM
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Re: Here's a question for all you Parents

Quote:
Originally posted by Motobeagle

How do parents justify continuing to ride when they have kids at home?

I didnt die i had a kid.

I have had at least a half dozen friends hurt or killed every year since I've been riding (long time).

ive attended funerals for friends that died in cars, when its your turn its your turn

I especially question the couple's who continue to ride. Since one small incident could easily leave the children parentless.

my wife dont ride anymore.

I have a feeling there's a whole bunch of denial that goes with the decision to continue to ride.

I dont think thats the case, I dont ride on the street anymore, i find the streets to much more dangerous then the track. i know there is a risk involved, so does my wife, as long as i ride within myself at the track i will be doing everything possible to eliminate dangerous situations, but i know they may happen.

Have you parents made a backup plan "incase."
back up plan? insurance? yes, friends and family? yes

Have you ever been in an accident? Do you REALLY understand what can happen?

yes i have, more then one on the street and the track, i do understand the risk, i try every thing possilbe to minimize the risk, thats why i gave up street riding and wear gear all the time.


Have you thought about the possibility of your child being hurt? Do they have all the gear also?

not old enough to ride yet, but when he is and if he wants to ride, he will be properly educated and dressed

Have to talked to you children about the possibilities of you being hurt of killed?

again not old enough but when the time comes i will

Do you have adequate life insurance for your family if something happens?


yes i do


I ask these questions, because if it ever came to me bringing a child into the world (which at 38 isn't going to happen), I would try and eliminte as many dangerous activities as possible.

agree, but why stop living? getting in a car is a risk, maybe not as severe but its still is a risk, so is smoking, or drinking, my point is everything is a risk, but why live in a cacoon?

Please save the hostile answers, lets see how productive we can make this. J
having a child is not a handicap, its a blessing, one that should be cherished by all who have had the blessing of having them. You do have to reevaluate the way you live your life, I have, im sure most parents on this board have changed since then, however we all love motorcycles and having a child should not stop one from there hobbie, they should do what ever possible to reduce the risk of injury or death as much as possible, but to give it up is just absurd.

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post #11 of 65 (permalink) Old 02-09-2004, 09:28 AM
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by the way my answers are in the text of the quote!

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post #12 of 65 (permalink) Old 02-09-2004, 09:29 AM
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Re: Here's a question for all you Parents

Quote:
Originally posted by Motobeagle
With all of the excitement of the stroller thread, I have a serious question.

Please read the entire thread before jumping in to respond.

How do parents justify continuing to ride when they have kids at home?

I have had at least a half dozen friends hurt or killed every year since I've been riding (long time).

I especially question the couple's who continue to ride. Since one small incident could easily leave the children parentless.

I have a feeling there's a whole bunch of denial that goes with the decision to continue to ride.

Have you parents made a backup plan "incase."

Have you ever been in an accident? Do you REALLY understand what can happen?

Have you thought about the possibility of your child being hurt? Do they have all the gear also?

Have to talked to you children about the possibilities of you being hurt of killed?

Do you have adequate life insurance for your family if something happens?

I ask these questions, because if it ever came to me bringing a child into the world (which at 38 isn't going to happen), I would try and eliminte as many dangerous activities as possible.

Please save the hostile answers, lets see how productive we can make this. J
I'm not going to even attempt to answer those absurds questions.


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post #13 of 65 (permalink) Old 02-09-2004, 09:32 AM Thread Starter
 
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Somethings missing

What about the kids?

It's great that all of you have changed your attitude towards riding, and it's also great that you have made monetary arrangments. But what about the kids?

What happens if you high side on the track and become another Wayne Rainey?

How are you kids going to feel about you leaving are becoming permanently injured?

I agree that you be killed or hurt doing anything, but why insist on increasing the odds?


As far as this.
Quote:
Remind me not to become one of your rapidly dwindling supply of friends. yikes!
Was this nesessary?

Quote:
I'm not going to even attempt to answer those absurds questions.
Absurd? Are you serious?
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post #14 of 65 (permalink) Old 02-09-2004, 09:38 AM
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Re: Somethings missing

Quote:
Originally posted by Motobeagle
[

Absurd? Are you serious? [/B]
yes

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post #15 of 65 (permalink) Old 02-09-2004, 09:47 AM
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here's my point. why do you think because I have a kid, I shouldn't ride? is it because you beleive the STEREOTYPE that all people who ride crotch rocketrs are idiots? therefore they WILL kill themselves? I'm sorry but that is absurd.

I'm a firefighter and aa paramedic. I have been on a couple of hundred accidents and seen way more death in vehicles (I have been on about a dozen nmotorcycle accidents and 0 deaths). granted motorcycles are a smaller portion of the driving public but I can say this....those that were in accidents were mostly being stupid (ie speeding on the edens, or the offramps, stunting in traffic etc)

the question should be. If your a crazy ass on the bike, do you have back ups plans for your kids?

All I'm saying is you are basing your line of questions on a stereotype. what is more amazing, is that i would think that the people on this board DON't fall into that catagory, and therefore this question should have never been asked!

just my opinion.

thanx for letting me rant (we need a happy thread now )

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post #16 of 65 (permalink) Old 02-09-2004, 09:54 AM Thread Starter
 
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Ahhh.

You lost me on the stereotyping but.,,,,,,

Quote:
I have a feeling there's a whole bunch of denial that goes with the decision to continue to ride.
Quote:
I'm not going to even attempt to answer those absurds questions.
Thanks for enforcing my point.

On a side note. I never said to quit riding (I'm glad my dad didn't), I'm just curious about the parental mentality. My buddies have kids, and have gone out of their way to make sure the kids are taken care of incase.

It's becoming more and more dangerous on the roads, and I would love to hear points on how you parents deal with it.

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post #17 of 65 (permalink) Old 02-09-2004, 09:59 AM
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these are going nowhere. I'm affraid of guns too

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post #18 of 65 (permalink) Old 02-09-2004, 10:03 AM
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Hmmmm,
Being the parent of a 3 year old has curbed my riding quite a bit, and when I do ride I'm considerably more cautious. I have to admit that the joy of riding is greatly diminished, perhaps it feels too selfish and parenthood is an inherently unselfish situation, it has to be. I may hang up the boots this year as it's hard to justify owning 2 bikes and rarely using them.....there I said it.

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post #19 of 65 (permalink) Old 02-09-2004, 10:03 AM
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Let me start by saying I don't have kids, but my opinion is this:

If you don't continue to live your life and do the things you love and sustain you, you are not going to be a very good parent that nurtures kids who explore the things that make themselves happy.

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post #20 of 65 (permalink) Old 02-09-2004, 10:05 AM
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Re: Ahhh.

Quote:
Originally posted by Motobeagle
I'm just curious about the parental mentality.
If you're so curious, go out and become one. It's the only way to satisfy your curiosity. Doing research this way is like asking someone to explain colors to a blind man.

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post #21 of 65 (permalink) Old 02-09-2004, 10:18 AM
 
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When you are dead you do nothing, when you are alive and do nothing you are dead. My passion is riding, it is my break from the monatony. I am a parent of a 3 year old. My daughters mother does not ride. I fear the inevitable, but invite it. You can be injured doing anything why not make it something you love. I am not saying go up the e-way at 150mph, no not at all.

If something happens to me my daughter is backed by all my insurances and if I have it my way when old enough she will be right there with me on the track, she lovers motorcycles. I know my risks everytime I place my ass on that seat. That fear is what makes me put the proper gear on all the time. I have personally like many others seen many bike related deaths, that is a major reality check. There are days I get on my bike and think naw I really dont feel like riding today and I get off. I learned long ago when you get the slightest feeling follow it, it will save your ass!!!!
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post #22 of 65 (permalink) Old 02-09-2004, 10:18 AM
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Quote:
If you don't continue to live your life and do the things you love and sustain you, you are not going to be a very good parent that nurtures kids who explore the things that make themselves happy.
I agree, you just tend to nurture safer hobbies and interests.

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post #23 of 65 (permalink) Old 02-09-2004, 10:35 AM
 
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I have a child(9yr old), didn't change my way of doing things.
My wife just recently got her license.
I have very limited funds set up 'in case of'.
My son is on his second bike of his own.

Why does everything have to be about the children? Never change for someone else.......doesn't matter who it is.
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post #24 of 65 (permalink) Old 02-09-2004, 10:37 AM
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Okay this is hard but here are my answers....

i justify it because i truly enjoy riding. Selfish? Maybe

When we do a "run" i enjoy it until i become uncomfortable and then i ease out and begin rideing my own ride again. Accidents do happen but what about the people who die from ice falling off a bldg d-town? Its just dangers we live with.

Now...The only way my wife would continue to let me ride is by obtaining "SIGNIFICANT" life insurance. I have enough (calculated) to pay off the mortgage, vehicles, CC bills, and there should be enough to continue my normal salary for 20 years.

Secondly. I DO NOT allow my wife to go 2-up with me just for the fear of us both going.

I guess thats it.

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post #25 of 65 (permalink) Old 02-09-2004, 10:38 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by taziscool

Why does everything have to be about the children? Never change for someone else.......doesn't matter who it is.
everything doesnt have to be about them but they should come first!!

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post #26 of 65 (permalink) Old 02-09-2004, 10:56 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by JimGoFast
everything doesnt have to be about them but they should come first!!
TOTALY AGREE, You were once a child, just remember how you felt once.
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post #27 of 65 (permalink) Old 02-09-2004, 10:59 AM
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Since I've had my daughter my personal safety concerning riding has increased significantly. I've taken the MSF course twice, bought full gear (working on the boots) and I've slowed down and just enjoyed the ride.

The decision isn't weather to keep riding or not, it is to consider the way you ride, who you ride with, and how you protect yourself as much as possible.

You ask how do I justify riding when I have a child at home; I ask how do you justify calling yourself a motorcyclist if you can't understand why we do continue to ride

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post #28 of 65 (permalink) Old 02-09-2004, 11:04 AM
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When you have a child you will realize you will always be second fiddle to them because you WANT TO BE SECOND FIDDLE TO THEM!

I bet any parent would step in front of a deathtrap for the safety of their child.

I know i would.

but i also cant put them in a plastic bubble so they never get hurt. I know i was'nt and boy did i feel it! Nor do i regret it either.

C'mon dad the porch is'nt that high! I can do it! "son you will hurt yourself" no i wont dad....C'Mon!! "fine go ahead and jump you hard head but don't say i did'nt warn you!" Then he let me jump and sprain my ankle!

Ya know what he said? "Next time let me teach you how to jump so you won't hurt yourself." I never forgot that and sure enough he did teach me. He was the coolest!

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post #29 of 65 (permalink) Old 02-09-2004, 11:09 AM
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Location: Naperville
Posts: 5,002
Location: Naperville
Sportbike: 2002 Turbo Hayabusa
Years Riding: Lost Track
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Quote:
Originally posted by JimGoFast
everything doesnt have to be about them but they should come first!!
I understand the sentiment here, but for practical purposes, if you don't take care of yourself and your relationship to your wife, you aren't really "putting the kids first".

As I said there will be compromises, and as Labdog said it's because your WANT to.

But really...you are paying the bills so you have food and shelter FIRST right? You are taking care of your marriage so that the kids have both a present mother and father right?

Dave
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post #30 of 65 (permalink) Old 02-09-2004, 11:26 AM
Jim
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: lith
Posts: 9,851
Location: lith
Sportbike: trek
Years Riding: 2
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Quote:
Originally posted by BusaDave
I understand the sentiment here, but for practical purposes, if you don't take care of yourself and your relationship to your wife, you aren't really "putting the kids first".

As I said there will be compromises, and as Labdog said it's because your WANT to.

But really...you are paying the bills so you have food and shelter FIRST right? You are taking care of your marriage so that the kids have both a present mother and father right?
dave, i think i was generalizing in my post, all the things above are a part of putting my son first, but if i have to sacrafice some of my personal pleasures for him, then im going to do it.
to be honest i dont need any personal/individual perks anymore, just seen my child smile at me is enough to put a smile on my face.
any personal freedoms now are just a bonus!

Join the NRA, help protect our Second Amendment rights
GO Bears!!!!!!!!
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