Winning! - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 14 (permalink) Old 10-16-2013, 02:14 PM Thread Starter
G2G
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Chicago
Posts: 14,287
Location: Chicago
Sportbike: It changes everyday
Years Riding: since 1991
How you found us: Ur mom
           
Winning!

Check out this ad. gotta love it

http://enid.craigslist.org/cto/41192...html%3C/div%3E
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post #2 of 14 (permalink) Old 10-16-2013, 02:15 PM Thread Starter
G2G
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Chicago
Posts: 14,287
Location: Chicago
Sportbike: It changes everyday
Years Riding: since 1991
How you found us: Ur mom
           
1997 Jeep Cherokee (XJ)
220K Miles
4.0 L in-line 6
4WD
AUTOMATIC Transmission
Bright Red
Straight Stock
Crank Windows, no cruise, no tilt, no delay wiper, no nonsense
POWER MIRRORS! Woo Hoo!

$1750

Here's the deal, kids:
This is a Jeep Cherokee. This is not a luxury SUV, or a maintenance-free disposable import. It has solid front axles, wind noise, and character.
It's a Jeep. It rides like a Jeep. It drives like a Jeep. All of these are GOOD things.
It is not new, it is not pristine, it is used. This will be apparent in the pictures.


If you do not own a toolbox, have never changed your own oil, and are scared of firearms: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you have been posting on facebook all about how excited you are for pumpkin latte season: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you get offended easy and often, whine to your co-workers, and bitch a lot: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you feel you are owed anything in the world & have a bullshit job where you fail to produce: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you own a bieber album, white oakleys, affliction t-shirts, or those candy-assed stitched-pocket jeans: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you consider the 2nd Amendment an anachronistic relic and have never owned a firearm: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.


If, however, you have BALLS OF STEEL and consider adverse weather an excuse to do stupid shit: THIS IS YOUR JEEP.
Do you laugh at danger, and tempt fate?
Have you ever uttered the words, "Hold my beer and watch this ..."?
While bored at work do you pick targets at random and think, "I could hit that from here with the .22 ..."?
Have any of your friends quit hanging out because you were too much fun?
Do you have the number of a friend with cash memorized for bail?
When you pass an abandoned flatbed farm truck along a fenceline do you consider taking on another project?
Is your ol' lady really sick of the random piles of parts, greasy footprints, and empty beer bottles in the garage?
-could you not care less?
Do you have Jalopnik saved on your laptop AND smartphone?
Do you own a service manual for every vehicle you ever owned?
Do you still miss your first ride?
Can you carry on a two hour conversation discussing tools, scars, and hi-lift jacks?
Remember when tool companies had the balls to put half-naked beauty queens on their calendars?
Do you consider the Prius an abominable affront to the Gods of displacement, torque, and All Mighty Internal Combustion?


If you answered in the affirmative to the preceding: THIS IS YOUR JEEP.

DETAILS:
-I am the second owner. First owner barely got it dirty and engaged the front axles once.
-I have remedied this excessive caretaking with muddy roads and a pile of fun.
-The motor uses a little oil. How much? I don't know, I'm not collecting statistical analysis points.
I check the oil, I fill the oil, I drive. Not enough to bother me.
-It leaks a little oil. How much? Not enough for me to care. It has 220,000 miles, Poindexter!
If you have a vehicle with 220K NOT leaking or burning oil, it's empty!
-Rear bumper has a big-ass crease in it. I dented it backing into a concrete pole. Sober.
We drove away giggling, for the record. Haven't fixed it.
-Driver's side door was caught by the wind, whipped forward, got into the LF quarter panel.
-Radiator has a small leak. Pinhole. I can replace the radiator or you can. Really doesn't matter
A new radiator and hoses will run $145. If you don't want to replace them I will.
Add $250 to the price of vehicle. This includes radiator, hoses, and labor (beer). A freaking bargain.
-The badass little 4.0L bullet-proof in-line six starts and runs like the proverbial champ.
-Tranny and 4WD operate perfectly
-Tires will need replaced in a couple thousand miles. I haven't upgraded because I had plans:
Had planned a small lift, upgrade to 17" Wrangler wheels, and more aggressive tires.
Life got in the way - it ain't happening.
-Zombie stickers on the right rear window stay. My daughter's idea, take it up with her.
-Flogging Molly sticker stays as well. They kick ass, so there.

QUESTIONS:
-Why are you selling?
I can't justify owning it anymore. Motorsickles, kiddos, work, travel, and beer have consumed my time and money.
Someone else needs to appreciate the Jeep for what it is: awesome mechanical artistry.

-What's wrong with it?
Radiator. Small oil leaks. Driver's side door cosmetic issues.
And it's pissed it has been neglected and parked. It needs rescued.

-Does the 4WD work?
Hell yes. Like a Dickensian Orphan.

-Will you sell me the [engine / tranny / rear door / axle / etc.]?
No. I'm not in the salvage business. Buy the Jeep. Love the Jeep. Give the Jeep a home.

-Will you take [insert ridiculously stupid low number here]?
No. If I wanted [ridiculously low number] I would have asked [ridiculously low number]
Want a cheap car? Get your kid that lowered tuner piece of shit honda project down the road.
I think I'm plenty cheap for this bad mofo.

-Why is it still stock?
Because I bought it for a daily driver with the intention of turning it into a project.
I haven't had the time to do so. So I am selling it.

-Can I put a 6" lift and giant tires on it?
I don't give a shit. But be sure to use quality components and for God's sake - get it aligned after a lift!

-Would this make a good car for my daughter?
Hell. Yes. Not only a good car, a learning experience. Introduction to vehicular maintenance.
Additionally, there isn't really enough room in the back for that little bastard she's dating to try anything.

-Can you deliver?
Within reason. I'd drive it a hundred miles or so. But really, you should come get it. Look it over. Have a beer. Etc.

-Will you take a check / cashier's check / Western Union Transfer / Nigerian Promissory Note?
Would you take a ball pein hammer to the forehead?
No. I'll take Cash. Period. Bring cash or don't show.

-Will you ship to -?
No. See above.

-No, really, all I have is [lowball dollar amount]?
That's great, I don't give a shit. Unicef ain't running this deal, and until they do I want $1750.
Why? Because I don't HAVE to sell this little beauty. Truth be known, I'd rather keep it.
But if it's going to a good home - I will sell. Unless you're an asshole - then no sale.

-Why are you such a dick?
Everything is relative; you should see my friends.

Any other questions, feel free to reply to this email and ask.
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post #3 of 14 (permalink) Old 10-16-2013, 02:33 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Chicago
Posts: 13,847
Location: Chicago
Sportbike: I don't ride
How you found us: google
           
haha

<---- Useless Mufugga
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post #4 of 14 (permalink) Old 10-16-2013, 02:59 PM
King Nothing


 
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Ur Moms House
Posts: 17,944
Location: Ur Moms House
Sportbike: I ride Ur Mom
Years Riding: As long as Ive known Ur Mom
How you found us: u found me
           
Truth is advertising!

"When in doubt, use full throttle. It may not improve your situation, but it will end the suspense."
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post #5 of 14 (permalink) Old 10-16-2013, 03:03 PM
BH
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: CowTown, IN
Posts: 4,740
Location: CowTown, IN
Sportbike: KTM
Years Riding: Long enough to get arm pump
How you found us: find who?
           
Send a message via Yahoo to BH
one of my girlfriends in high school drove one of those. there's plenty of room in the back!
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post #6 of 14 (permalink) Old 10-16-2013, 03:05 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Johnsburg, Il
Posts: 9,428
Location: Johnsburg, Il
Sportbike: A weed wacker
Years Riding: Just started today as a matter of fact..
How you found us: A dream I had once
           
Send a message via MSN to JRSMAIL
Awesome!!!!!!!!

Jon
MSF Instructor


<---- Useless

Always Stand For What You Believe In... Even If Means You Stand Alone...
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post #7 of 14 (permalink) Old 10-16-2013, 04:27 PM
Sarcasm in every post.
 
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: 40mi West of the City
Posts: 4,538
Location: 40mi West of the City
Sportbike: '01 ZX-6R, '88 Katana 600
Years Riding: 20+yrs.
How you found us: Written on a YWB's ass. Next to "EMR was here"
           

Ken.


My Garage.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
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post #8 of 14 (permalink) Old 10-16-2013, 06:56 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Winfield
Posts: 43,229
Location: Winfield
Sportbike: bikeless
Years Riding: 10
How you found us: Shit, you know I'm a clsb OG!
           
Send a message via AIM to Vcook
Let's hang out with this guy

Chris
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post #9 of 14 (permalink) Old 10-16-2013, 07:19 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Morgan Park, IL
Posts: 3,753
Location: Morgan Park, IL
Sportbike: A couple
Years Riding: too long to have any sense
How you found us: NESBA
           
Love the trip reset button!

Craig
________________
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post #10 of 14 (permalink) Old 10-16-2013, 08:29 PM
YO MAMA
 
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: balls deep in someones mom
Posts: 60,261
Location: balls deep in someones mom
Sportbike: 2010 Electra Glide Police Edition 103cu
Years Riding: a long time!
           
Lol, good stuff there lol



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post #11 of 14 (permalink) Old 10-17-2013, 01:58 AM
Cuddlie as a koala
 
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Where its free.
Posts: 7,513
Location: Where its free.
Sportbike: Which bike?
Years Riding: Too long.
How you found us: Ken offered me money to join.
           

I'm not crazy, my mother had me tested.
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post #12 of 14 (permalink) Old 10-17-2013, 04:28 AM
C2M
ǝɹoɯʎuɐ ʞɔnɟ ɐ sǝʌıƃ oɥʍ
 
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Crook county
Posts: 11,372
Location: Crook county
Sportbike: 636/ zzr600/ r6
Years Riding: Since 07
How you found us: bathroom stall
           
nice

go time traveler style and go back in time, fuck his grandma, then shoot forward in time and then fuck his mom. Then return back to present state and call him a the product of two incest whores and hes your son and show video of you plowing the both members of his family. .
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post #13 of 14 (permalink) Old 10-21-2013, 10:10 PM
Greg
 
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Morton Grove, Illinois
Posts: 3,677
Location: Morton Grove, Illinois
Sportbike: 2008 HD VRSCAW, 1985 Honda XR350R (Sold), 2001 SV650s (Sold), 2002 Sea-Doo GTX Di
Years Riding: I thought I was getting the hang of it...back to the basics.
How you found us: mentioned on svrider.com
           
Send a message via Yahoo to gsd656
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post #14 of 14 (permalink) Old 10-21-2013, 11:00 PM
sv corners faster than r6
 
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Gurnee, IL
Posts: 488
Location: Gurnee, IL
Sportbike: 09R6/13KTM 250xc race,SV1K,g1 sv proj.
Years Riding: >30 yrs
How you found us: Under a rock
 
Sweet. I'd buy it just to chat with this guy!

SV88/SVR6/Steve sv23
CCS MW 88 AMA Enduro B 631
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