Join Date: Nov 2003
Sportbike: 01 F4i (Well, I HAD one, anyway)
Years Riding: 7
How you found us: I google myself regularly
Can I fantasize about how mine would have been?
Dear Dr. Assole Who Pretends His Wealth is His Own When It's Really His Wife's,
It comes with great joy that I announce my resignation, effective November 15, 2003. Please do not plan a celebratory going away party for me, as I have already been drinking heavily since the day I met you.
I have thoroughy hated my time here at Hoity-Toity Company X, and I hope you all choke on your egos sometime in the near future. In case that doesn't happen I have tainted many of the condiments in the staff refrigerator in hopes that you get violently ill and crap your desk chair.
I am leaving to pursue an alternate career path, as you and you alone have completely marred my image of this field. Just the word "marketing" makes my blood run cold and produces graphic images of your slain head atop my shiny new #2 pencil. You make a shitty eraser, by the way, because of all that spray-on hair you use.
Please let my co-workers be aware that working with them was no picnic either. If there ever was a group of people perfectly suited to serve you during your regin of terror, you have found them. Please tell the secretary that if I had to compliment another one of her ugly purses, I was going to escape out the nearest window.
If there's anything that I can do in the meantime to make this transition better, please let me know, as I would hate to inadvertently do any favors for you. Your office supplies have always been sub-par, so don't go all postal on me checking my bags as I leave. I don't want your crap.
If you would like help training my replacement, then you've got one hell of a nerve, you prick. I say let any person stupid enough to work for you endure the same hell I have for the past three years. I leave here still learning the ropes, as you, sir, suffer from a severe mental complex called "Changing-Your-Fuc*ing-Mind-Every-5-Goddamn-Seconds."
I wish you a lifetime of unhappiness, and watch out-- I have trained a flock of doves to shit on your pansy-ass XK8 wherever you go.