Things my girlfriend and I have argued about Dot com - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 12 (permalink) Old 04-24-2004, 11:16 PM Thread Starter
 
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Things my girlfriend and I have argued about Dot com

Found this site the other night. Laughed my head off. I used to have a gal like this one. Used to pull guns and knives on me.

http://www.thingsmygirlfriendandihavearguedabout.com/

Anybody ever know a nut like this one?
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post #2 of 12 (permalink) Old 04-25-2004, 12:29 AM
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This site is to funny.

-- Matthew --

"I'm just a simple man trying to make his way in the Universe" - Jango Fett
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post #3 of 12 (permalink) Old 04-25-2004, 02:38 AM
pfft.
 
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I wonder if that guy could be getting laid instead of spending all his time bitching about his girlfriend.
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post #4 of 12 (permalink) Old 04-25-2004, 07:27 AM
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Hmmmmm reminds me of an ex-girlfriend, the funny thing was she was german too, I called her "my little panzer head"

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post #5 of 12 (permalink) Old 04-25-2004, 10:23 AM Thread Starter
 
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I read down through the site. The guy is also a columnist for a paper over there in England. Seems kind of like a British Dave Barry. The girl is insane though. I bet she has a Personality Disorder.
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post #6 of 12 (permalink) Old 04-25-2004, 10:44 AM
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Wow!!!Psycho Bitch!!!

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post #7 of 12 (permalink) Old 04-26-2004, 09:08 AM
 
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I read that for like 10 minutes and thought: "Why isn't he divorced or SHE dead yet."
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post #8 of 12 (permalink) Old 04-26-2004, 10:00 AM
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What an asshole! ...You guys aren't even interested in MY side of the story ...I mean, I didn't kill HIS cat...It was just A cat (to show him that I was serious about killing him if he didn't...)

post #9 of 12 (permalink) Old 04-26-2004, 10:16 AM
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post #10 of 12 (permalink) Old 04-26-2004, 12:27 PM
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Wow!!!Psycho Bitch!!!
...from Hell!!!!!

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post #11 of 12 (permalink) Old 04-27-2004, 01:14 AM Thread Starter
 
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Here's one of my favorite stories from the site. For those who haven't read the site yet, he is Mil and his psychotic girlfriend is Margret.

Now, this is slightly scary and unsettling. I know I'm inclined to say that quite a lot, but what am I supposed to do about it? This is slightly scary and unsettling. You're going to get to the end of this and say, 'Ooo - that's slightly scary and unsettling, Mil,' that's just the simple fact of the matter. OK?
The other evening we had some friends round. We were all sitting in the living room and I was recounting something Margret had done a couple of days previously. Unfortunately, I can't remember what this thing was now, but I do recall it had happened in the car. So, given Margret and I stepping into a car together immediately invalidates our insurance (a Zen branch of homologous algebra states: Mil + Margret + Car = Small Child + Hammer + Land Mine), it could have been pretty much anything up to and including some kind of western movie-style showdown where - instead of being atop a train - Margret and I scrambled for control of a Colt .45 on the roof of our Vauxhall Corsa, as it careered, driverless, down the A5. As I say, I can't remember. Anyway, whatever it was, it was certainly (a) utterly outrageous and (b) utterly down to Margret. This is borne out by the look of numb, stunned disbelief that trembled on our friends' faces when I'd finished telling them the story. One of them turned to Margret and, incredulous, gasped, 'Did you really do that?'
'Yeah,' Margret laughed back, with a shy, 'you know how it is' shrug. Then she became pensive and her nose twisted a little in thought. 'But,' she continued, half to herself, 'I don't know if I'd have done it in real life.'
"In real life"?
What?
WHAT?
You're going 'Ooo - that's slightly scary and unsettling, Mil' now, aren't you?

Last edited by drbub22; 04-27-2004 at 01:23 AM.
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post #12 of 12 (permalink) Old 04-27-2004, 01:21 AM Thread Starter
 
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Ok, here's my other favorite. Are you getting an idea of her mental processes here, folks?

I'm not even going to try to dissect this. Why tie up both our mornings on a futile hunt for understanding, eh? I'm surely not going to be able to pick out anything - my searching fingers are now too callused, from running them along Margret's reasoning in an attempt to identify the scar where it's been imperfectly welded to reality. So, here we go, then.
I shuffle into the living room. It's first thing in the morning; I'm still in my night clothes, the children are circle-eyed and oval-mouthed - their faces distorted by the gravitational pull of the television screen - Margret is opening some post. I flop down on to the sofa.
Margret glances over at me. 'Have you got butter in your ear?' she asks, casually, before returning to her letters.
Briefly, I wonder if this is dream... too close to call, I decide - may as well just press on regardless.
I reach up and touch the side of my head. My finger returns with some shaving foam.
'It's shaving foam,' I reply.
Without looking up, Margret nods. 'Oh, right. It's so early - I didn't think you'd had time for a shave already.'
She thinks it's too early for me to have had a shave, everyone, yet easily late enough for me to have butter in my ear.
Move along, now. Nothing more to see here.
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