things to ponder....... - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 05-12-2004, 10:41 AM Thread Starter
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Spring Grove, IL
Posts: 18,082
Location: Spring Grove, IL
Sportbike: yz250f
Years Riding: 25 years
How you found us: dont recall
           
things to ponder.......

> 1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
>
> 2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.....
>
> 3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
>
> 4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys
> and
> apes?
>
> 5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all
> the bad
> girls live.
>
> 6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman,"Where's the
> self-help
> section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
>
> 7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?
>
> 8. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
>
> 9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself,
> is it
> considered a hostage situation?
>
> 10. Is there another word for synonym?
>
> 11. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
>
> 12. What should you do when you see an endangered animal eating an
> endangered plant?
>
> 13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
>
> 14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
>
> 15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone
> will
> clean them?
>
> 16. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
>
> 17. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
>
> 18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to
> remain silent?
>
> 19. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
>
> 20. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road
> signs?
>
> 21. What was the thing before sliced bread?
>
> 22. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
>
> 23. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
>
> 24. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
>
> 25. How is it possible to have a civil war?
>
> 26. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?
>
> 27. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
>
> 28. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
>
> 29. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it?
>
> 30. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?
>
> 31. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
>
> 32. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

Mike

When the tailgate drops..the bullshit stops
Hunt ethically - Hunt with a trained Retriever !
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 05-12-2004, 10:44 AM
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Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Mira Mesa Starbucks in San Diego,CA
Posts: 2,682
Location: Mira Mesa Starbucks in San Diego,CA
Sportbike: 2004 Red Kawasaki ZZR 600
Years Riding: since 2004
How you found us: My hubby Shane aka "Nickyfan"
           

<--------Paulette
__________________
Lord,
Grant me the Serenity to accept the fact that I can't pass them all,
The Courage to pass most...
And the Wisdom to hide the bodies of those who refuse to
GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY!!
"Number '69' All the Way!"
"GO NICKY HAYDEN!!!"

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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 05-12-2004, 11:00 AM
bwa
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Kalispell, MT
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Location: Kalispell, MT
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I don't know about some of those
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 05-12-2004, 12:52 PM
Please attend carefully..
 
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Chicago (NW side) 60707
Posts: 2,625
Location: Chicago (NW side) 60707
Sportbike: 2000 ZX6R (the green one!)
Years Riding: 2000
How you found us: I've been here a while...
           
What happens if you are scared half to death twice????

"Stupidity is also a gift of God, but one mustn't misuse it." - JP2

"Life is just a place where we spend time between games" - former Philadelphia Flyers coach Fred Shero

"everyone's a nutjob, some just have more restraint than others" - EndlessRR
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