I'm about to be the Dunkie in a Dunk Tank, I need some heckling suggestions. - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-09-2004, 12:32 PM Thread Starter
yo quiero su taco
 
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I'm about to be the Dunkie in a Dunk Tank, I need some heckling suggestions.

I am about to be the Dunkie in a Dunk Tank. I need some heckling suggestions that I can throw out to the Dunkers. It's a work function and fundraiser, so a few work-safe comments would be appreciated, but let's see what you've got!

"includes 10 used-car dealers or auto repair shops, 11 liquor stores and bars--two of which advertise lingerie fashion shows and a third billed as a "gentlemen's club"--three cut-rate motels and one trailer park. The squat, brick municipal building is next to a currency exchange and a few steps from an adult video store. The bars open at 10 a.m. and close at 6:30 a.m."

Quote:
Originally Posted by admin View Post
Something must be fishy...I am going to go poke around in the back end..
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post #2 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-09-2004, 12:36 PM
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worksafe heckling... I think thats an oxymoron.

Sean
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post #3 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-09-2004, 12:39 PM
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"oh yeah? well i had sex with your wife!"


george costanza used that one at work.

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post #4 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-09-2004, 12:40 PM
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post #5 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-09-2004, 12:40 PM Thread Starter
yo quiero su taco
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by MoTo178
worksafe heckling... I think thats an oxymoron.
Yeah, it's tough. I 'm looking for things like:

You couldn't hit the side of a barn.

I hope your throwing ability isn't an indication of your productivity.

You throw like a child.


"includes 10 used-car dealers or auto repair shops, 11 liquor stores and bars--two of which advertise lingerie fashion shows and a third billed as a "gentlemen's club"--three cut-rate motels and one trailer park. The squat, brick municipal building is next to a currency exchange and a few steps from an adult video store. The bars open at 10 a.m. and close at 6:30 a.m."

Quote:
Originally Posted by admin View Post
Something must be fishy...I am going to go poke around in the back end..
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post #6 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-09-2004, 12:40 PM
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Hey!! Nice balls!!

You throw like my sister!!

It's not your girlfriend's leg there, get mean!!

You can't hit that!! We'd have to put some hair around it and turn off the lights. (wait, that might be crossing the work safe line...)

<-------- Jeff


Hey baby! You ever been on the back of an expensive sportbike??


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post #7 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-09-2004, 12:41 PM
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post #8 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-09-2004, 12:45 PM
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Just accuse everyone of being a bedwetter. That one gets em everytime.

But seriously, I think you're missing a GREAT opportunity here. Think of all the dirt you could unleash in the name of good clean fun!

For instance: Is that all you got Sam?! No wonder Cindy looked so disappointed after you banged her in the copy room at the xmas party!

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post #9 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-09-2004, 12:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by QuickStudy
http://www.heckledepot.com/pitchers.shtml
i can't believe there is a heckling website
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post #10 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-09-2004, 12:51 PM Thread Starter
yo quiero su taco
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by Underdog
Just accuse everyone of being a bedwetter. That one gets em everytime.

But seriously, I think you're missing a GREAT opportunity here. Think of all the dirt you could unleash in the name of good clean fun!

For instance: Is that all you got Sam?! No wonder Cindy looked so disappointed after you banged her in the copy room at the xmas party!
I shouldn't read stuff like this, because I might let one slip.

All of your comments are great! These are hilarious! lol Keep em coming, even the dirty ones.

"includes 10 used-car dealers or auto repair shops, 11 liquor stores and bars--two of which advertise lingerie fashion shows and a third billed as a "gentlemen's club"--three cut-rate motels and one trailer park. The squat, brick municipal building is next to a currency exchange and a few steps from an adult video store. The bars open at 10 a.m. and close at 6:30 a.m."

Quote:
Originally Posted by admin View Post
Something must be fishy...I am going to go poke around in the back end..
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post #11 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-09-2004, 01:02 PM
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Gee, I wish YOUR DAD hit targets that badly...
post #12 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-09-2004, 01:05 PM
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when your boss is up there throwing.

"hey!, remember that time you were outta town on business?, yeah i was banging your wife on your desk!!, while your sister video taped it!!"

-Mopar

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post #13 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-09-2004, 01:07 PM
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"hey!, i've seen your dauther naked.. do you have a birthmark like that too?"

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post #14 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-09-2004, 03:25 PM
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post #15 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-09-2004, 03:28 PM
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To your boss-"You know i hate you right?"

Fellow co-worker-"Hey dude, i just told the boss you fucked his wife"

Quote:
Originally Posted by G2G
No one says you have to get drunk everytime you drink.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Snoodles
Isn't that like having sex and not finishing though?
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post #16 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-09-2004, 03:59 PM
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Cute kid, looks just like his/her real dad.

Next time you dress yourself, don't forget to stay home.

If you wore that to the office we wouldn't make so many doughnut jokes.

Maybe your wrist would have more snap if you stopped wearing high heals.

With all the web surfing you do at work, I'd expect you'd at least have a strong forearm by now.

Anyone have any arm viagra?

How's your wife and my kids?

I've seen more snap in a pea pod.

Can I get two boxes of thin mints Sally?

*to a guy taking off his hat* WHOA, put it back on Dumbo.

Hit the target already! I'm as dry as your wife.

JIM! I never knew you liked women.

JIM! Is this the new girlfriend?

JIM! Are you still dating that red head I met last month?

*To a guy with a strong arm* - WOW, with an arm like that we can tell who sleeps on the couch.


That's it... most are clean enough that kids won't know better.
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post #17 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-09-2004, 04:03 PM
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Shouldn't you be at home blowing up the tires on your house??

<-------- Jeff


Hey baby! You ever been on the back of an expensive sportbike??


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post #18 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-09-2004, 04:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Slycer
How's your wife and my kids?
Careful with that one... You might get the comeback, "wife's fine... kid's retarded" And no-one wants that...

<-------- Jeff


Hey baby! You ever been on the back of an expensive sportbike??


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post #19 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-09-2004, 04:59 PM
 
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Tough to touch Pirate and Slycer, but...

Why don't we give your wife a try, she's better at grabbing my balls
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post #20 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-09-2004, 05:35 PM
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post #21 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-09-2004, 06:27 PM
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Your mamma jokes work great for this.D

I'm not crazy, my mother had me tested.
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post #22 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-10-2004, 01:39 AM Thread Starter
yo quiero su taco
 
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Damn, you guys are good. lol Thanks guys, this is exactly what I was looking for. I had some great material for the event. We brought in over $2000 in two hours! :

"includes 10 used-car dealers or auto repair shops, 11 liquor stores and bars--two of which advertise lingerie fashion shows and a third billed as a "gentlemen's club"--three cut-rate motels and one trailer park. The squat, brick municipal building is next to a currency exchange and a few steps from an adult video store. The bars open at 10 a.m. and close at 6:30 a.m."

Quote:
Originally Posted by admin View Post
Something must be fishy...I am going to go poke around in the back end..

Last edited by whiteSeatEnvy; 07-10-2004 at 01:41 AM.
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