A plea for HELP! - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 11 (permalink) Old 08-30-2002, 09:13 AM Thread Starter
 
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A plea for HELP!

A PLEA FOR HELP!

This year Americans have come together as never before in our generation. We have banded together to overcome tremendous adversity. We have weathered direct attacks on our own soil, wars overseas, corporate scandal, layoffs, unemployment, stock price plunges, droughts, fires, and a myriad of economic and physical disasters both great and small. But now, we must come together once again to overcome our greatest challenge yet.

Hundreds of Major League Baseball players in our very own nation are living at, just below, or in most cases far above the seven-figure salary level. And as if that weren't bad enough they could be deprived of their life giving pay for several months, possibly longer, as a result of the upcoming strike situation.

But you can help!

For only $20,835 a month, about $694.50 a day (that's less than the cost of a large screen projection TV) you can help a MLB player remain economically viable during his time of need. This contribution by no means solves the problem as it barely covers the annual minimum salary, but it's a start, and every little bit will help!

Although $700 may not seem like a lot of money to you, to a baseball player it could mean the difference between spending the strike golfing in Florida or on a Mediterranean cruise. For you, seven hundred dollars is nothing more than a month's rent, half a mortgage payment, two unemployment checks, or a month of medical insurance with COBRA, but to a baseball player, $700 will partially replace his daily salary.

Your commitment of less than $700 a day will enable a player to buy that home entertainment center, trade in the year-old Lexus for a new Ferrari, or enjoy a weekend in Rio.

HOW WILL I KNOW I'M HELPING?

Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the player you sponsor. Detailed information about his stocks, bonds, 401(k), real estate, and other investment holdings will be mailed to your home. Plus, upon signing up for this program, you will receive an unsigned photo of the player lounging during the strike on a beach somewhere in the Caribbean (for a signed photo, please include an additional $150). Put the photo on your refrigerator to remind you of other peoples' suffering.

HOW WILL HE KNOW I'M HELPING?

Your MLB player will be told that he has a SPECIAL FRIEND who just wants to Help in a time of need. Although the player won't know your name, he will be able to make collect calls to your home via a special operator in case additional funds are needed for unforeseen expenses.

YES, I WANT TO HELP!

I would like to sponsor a striking MLB player. My preference is checked below:

[ ] Infielder [ ] Outfielder [ ] Starting Pitcher [ ] Ace Pitcher [ ]Entire
team
(Please call our 900 number to ask for the cost of a specific team - $10 per minute) [ ] Alex Rodriguez (Higher cost:$60,000 per day)

Please charge the account listed below $694.50 per day for the player for the duration of the strike. Please send me a picture of the player I have sponsored, along with an Alex Rodriguez 2001 Income Statement and my very own Donald Fehr MLB Players Union pin to wear proudly on my hat (include $80 for hat).

Your Name: _______________________
Telephone Number: ____________________
Account Number: _____________________
Exp.Date:_______
[ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ]Discover
Signature: _______________________

Alternate card (when the primary card exceeds its credit limit):
Account Number: _____________________Exp.Date:_______
[ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Discover
Signature: _______________________

Mail completed form to: MLB Players Union or call 1-900-SCREW-THE-FANS now to enroll by phone ($10 per minute).
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post #2 of 11 (permalink) Old 08-30-2002, 09:17 AM
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That is just priceless. Good find!

Kim
CCS AM #815 - the cute, fuzzy, yellow, spoiled-rotten half of Team Duc Tape!
I break stuff
Duck, duck, duck, GUZ!
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post #3 of 11 (permalink) Old 08-30-2002, 09:20 AM
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post #4 of 11 (permalink) Old 08-30-2002, 09:25 AM
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That is hilarious!

I think we have enough track people that we could start one of these for us too. For a mere $500 a month you too could cover the expensive items like tires, entry fees, etc...

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post #5 of 11 (permalink) Old 08-30-2002, 09:25 AM
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copy..paste...email to friends

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post #6 of 11 (permalink) Old 08-30-2002, 10:51 AM
Who's faster Lupi
 
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Where do I send the check.

NESBA #456 Intermediate
Always 1 step ahead of Lupi. 1:24:7 BHF
And 1 step behind Kimmy

"SoB gets to spend yet ANOTHER season faster than me." -LUPI-
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post #7 of 11 (permalink) Old 08-30-2002, 11:00 AM
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Hook me up with some of that help. Damn baseball players are ridiculous.
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post #8 of 11 (permalink) Old 08-30-2002, 11:10 AM
BEER!
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by lovebothkats
That is hilarious!

I think we have enough track people that we could start one of these for us too. For a mere $500 a month you too could cover the expensive items like tires, entry fees, etc...

People, don't sponsor LBK..for a mere $300 you can sponsor ME. (non racer, it's cheaper). Well, less expensive would be more accurate.

Chris

NESBA/CCS #142
AIM: GroverSV650S
Dirtbikes are not submarines
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post #9 of 11 (permalink) Old 08-30-2002, 01:38 PM
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now that is too funny.

Life is too short to ride anything but an R1

In memory of FastBlueR1...RIP

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post #10 of 11 (permalink) Old 09-03-2002, 11:36 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by GroverSV650S


People, don't sponsor LBK..for a mere $300 you can sponsor ME. (non racer, it's cheaper). Well, less expensive would be more accurate.

Chris
Trying to steel possible sponsors. You gotta watch those SV riders they are backstabbers I tell you. Grover already told me he was going to be the first to donate, now he is here trying to steel possible supporters.
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post #11 of 11 (permalink) Old 09-03-2002, 12:00 PM Thread Starter
 
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I tell ya... you just can't trust nobody these days!
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