What to do with bike theives... - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 23 (permalink) Old 09-04-2002, 05:59 PM Thread Starter
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What to do with bike theives...

So I'm bored cuz I have no ride, and of coarse this topics been on my mind. I thought I would get some ideas for when I catch them doing it again. BTW, they cleaned out the whole street. My roomates truck got its hubcaps and spare tire stolen. My neighbor got his mountain bikes stolen, and some other cars got broke into and stuff stolen out of them.

SOOOOOOOOOOoooooo..........

I will knock those sally's unconscious with a tire iron across their face. Then they will wake up in a bathtub full of ice. They wont be able to move though since I would have allready broken both of their arms and legs. Then I'll explain to them how much more money I am going to make by "parting" them out, than they did parting my bike out.

Hey, I watch the news! I know whats going on with the Black Market stuff. Hell, from what I hear you can fetch like $15,000 for one kidney. They won't need any, so that a cool $30,000 right there. Eyes and heart go for MUCH more, so the way I see it, I could give the bastards a taste of their own medicine while making enough money to replace my bike a few times over.

I hope they ride my bike straight into a bridge embankment! Thank you, and GOOD NIGHT!!!!

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post #2 of 23 (permalink) Old 09-04-2002, 06:02 PM
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Soooo.. when this plan goes into action, can I get a new bike? Or, you know, just lemme get one of their eyeballs or something and I'll sell it myself unless you've got the Black Market hookup or something.
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post #3 of 23 (permalink) Old 09-04-2002, 06:06 PM Thread Starter
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thats a good point Max. I figure since they are the theivs, they should have some black market hookups. I could torture them until they tell me who I can call to "donate" organs. Then tell them whose organs are being donated.

Sure, I'll get you whateva you want. Depending on how the black market is doing these days of course.

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post #4 of 23 (permalink) Old 09-04-2002, 06:51 PM
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if i was you screw all that, i myself take my pleasure of redemption in torture
heres a list of things i find to be VERY painful but yet leave the subject the ability to still stay conches

1. Take a sturdy steak nife..and slowly!, protrude under all the fingernails and pry off the nails.

2. Proceed to the toe nails and repeat.

3. Slowly cut off the ears at the base of the head.

4. Pull away with pliers and with SHARP sizers cut away the upper eye lid.

5. With a 5 pound sledge hammer...place the subject hands on a FIRM table or concrete floor and proceed to SMASH all the digits 1 by 1 then proceed to the toes.

I could keep going with a 100 more items to do..but if you and him are still conches give me a buzz so I can help and show the beauty of torture in its classiest form.

ALSO common house hold ammonia will help waken the subject is he passes out.



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post #5 of 23 (permalink) Old 09-04-2002, 06:55 PM
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Oh my goodness, Ken, that's crazy. And you sound like you've had experience with this stuff! ;>---
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post #6 of 23 (permalink) Old 09-04-2002, 08:26 PM
 
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wow now thats torture i was thinking of a quartering. where we could take four bikes and tie each limb to one bike and take off in different directions. or maybe what they did to mel gibson at the end of braveheart or a real good curb kicking yeah.
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post #7 of 23 (permalink) Old 09-04-2002, 09:04 PM
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nahh i never done stuff like that before...i found it all in a book somewhere



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post #8 of 23 (permalink) Old 09-04-2002, 09:36 PM
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Ken's got some good ideas... mine are more centered around a surgical knife, glass eyedropper and hyrdochloric acid...

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post #9 of 23 (permalink) Old 09-04-2002, 09:42 PM
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Ive always had this fantasy of using the little key thingy to open sardine cans with on someones nails wether it be fingers or toes dont really matter, just roll them up.....LOL

A dremmel tool on teeth would be fun..... Well wouldnt it?

This is gonna hurt!
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post #10 of 23 (permalink) Old 09-04-2002, 11:08 PM
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That sardine can idea gives me the heebe geebies.

Could use a wire band and twist theire fingers and toes off one digit at a time.

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post #11 of 23 (permalink) Old 09-04-2002, 11:10 PM
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that LARGE sardine twisty only breaks the nail in half.

also to cut digits off you should use piano wire



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post #12 of 23 (permalink) Old 09-05-2002, 05:31 AM
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post #13 of 23 (permalink) Old 09-05-2002, 06:14 AM
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I have always had partial prefrence to the Sicilian neck tie. Slice their throat then reach in , pull out their tongue and just let it hang like a neck tie.

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post #14 of 23 (permalink) Old 09-05-2002, 08:44 AM
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You guys need some help, seems a little extreme.

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post #15 of 23 (permalink) Old 09-05-2002, 09:28 AM
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Quote:
Hey, I watch the news! I know whats going on with the Black Market stuff. Hell, from what I hear you can fetch like $15,000 for one kidney. They won't need any, so that a cool $30,000 right there. Eyes and heart go for MUCH more, so the way I see it, I could give the bastards a taste of their own medicine while making enough money to replace my bike a few times over.
Sweet, MV Augusta here I come!


Quote:
also to cut digits off you should use piano wire
Only Saftey Wire Please ( for continuity purposes )
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post #16 of 23 (permalink) Old 09-05-2002, 09:39 AM
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You guys need some help, seems a little extreme.
so what're ya saying? there are ways to do payback without killing 'em?
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post #17 of 23 (permalink) Old 09-05-2002, 12:46 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by HooliganZX6
Ive always had this fantasy of using the little key thingy to open sardine cans with on someones nails wether it be fingers or toes dont really matter, just roll them up.....LOL

A dremmel tool on teeth would be fun..... Well wouldnt it?
If THAT's a fantasy... what the hell is your nightmare like?
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post #18 of 23 (permalink) Old 09-05-2002, 12:48 PM
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How about having them drawn and quartered?

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post #19 of 23 (permalink) Old 09-05-2002, 12:48 PM
 
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yes actually there are read in a book somewhere which is pretty graphic that there is a torture where you need a mallet and a small glass rod. the result is everytime that person uses the washroom he will always be in trmendous pain.
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post #20 of 23 (permalink) Old 09-05-2002, 01:24 PM
 
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question

so I'm assuming that those krypto disc locks aren't worth
shit then right??

My buddy had his yellow 955i stolen in the city but he said
that nobody bothers you if you actually decide to lock it.

what is your $.02? I'm curious
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post #21 of 23 (permalink) Old 09-05-2002, 02:31 PM Thread Starter
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Just like Micheal said. If they want it they will take it. A disc lock would prolly stop someone from walking by and deciding to push it over to their house, but if someones been watching and waiting for the right moment, they will be prepared and will just pick the whole thing up and throw it on a truck.

I had a nice Kryptonite Disc Lock on it. All that prolly did was stop them from being able to sell the front disc rotor.

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post #22 of 23 (permalink) Old 09-05-2002, 02:37 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by MoTo178
I had a nice Kryptonite Disc Lock on it. All that prolly did was stop them from being able to sell the front disc rotor.
5 minutes and a plasma cutter we'll take care of that.

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post #23 of 23 (permalink) Old 09-05-2002, 08:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by MeggysGixxer


If THAT's a fantasy... what the hell is your nightmare like?

Having it done to me!

This is gonna hurt!
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