You Tech guys should like this one. - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 13 (permalink) Old 10-01-2002, 08:19 AM Thread Starter
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Talking You Tech guys should like this one.

If IBM made motorcycles...
They would want one big bike that people can ride if they first submit (for overnight processing) a request to use the resources. Thousands of other users could use the bike at the same time due to its ability to efficiently schedule use of the major components. IBM would claim a worldwide market for five, maybe, six motorcycles.
If Radio Shack made motorcycles...
The staff would sell you a bike but do not know anything about it. Or you could buy all the parts to build your own bike!
If Oracle made bikes...
They'd claim their motorcycle was compatible with all types and styles of riders, but when you got it home you'd discover the Cruising Engine was still in development, the Short Rider's Support Extension was three years away, and that indeed the whole thing was just blowing smoke (Hey! Like an old Harley!).
If Sun Microsystems made motorcycles...
The oil would burn often, but you could get a really good cuppa Java.
Does DEC still make bikes?...
They made good motorcycles in the '80s, didn't they?
If Hewlett-Packard made motorcycles...
They would market the Reverse Polish Gear Shift Procedure, which requires the driver to shift gears with his right hand, engage the clutch with his left foot, brake with left hand and right foot.
If Cray made motorcycles...
They would cost $16 million but would be faster than any other motorcycle in the world.
If Sony made motorcycles...
The BikeMan, which would be barely larger than a skateboard, can be conveniently attached to your belt (whether you're using it or not).
If Price Club/CostCo made motorcycles...
They'd be really cheap, as long as you bought a six-pack of 'em.
And, of course: if Microsoft made motorcycles...
Motorcycle '95 would weigh 15,000 pounds (hence requiring a pair of reinforced steel wheels), would offer a 'plug and drive' way to connect new add-ons to your bike (chrome, J&M radios, Widder electrics, etc. would all be easily added to your bike's operating system registry), take up 95% of the space in your garage, would claim to be the first bike that lets you control how how much fuel is mixed with air while the engine is running without knowing any special skills, and would secretly interrogate your other vehicles to find out who made them.
Everyone would hate Microsoft motorcycles, but nonetheless would buy them since most of the good add-ons from J&M, Big Bike, Show Chrome, Markland et al. only work with Microsoft motorcycles.

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post #2 of 13 (permalink) Old 10-01-2002, 12:32 PM
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post #3 of 13 (permalink) Old 10-01-2002, 12:43 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally posted by Michael
i hate microsoft!
Funny I hear that from more tech guys.

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post #4 of 13 (permalink) Old 10-01-2002, 01:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Michael
i hate microsoft!
RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!laughing d laughing d laughing d
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post #5 of 13 (permalink) Old 10-01-2002, 01:22 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally posted by Jack


RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!laughing d laughing d laughing d
Tell me about it. That's why I posted this. It just surprises me that Linox isn't more popular since everyone who uses it loves it, and everyone who uses MS hate it.

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post #6 of 13 (permalink) Old 10-01-2002, 01:25 PM
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see the latest trend of Apple's adveertising. Outright bashing of MS. Gota love it. But I wouldn't go Mac.

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post #7 of 13 (permalink) Old 10-01-2002, 01:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Crazy


Tell me about it. That's why I posted this. It just surprises me that Linox isn't more popular since everyone who uses it loves it, and everyone who uses MS hate it.
I'm a huge Microsoft supporter. I don't hate Microsoft or its products. In fact I'm amazed at what tools they've provided me with, both as a user and a developer. They've driven this industry to where it is today and it's incredible what we can do.
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post #8 of 13 (permalink) Old 10-01-2002, 01:51 PM
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And if Apple made motorcycles they would be more expensive, but they would never crash. You'd have to use Apple brand gas, oil, and tires and they would be constantly showing commercials to get people to switch to their bikes.
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post #9 of 13 (permalink) Old 10-01-2002, 01:52 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally posted by Jack


I'm a huge Microsoft supporter. I don't hate Microsoft or its products. In fact I'm amazed at what tools they've provided me with, both as a user and a developer. They've driven this industry to where it is today and it's incredible what we can do.

I think on a personal basis most people love it. It seems that when you add the networking and programming aspect people just get ticked off at the corporate crap that creates limitations

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post #10 of 13 (permalink) Old 10-01-2002, 02:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Crazy
I think on a personal basis most people love it. It seems that when you add the networking and programming aspect people just get ticked off at the corporate crap that creates limitations
Nah, I just think people like the bash the big guy. I understand, and not everything is perfect. But dang, looking back at how things use to be??? Wow...

Development today is SOOOO much easier. Before windows we had to develop our own user interface, drivers for everyone's display devices, periperhals like printers, etc. Debugging, Internationalization, networking, security, the list goes on and on.
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post #11 of 13 (permalink) Old 10-01-2002, 02:07 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally posted by Jack


Nah, I just think people like the bash the big guy. I understand, and not everything is perfect. But dang, looking back at how things use to be??? Wow...

Development today is SOOOO much easier. Before windows we had to develop our own user interface, drivers for everyone's display devices, periperhals like printers, etc. Debugging, Internationalization, networking, security, the list goes on and on.
Maybe, I'm probably not qualified enough to make a good judgement. I'm just going by what some friends have said.

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post #12 of 13 (permalink) Old 10-01-2002, 03:41 PM
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Mac has its place. Just not in my house or work. And I agree with Jack as well. They've come a long way.

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post #13 of 13 (permalink) Old 10-01-2002, 09:39 PM
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If Enron made motorcycles....

It would look like a new 2002, but the various nuts and gaskets on the inside would be spread across several garages in the Bahamas, Cayman islands, etc.

If Worldcom made motorcycles...

In the middle of a long ride the 4.5 gallon fuel tank would have to restate the amount of gas used from 1 to 5 gallons automatically stranding you out in the middle of nowhere.

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