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post #1 of 44 (permalink) Old 04-26-2005, 07:31 PM Thread Starter
 
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Student Teacher Relations

I have been having problems with one of my teachers making inappropriate comments towards me in class. He does it in front of all the other students, and it makes them uncomfortable as well, because they know thats its wrong too. It has been going on all semester, but nothing really bad until last Tuesday.

We were talking about getting and holding a welding job, and he started talking about how when going to an interview we should be clean shaven. Then he turned to me and said "That means you need to shave your legs and armpits." He continued by saying "I bet she doesnt even shave her armpits." He found it hilariously funny, but I was fuming and the rest of the class didnt even know what to say.

Then a little while later we were talking about different types of personalities. He said he had taken a personality test and one of the questions was about how you slept at night. He asked me how I slept, and being a blonde, I didnt get right away that it was said in a sexual manner. So I answered that I slept on my side because I was used to my dogs cuddling up next to me. Doug then said, "That makes you a caregiver, I bet you are great with kids." Im horrible with kids, and told him so, so he said "Then I hope you are on birth control." It doenst sound like a big thing, but the way he said it, his tone of voice, was rude and made me feel like shit. I dont know how to explain it. I really didnt know what to say to that one, and just looked at my friend Ethan for help, he was bright red and obviously pissed too.

Next, he talked about wearing clean clothes, and mentioned that I wore Wranglers every day. Which is true. But the only way he would know that is if he was looking at the back pockets where the Wrangler logo is. And if hes looking at the back pockets...hes probably not looking at my back pockets.

Other comments were made about me going out with all kinds of boys and going dancing all night. He said he bet I was at The Ranch (a big country bar in town) every night with a different guy. He has also asked Ethan if we had ever "hooked up", and expressed interest in details.
Last but not least, I hurt my hand and needed an icepack. He held the icepack on my hand, saying "Look, I get to hold her hand." Then rubbed my palm with his thumb a little.

All of this happened last Tuesday. I didnt go to class on Thurs because I didnt want to be around him. Today Ethan finally convinced me to go talk to the Dean of Students and hopefully get it taken care of, because it was really bothering me. I talked to the Dean today and he was really nice. He didnt turn it into a big deal, but promised to get it taken care of. I actually felt like he was on my side, which was not really what I expected.

Do you guys think that I am making a big deal out of nothing, or is this more serious? I have never been in this situation and dont really know what to think or do. I told my mom a few of the things he said and she was a little upset, but I really didnt tell her anything. She knows I dont like him, but has never asked me any questions. Im afraid that the school will end up taking his side, or that they will think I am making it up because I am one weld behind in my class. I really am uncomfortable around him, but what if Im just blowing things out of proportion? Grrr, this is frustrating. Anyway, if anyone has some advice, I would really apprechiate it.
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post #2 of 44 (permalink) Old 04-26-2005, 07:36 PM
 
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I definitely think you did the right thing, should even have gone to the dean sooner. The school will definitely take your side on this, they have a lot of liability involved in it and they take these accusations very seriously. He's definitely in the wrong and you did the right thing.

-Jeff-
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post #3 of 44 (permalink) Old 04-26-2005, 07:40 PM
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You should have gone to him first and told him his comments make you feel uncomfortable.

"includes 10 used-car dealers or auto repair shops, 11 liquor stores and bars--two of which advertise lingerie fashion shows and a third billed as a "gentlemen's club"--three cut-rate motels and one trailer park. The squat, brick municipal building is next to a currency exchange and a few steps from an adult video store. The bars open at 10 a.m. and close at 6:30 a.m."

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post #4 of 44 (permalink) Old 04-26-2005, 07:43 PM
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TB I think you did the right thing. Normally I would say go to him and tell him you are uncomfortable with his comments, but I have a feeling that would have either made the comments worse or have made things to very awkward between you two. I think going to the Dean of Students was a good idea. Good luck and I hope the teacher straightens up.

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post #5 of 44 (permalink) Old 04-26-2005, 07:56 PM
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I woulda confronted him about it frist, but i can see y you wouldn't have wanted to. If i was a chick though, and he made a smart ass remark i'd bite back and embarass him in front of the whole class

Hope that guys gets put in his place.
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post #6 of 44 (permalink) Old 04-26-2005, 08:06 PM
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You are definitely not blowing this out of proportion from the perspective you described. I think you did the right thing, if anything you should have gone to the dean earlier. I agree going to the instructor first would likely make it worse or at the very least awkward, which may happen anyway. Hope this is dealt with properly, in my opinion this type of thing is a serious matter. Good job for sticking up and let us know how it pans out

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post #7 of 44 (permalink) Old 04-26-2005, 08:19 PM
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you did the right thing, I think if you would have verbally retaliated you would have established a style of conversation and possibly made if hard to build a case against him. By talking to the dean you have done your part, he will be talked to and you can expect some sort of half hearted apology, he will be of course be surprised by your reaction. I think if you would have confronted him on your own it would have put you in an uncomfortable position, you're a student and didn't do anything wrong.

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post #8 of 44 (permalink) Old 04-26-2005, 08:36 PM
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The only thing i can possibly think of to make it somewhat worthy would be to have an apology given to you in front of the class as he so irresponsibly degraded you. If its not a "realistic" apology than tell him so and go back to the D of S.

If you or anyone is put in an uncomfortable situation such as that then it needs to be addressed. Partly because the offending person may not even realize what they said or did.

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post #9 of 44 (permalink) Old 04-26-2005, 08:52 PM
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You did the wright thing by reporting him. You have to put a stop to that sort of thing when it first starts or it will never end peacefully. In the future I'd carry a tape recorder and leave it on "recording" while in class to get his comments on tape and make sure that you let him know that his comments are out of place and they make you feel uncomfortable. That way you'll have evidence on tape.
The next time he makes a comment that upsets you tell him to stop spanking his monkey and find himself a woman instead of making rude comments towards you.


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post #10 of 44 (permalink) Old 04-26-2005, 08:59 PM Thread Starter
 
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Thanks guys for the encouragement. I really didnt want to go to him first, because I just dont think he would care. One of my classmates has already told him that I dont like his comments, and he made a jerking off motion and said he didnt care. Next year he will be teaching Economics, so hes going to be around more girls than in Welding class. Hopefully hes nicer to them!
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post #11 of 44 (permalink) Old 04-26-2005, 09:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Texas Blonde
One of my classmates has already told him that I dont like his comments, and he made a jerking off motion and said he didnt care.

!!! this guy's an ass.

"includes 10 used-car dealers or auto repair shops, 11 liquor stores and bars--two of which advertise lingerie fashion shows and a third billed as a "gentlemen's club"--three cut-rate motels and one trailer park. The squat, brick municipal building is next to a currency exchange and a few steps from an adult video store. The bars open at 10 a.m. and close at 6:30 a.m."

Quote:
Originally Posted by admin View Post
Something must be fishy...I am going to go poke around in the back end..

Last edited by whiteSeatEnvy; 04-26-2005 at 09:06 PM.
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post #12 of 44 (permalink) Old 04-26-2005, 09:18 PM
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I say he's lucky you aren't suing for sexual harassment

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post #13 of 44 (permalink) Old 04-26-2005, 09:20 PM Thread Starter
 
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Just got a call from Ethan. The Dean of Students went to talk to my teacher (Doug). They went outside, but Ethans booth is right by the door and he heard Doug raise his voice. For some reason Im scared that Im going to get in trouble. I hope everything goes well!
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post #14 of 44 (permalink) Old 04-26-2005, 09:22 PM
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You defintely shouldn't have to deal with that crap. In today's society, professional's that work around children/students should know DAMN WELL to watch their comments, as anything, even taken out of context, can get them in trouble.
For him to be mouthing off like that, he either isn't very bright, or dioesn't like his job (or money).

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post #15 of 44 (permalink) Old 04-26-2005, 09:58 PM
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You WILL NOT get in trouble, as you've done nothing wrong, nothing to provoke it, and nothing to encourage its continuation. This is on him, not you. If he behaves like this is all your fault and poor treatment continues, consider legal action and discuss with (not threaten) the Dean of possible legal action. Sounds like the dean will get things taken care of

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Last edited by kc6; 04-26-2005 at 10:00 PM.
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post #16 of 44 (permalink) Old 04-26-2005, 10:08 PM
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He should incur some penalty for those sort of comments, that's totally uncalled for.
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post #17 of 44 (permalink) Old 04-27-2005, 01:12 AM
 
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You did the right thing. This idiot needs to learn this lesson ASAP, especially before he gets to teach another class. Definitely carry a small tape recorder with you. Any teacher that cannot conduct himself like a gentleman does not deserve to be teaching young ladies.
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post #18 of 44 (permalink) Old 04-27-2005, 08:51 AM
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I think you did the right thing. I would flip if school wasn't a safe haven from advances from creepy old men.

The guys gonna be pissed, but he would have been pissed if you said something to him first instead of the dean, so I think it's better if his boss knows. Just in case he tries to screw around with you any further.



So, with that out of the way. Did you and Ethan hook up? Any details?


















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post #19 of 44 (permalink) Old 04-27-2005, 09:18 AM
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Cool

I would if need be try to get some of the other students to talk to the Dean also, that way it doesn't look 1 sided with no witness's.

I hope everything works out for you in the end. Or just run his ass over with your Jeep J/K of course


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post #20 of 44 (permalink) Old 04-27-2005, 09:38 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Texas Blonde
Just got a call from Ethan. The Dean of Students went to talk to my teacher (Doug). They went outside, but Ethans booth is right by the door and he heard Doug raise his voice. For some reason Im scared that Im going to get in trouble. I hope everything goes well!
In trouble for what? Demanding respect? Your teacher should in no way retaliate for being reported. Then again, sounding as ignorant as he does he just may. Whether he does or not you've got him by the gonads by handling the situation the way you did. My hats off to you.


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post #21 of 44 (permalink) Old 04-27-2005, 10:13 AM
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after you talked to the dean you should have called a lawyer. I know you wouldn't mind paying for a NEW bike in cash right?

edit: I would pick up a small tape recorder ASAP. get everything on tape and take it to your lawyer
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post #22 of 44 (permalink) Old 04-27-2005, 10:16 AM
 
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You should bring a tape recorder to class and record everything. Then you should have some students write down on paper what he has said in the past. Just be prepared for the worst, in case it goes that far. He can deny everything to the dean.
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post #23 of 44 (permalink) Old 04-27-2005, 04:25 PM Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NickIF
after you talked to the dean you should have called a lawyer. I know you wouldn't mind paying for a NEW bike in cash right?

edit: I would pick up a small tape recorder ASAP. get everything on tape and take it to your lawyer

God that sounds so good.... (<--- me on a 929 )

If the dean doesnt do anything, I will threaten legal action. I just dont know if I could go through with it. And the way my parents are, I doubt they would be behind me 100%. Im going to talk to my mom about it for the first time today.

There are only two weeks left in the class, so I dont think there is time to get anything on tape. But I can get writen testimonies from alot of the people in the class.
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post #24 of 44 (permalink) Old 04-27-2005, 04:52 PM
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TB,
You still have two weeks in class - Like that isn't enough time for him to be rude and disrepectfull to you again?
I say go for it, pick up or borrow a pocket recorder....just to be on the safe side.
To address your original post, I think that you did the right thing too.
If ole Dougie boy gets out of hand, we may have to form a CLSB posse to take him out back to the wood shed!

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post #25 of 44 (permalink) Old 04-27-2005, 04:54 PM
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What an ass.
Just get the tape recorder. with 2 weeks left, that's plenty of time for him to put his foot in his mouth. The way this guy sounds he might even say something about in class. You can't deny what you said if it's on tape.

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post #26 of 44 (permalink) Old 04-27-2005, 05:00 PM
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You certainly did the right thing and you may wish to document the things that have been said and have any willing classmates, such as Ethan, sign the summary for presentation to the Dean. Then, if such comments are made again, in no uncertain terms let him know that you will not tolerate disrespect. Say it in front of the class when it happens and let him know that should your grade suddenly take a turn for the worst that he, and the school, will hear from your attorney. Then contact the local legal aid society. They will usually take student cases for very little, or free of charge.

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post #27 of 44 (permalink) Old 04-28-2005, 01:04 PM
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100% behind ya. If the guy was just some random guy... I'd think you'd be better off confronting him directly, but since it's someone with your future at least partially under their thumb, you need to contact a lawyer. The jokes I could let slide, but him having any sort of physical contact with you (like rubbing your hand while making a sexual inuendo) is clearly harassment, and at the very least should cause a departmental review of his record.

Because there was contact, and because you felt so uncomfortable that you couldn't go to class (a class that you paid for), you shouldn't have any troubles finding a lawyer.
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post #28 of 44 (permalink) Old 04-28-2005, 01:22 PM Thread Starter
 
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The Dean of Students called me yesterday and said that he had a talk with Doug. According to him Doug had no idea he was making me uncomfortable, which I think is a lie. When someonesn face turns red, and they look away when you make a joke about them, it should be pretty fucking obvious. My parents want me to finish the class, no matter the grade. I have already decided to retake it because I missed alot not wanting to go to class and be around him. Im going to go tonight. And if he says a single thing to me, I will leave and tell him my attorney will contact him. The problem is my parents. They wont pay for any more school if I dont finish this class. So Im kind of stuck. My mom didnt really even seem to believe me about what I said, which is about the reaction I expected. I dont talk to my dad, but I know that he would find a way to blame this on me somehow. Its makes it even more frustrating, because I would really like their support right now. Anyway, I will let yall know how it goes tonight.
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post #29 of 44 (permalink) Old 04-28-2005, 01:25 PM
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post #30 of 44 (permalink) Old 04-28-2005, 01:41 PM
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Hang tough.....the guy saying he didnt know that he was making you uncomfortable is bull sh&t. Hes a predator.

Just the fact that he did the toss-off hand gesture, shows that he should be in no position of authority, be it in corporate mangement or instructing students

What a F*&^ing putz!

We all put our potentially offensive remarks on these boards, sexual and otherwise, but its in different context and under different circumstance I dont think anyone here takes anyone elses posts to heart..(cept me cause I am sensitive)

This guy should be taken to task!

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