Things NOT to Say When You are Pulled Over:
No, YOU assume the position.
I'm surprised you stopped me, Dunkin Donuts has a 3 for 1 special!
If I bend over, will I still get a ticket?
No, offi, offic, lucifer . . . I'm not as think you are drunk I am. I swear to dog.
No, I don't know how fast I was going. The little needle stops at 140.
Back off Barney, I've got a piece.
Want to race to the station, Sparky?
Nice bike, copper. What is it, a Honda Pacific Coast?
I know I was weaving, but I was trying to hit all the little green men!
I know I was weaving, I was practicing counter-steering!
I know I was weaving, there's a lot of wind chop above 110 mph.
On the way to the station let's get a six pack.
You'll never get those cuffs on me. . . You Homo!
Come on write the damn ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes!
Hey, wasn't your daughter a porn queen?
How long is this going to take? Your wife is expecting me.
Hey officer is that your nightstick or are you just glad to see me?
What do you use those rubber gloves for?