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post #1 of 91 (permalink) Old 05-02-2005, 04:46 PM Thread Starter
 
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Need some help with girl

Ok well my girlfriend is telling me she might be pregnant! wtf is MIGHT be. So I told her to go get that test and make sure she isnt for sure. My ? for all of you is if she is pregnant, how many of you would have the baby, and how many of you would get an abortion? Keep in mind that we are both 18....



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post #2 of 91 (permalink) Old 05-02-2005, 04:51 PM
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start praying she gets her period.

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post #3 of 91 (permalink) Old 05-02-2005, 04:53 PM
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Don't get excited.

1. Might be?!?! Fuck I might be
2. Put that ass on the pill, it regulates her period so there aren't as many might bes
3. If I had a dollar for every girl I have dated that "might be", I could afford a kid.

And if she is, don't even say that "A" word, you'll have a foot implanted in your ass before you can turn around. Be supportive, and do the right thing. If she is even tossing around the thought of an abortion she'll let you know. If not, take your man pill and be a responsible adult, support your decision to have sex by supporting your offspring. Nothing worse in this world than a deadbeat dad.
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post #4 of 91 (permalink) Old 05-02-2005, 04:53 PM
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You should have just given her the shocker... The shocker makes no babies!

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post #5 of 91 (permalink) Old 05-02-2005, 04:53 PM
 
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I'm real new to this site , but when I saw your thread I had to post.

I'm one those its a life guys. Keep him or her.

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post #6 of 91 (permalink) Old 05-02-2005, 04:59 PM
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Looking back I wish I had kids young, start your family now so you can enjoy your 40's Just hink your kids will be out of the house by the time your 40 and you have the rest of your life to enjoy your self. instead of having them at 30 or something and realizing that you wont get rid of them before you retire.




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post #7 of 91 (permalink) Old 05-02-2005, 05:00 PM
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Let me put it to you this way.

yes your 18, and YES you are adult enough to have that child and make it work!!!!


yes there will be some hard times, things to adjust and what not, there is no question about it.


BUT bear in mind, IF God gave you only 1 chance in your life time to have a child of your own, to love and care for, WOULD you throw it all away?


to me it sounds, like you have more people at this time and age to turn to for help, for suggestions, parents, friends, state aid, and so forth, REMEMBER your not alone.
you can do it! JUST choose wisely and READ my signature.


i hope what ever choice you make is the right one FOR not now " no matter how hard it is" but ALWAYS if that 1 chance is gone FOR EVER!

don't make mistakes, or rush judgments think and think of what you would be loosing or gaining if you never were able to have kids.


god be with you.



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post #8 of 91 (permalink) Old 05-02-2005, 05:00 PM
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The ? is why weren't you using protection?

If you have to ask the ? whether you should have the baby or not then clearly you aren't ready.

But abortion isn't the only option, there's always adoption for all the pro-lifers out there.

Abortion is a very personal issue, you'll get a hundred opinions about what you should or shouldn't do.

I'm pro-choice myself but when I got preggie, I couldn't in good conscience get an AB but I do believe that the choice should be out there.

Personally I'm glad I didn't, my daughter is beautiful! I love her more than life itself and couldn't imagine my life without her.

Mind you now this all happened 5 years ago and I was 26 years old with a career and I still freaked out when I found out I was preggie.

First have her pee on the test b4 you guys start freakin' out. Good luck!

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Last edited by LadyDemona; 05-02-2005 at 05:02 PM.
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post #9 of 91 (permalink) Old 05-02-2005, 05:01 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dirtbiker
Don't get excited.

1. Might be?!?! Fuck I might be
2. Put that ass on the pill, it regulates her period so there aren't as many might bes
3. If I had a dollar for every girl I have dated that "might be", I could afford a kid.

And if she is, don't even say that "A" word, you'll have a foot implanted in your ass before you can turn around. Be supportive, and do the right thing. If she is even tossing around the thought of an abortion she'll let you know. If not, take your man pill and be a responsible adult, support your decision to have sex by supporting your offspring. Nothing worse in this world than a deadbeat dad.
yep. Don't panic, there are a lot of "might be's"

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post #10 of 91 (permalink) Old 05-02-2005, 05:02 PM
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+1 on life.

Even if you both decide not to keep it......put up for adoption.....I was adopted, and am glad my birth P's decided against abortion.

This is a serious subject, so no comments from those of you who feel my birth parents should have persued other avenues.

"When in doubt, use full throttle. It may not improve your situation, but it will end the suspense."
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post #11 of 91 (permalink) Old 05-02-2005, 05:03 PM
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I AGREE this is NOT a thread to be fucking around in, THIS MAYBE family needs our help and support!

i am here for you.



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post #12 of 91 (permalink) Old 05-02-2005, 05:07 PM
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Well, the first rule of being a good girlfriend is....shut the f*ck up until you know FOR SURE. I personally would never scare a guy with all this "might be" crap. Telling a guy you are a few days late simply doesn't help anything.

Now, if she wants to have the "I'm not sleeping with you until we have a talk about what might happen" conversation, that's a different story. But that should be brought up on its own.

As for what to do-- right now? Nothing. Wait til you know for sure. Until then the only thing you can do is worry, and that won't help anyone.

To be sure this never happens again, you might want to have that talk with her, presuming she's not pregnant and things return to normal. You can't PUT her on the pill-- it's her body. The two of you TOGETHER should decide what kind of birth control is right for you as a couple. Me personally, I used BC pills in college but it really fucks with your hormones and it is not good for a woman's body in the long term. Besides that it promotes weight gain it mimicks pregnancy, which is an extreme condition for a woman's body. Using BC pills tricks her body into thinking she's pregnant all the time-- which is not healthy.

So after college I didn't date for quite a while and it wasn't an issue. But when I met my bf we talked about it and found an option that we both liked.



Ass sex.

j/k

Last edited by ill_ag; 05-02-2005 at 05:09 PM.
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post #13 of 91 (permalink) Old 05-02-2005, 05:07 PM
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Do the right thing. Take care of what's yours.
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post #14 of 91 (permalink) Old 05-02-2005, 05:14 PM
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Birth Control is also a personal preference. I was on birth control pills for 7 years and off of it for 5 months and I got preggie with no problem, of course it wasn't like I was tryin' to get preggie.

Tried the IUD for 3 years and that's just screwy with the period.

If she isn't pregnant then a decision should be made on what kind of birth control would work for both of you. Consulting an OB/Gyne might be the best way to also choose which route to go with.

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post #15 of 91 (permalink) Old 05-02-2005, 05:21 PM Thread Starter
 
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wow I didnt expect all of these responds. Thanks everyone, well IF she is pregnant then I would have the kid with her and never even think of an abortion. Just wanted to see what everyone would do. But damn I hope she isnt right now b.c I am just starting my fire science classes at jjc in the summer.

and I dont think we could afford one right now.

I will keep you guys updated.
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post #16 of 91 (permalink) Old 05-02-2005, 05:23 PM
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go take the test WITH her, btw how long ya 2 been together, IF you dont mind me asking?



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post #17 of 91 (permalink) Old 05-02-2005, 05:28 PM
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Quote:
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Do the right thing. Take care of what's yours.
+1

It's her decision. Period. If she's pregnant, your only job is to be there with her, and support that decision. This is one of those times where you made your bed - and now you get to sleep in it.

I'm forever grateful that there are safe and responsible options out there. My life would have been dramatically changed if not. Consider all of your options - but know that at the end of the day, you're not in charge of the final say.

G'luck

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post #18 of 91 (permalink) Old 05-02-2005, 05:32 PM
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Cool

I hope this works out for the both of yas, what ever that may be

Oh yea if she ends up NOT being Preggo, Get your ass some PROTECTION

There is no reason you can't step up to the plate and buy the raincoats!!!


I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later!!
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post #19 of 91 (permalink) Old 05-02-2005, 05:43 PM
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Okay, first off... you're 18... and I'm sure that "the talk" didn't include everything you need to know. The first people you should be talking to are your parents.

Having said that... here are some things that most 18 year olds don't know (you may... so don't think this is personal)

1) Many women do not have their periods every month (or rather... 28 days).
2) Stress can cause a missed cycle
3) Sports can cause a missed cycle (I know dancers that get one every 4-5 months).
4) Infections can cause a missed cycle.
5) A main cause for infections is lots of sex (you lucky devil)
6) Missing a cycle doesn't mean your pregnant.
7) Having a cycle, doesn't mean you're not.
8) All men should have a few pregnancy tests handy. They're cheap... accurate... and they reduce stress. I think my fiance has taken like 30 of 'em in the past 6 years. She doesn't even stress about it any more. If she's nervous, here... pee on a stick, then deal with the reality.
9) Things that cause a false positive in a pregnancy test include marijuana, aspirin, hormones, birth control pills, methadone, tranquilizers, and soap or protein in urine. If you get a positive result... go to a doctor for a 2nd test.

10) THE BEST THING THE GUY CAN DO... is stay calm, and take things one step at a time, in an organized way. Your partner is freaking out, and they need someone stable and sturdy that they can rely on and trust. Pee on a stick, go to a doctor, call a professional, get informed, make a decision, constantly reflect on that decision up until the final moments, know that you've made the best decision.

There's no reason for either of you to stress until the stick test is complete.

The first few "pregnancy scares" are one of life's little rights of passage. I hope it scares you shitless and you learn from it.

Now... if she is pregnant, you both have some big choices. The least of your worries is the abortion vs life question. The first choice you have to make is... where do you go to get some information so that you can make the most informed decision possible. I recommend calling either Planned Parenthood 1-800-230-PLAN, or America's Pregnancy Hotline 1-888-4-OPTIONS.

I view things in a very sexist way regarding the whole abortion debate. I'm not the doctor, and I'm not the one making the final decision... therefore, my karma is not impacted except by how I treat the woman involved. Ultimately, it's not the guy that causes injury. I stand firmly with my partner, and support whatever decision they make. I've made it clear to my fiance that I'm not ready to be a parent yet, but if it's a necessity, I would. I'm definitely a fan of giving up the kid for adoption, accepting of abortion in the first trimester (or the 2nd if you find the kid has a serious genetic condition... but there is a line during the 5th-6th month where I consider it a child and believe it's too late).

Lastly, late term/partial birth abortions are just wrong, in all cases. I would rather see someone kill a 3 month old, than a 3rd trimester fetus.

Anyways, best of luck to both of you. Hopefully this is just a learning experience.
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post #20 of 91 (permalink) Old 05-02-2005, 05:48 PM
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Slycer's post was perhaps the most informative, helpful post I've ever read. Outstanding advice!

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post #21 of 91 (permalink) Old 05-02-2005, 05:59 PM Thread Starter
 
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we have been going out for about 1 1/2-2 years. I had protection but ran out, she wanted it and so did I so I said f*ck it. Well She isnt answering my calls right now so I am getting scared. She was suppose to take that test at home. AAHHH I will keep you guys informed, thanks for the reply's.
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post #22 of 91 (permalink) Old 05-02-2005, 06:01 PM
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Morning after pill is good up to 72 hours afterwards but it's hell on a woman's chemical balance from what I'm told.

"and yes, I will be serving strawberry shortcake right out of my bikini bottoms. just come on by with a spoon and scoop it out of my ass crack." ill_ag

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post #23 of 91 (permalink) Old 05-02-2005, 06:10 PM Thread Starter
 
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morning after pill? Well It was 3 days ago, so nope
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post #24 of 91 (permalink) Old 05-02-2005, 06:11 PM
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First off, ya need a bitch-slap. It's one thing if ya did use protection and it failed, but wtf is up with oh, fuck it?
I'm 23, been going with my girl for 3 years, and we've brought up this issue before... i know that i'm not ready financially to support a kid. That's #1 problem. Besides the fact that i don't wanna give up my life quite yet (and by that i don't mean it's not rewarding to have kids, just that if i have one, i WILL devote all my time/resources to him/her).

Another thing, if ya did say oh fuck it, ya should've at least looked into the morning after pill... too late by now it seems though.

If she's not answering your phone calls, get your damn ass over to her place. I do find it weird however that she's giving you the "might be". Get your ass outta of your place, pick up the pregnancy test, and first find out if she is. Don't jump the gun quite yet, this all might be nothin after all. Good luck....
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post #25 of 91 (permalink) Old 05-02-2005, 06:32 PM
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I have to disagree with the people saying to keep calling, or go visit her.

I know you're scared and curious, but she's almost certainly terrified right now. Be there when she needs you, stand back when she doesn't. If she just found out that she is pregnant and she calls you, STAY CALM. Offer to drive her to her gynocologist (for gods sake... don't just say doctor, or hospital), for a more accurate test. Remind her that she doesn't need to have all of the answers today. Tomorrow is a new day, and you'll still be here for her. If there's someone she's more comfortable talking to about this than you... that's OKAY... especially if it's someone who's been through it before (like her parents).

I won't rag on ya for not using protection. You made the choice, and will probably make the same choice again. Hopefully you'll gain something positive from this whole experience. Oh, and it'll probably be a few weeks before you get any action again... so don't pressure her.
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post #26 of 91 (permalink) Old 05-02-2005, 06:34 PM
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Oh, and for those that don't know... the morning after pill is VERY effective, but she'll feel all sorts of fucked up for a couple o days... kinda like a minor flu... which I guess is still better than the alternative.
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post #27 of 91 (permalink) Old 05-02-2005, 07:02 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OldStyle
morning after pill? Well It was 3 days ago, so nope

There is no possible way she would know if she "might be" pregnate after three days. Unless she has some freak control of her body (Bene Geserit style).

Three days might also be too early for most tests to work, I think the earliest test is one to two weeks. I think everyone has had plenty of scares from no fprotection flings, but usually its just that, a scare. She is going to need to calm down and be reasoable, but broaching that subject with her is going to be pretty hard. Just be there for her, and if it does turn out shes pregnate, then do what you both think is the right thing.
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post #28 of 91 (permalink) Old 05-02-2005, 07:46 PM
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Been there, done that

Advice from someone whose been there, done that. I got my girl friend at the time pregnant and I felt if I was grown up enough to do this, I was old enough to take the responsibility. I never thought of abortion, because I thought why should a by suffer because of our mistake?
IMHO if you are asking about keeping it, deep inside you do. I have worked at rape crisis center about 6 years ago and I did this for about 5 years. I thing I did learn is that you have girls who use abortion as a birth control have no problem with it. Then you have the one who though it was an easy way out and it hurt more after the abortion was over. Some girls canít get pregnant again, some it hurts emotionally that it kills them inside. I have see some commit suicide because the guilt got to them so much.
If I tough it out, I think anyone can. The 1 stupid thing I did and I do regret is I married her because I got her pregnant. I advise against that, even if you love her a lot. Wait that out.
If you feel you can provide for the child, have you though about adoption? Again from what I saw at the rape crisis center itís still hard, but you both will feel better knowing the baby will have a good life. There are so many people who canít have children; you would be a blessing to them. They also would pay for everything also.
Do not let her out of your sight; be there and from what I see you want to be. Again I been there, done this also. If you need anyone to talk to you can PM me, and I will be more than happy to help you out in anyway I can.

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post #29 of 91 (permalink) Old 05-02-2005, 07:49 PM
 
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Quote:
I would rather see someone kill a 3 month old, than a 3rd trimester fetus.
Pardon me, but what?
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post #30 of 91 (permalink) Old 05-02-2005, 08:20 PM
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Guys and gals...., please don't start a debate about wether an abortion is "right" or "wrong". That could get ugly... If it turns out that she is, things WILL work out. You will make ends meet. And, if you both should decide to have the baby, when you first lay eyes on him/her, it doubt you will have any more questions about wether you did the right thing. Good luck and God bless.

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