Join Date: Nov 2003
Sportbike: 99 Honda CBR600F4
Years Riding: 7
How you found us: Honda Sportsbike Network
Okay, first off... you're 18... and I'm sure that "the talk" didn't include everything you need to know. The first people you should be talking to are your parents.
Having said that... here are some things that most 18 year olds don't know (you may... so don't think this is personal)
1) Many women do not have their periods every month (or rather... 28 days).
2) Stress can cause a missed cycle
3) Sports can cause a missed cycle (I know dancers that get one every 4-5 months).
4) Infections can cause a missed cycle.
5) A main cause for infections is lots of sex (you lucky devil)
6) Missing a cycle doesn't mean your pregnant.
7) Having a cycle, doesn't mean you're not.
8) All men should have a few pregnancy tests handy. They're cheap... accurate... and they reduce stress. I think my fiance has taken like 30 of 'em in the past 6 years. She doesn't even stress about it any more. If she's nervous, here... pee on a stick, then deal with the reality.
9) Things that cause a false positive in a pregnancy test include marijuana, aspirin, hormones, birth control pills, methadone, tranquilizers, and soap or protein in urine. If you get a positive result... go to a doctor for a 2nd test.
10) THE BEST THING THE GUY CAN DO... is stay calm, and take things one step at a time, in an organized way. Your partner is freaking out, and they need someone stable and sturdy that they can rely on and trust. Pee on a stick, go to a doctor, call a professional, get informed, make a decision, constantly reflect on that decision up until the final moments, know that you've made the best decision.
There's no reason for either of you to stress until the stick test is complete.
The first few "pregnancy scares" are one of life's little rights of passage. I hope it scares you shitless and you learn from it.
Now... if she is pregnant, you both have some big choices. The least of your worries is the abortion vs life question. The first choice you have to make is... where do you go to get some information so that you can make the most informed decision possible. I recommend calling either Planned Parenthood 1-800-230-PLAN, or America's Pregnancy Hotline 1-888-4-OPTIONS.
I view things in a very sexist way regarding the whole abortion debate. I'm not the doctor, and I'm not the one making the final decision... therefore, my karma is not impacted except by how I treat the woman involved. Ultimately, it's not the guy that causes injury. I stand firmly with my partner, and support whatever decision they make. I've made it clear to my fiance that I'm not ready to be a parent yet, but if it's a necessity, I would. I'm definitely a fan of giving up the kid for adoption, accepting of abortion in the first trimester (or the 2nd if you find the kid has a serious genetic condition... but there is a line during the 5th-6th month where I consider it a child and believe it's too late).
Lastly, late term/partial birth abortions are just wrong, in all cases. I would rather see someone kill a 3 month old, than a 3rd trimester fetus.
Anyways, best of luck to both of you. Hopefully this is just a learning experience.