Clippings from Church Newspapers - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-08-2002, 10:45 AM Thread Starter
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Location: Lombard
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Years Riding: bought my first street bike in 2000
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Talking Clippings from Church Newspapers

These are actual clippings from church
newspapers. It's amazing what a little
proofreading could've prevented.

______________________________

Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will
be speaking tonight at The Calvary Memorial
Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear
Bertha Belch all the wayfrom Africa.

_____________________________

Don't forget the National PRAYER & FASTING
Conference. "The cost for attending the
Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals."
_____________________________

Our youth basketball team is back in action
Wednesday at 8 PM in the school recreation
hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ
the King.
_____________________________

Miss Charlene Mason sang, "I Will Not Pass This
Way Again," giving obvious pleasure to the
congregation.
_____________________________

"Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale.
It's a chance to get rid of those things not
worth keeping around the house. Don't forget
your husbands."
_____________________________

Next Sunday is the family hay ride and bonfire
at the Fowlers'. Bring your own hot dogs and
guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for
a fun time.
_____________________________

The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today
has been canceled due to a conflict.
_____________________________

The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the
Water."

The sermon tonight will be: "Searching for
Jesus"
_____________________________

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the
choir. They need all the help they can get.
_____________________________

Barbara Jones remains in the hospital and
needs blood donors for more transfusions.
She is also having trouble sleeping and
requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
_____________________________

The Rector will preach his farewell message
after which the choir will sing "Break
Forth into Joy."
_____________________________

Don't let worry kill you - let the Church help.
_____________________________

Irving Benson and Jessica Carter were married
on October 24 in the church. So ends a
friendship that began in their school days.
_____________________________

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening
in the church hall. Music will follow.
_____________________________

At the evening service tonight, the sermon
topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early
and listen to our choir practice.
_____________________________

Eight new choir robes are currently needed,
due to the addition of several new members
and to the deterioration of some older ones.
_____________________________

The senior choir invites any member of the
congregation who enjoy sinning to join the
choir.
_____________________________

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and
other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be
used to cripple children.
_____________________________

The Lutheran men's group will meet at 6 PM.
Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread
and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.
_____________________________

For those of you who have children and don't
know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
_____________________________

Please place your donation in the envelope
along with the deceased person(s) you
want remembered.
_____________________________

Attend this meeting and you will hear an
excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.
_____________________________

The church will host an evening of fine
dining, superb entertainment, and gracious
hostility.
_____________________________

Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 P.M.-prayer
and medication to follow.
_____________________________

The ladies of the Church have cast off
clothing of every kind. They may be seen
in the basement on Friday afternoon.
_____________________________

Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday
morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to
lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the
B.S. is done.
_____________________________

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet
Thursday at 8 PM, Please use the back door.
_____________________________

The eighth-graders will be presenting
Shakespeare's "Hamlet" in the Church
basement on Friday at 7 PM. The Congregation
is invited to attend this tragedy.
_____________________________

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First
Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double door
at the side entrance.
_____________________________

Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital
this week for testes.
_____________________________

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's
new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday:
"I Upped My Pledge - Now Up Yours."
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post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-08-2002, 10:52 AM
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Gamertag: CRAZY403


“You can’t escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.”

-Abraham Lincoln


“Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt.”

-Herbert Hoover
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post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-08-2002, 10:57 AM
Who's faster Lupi
 
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o the humor by typing errors.

NESBA #456 Intermediate
Always 1 step ahead of Lupi. 1:24:7 BHF
And 1 step behind Kimmy

"SoB gets to spend yet ANOTHER season faster than me." -LUPI-
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post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-08-2002, 11:59 AM
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Unreal ! ! !

<--Kelly

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post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-09-2002, 12:42 AM
CLSB RESIDENT REDNECK!!!!
 
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Location: Belvidere, Il
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Mark

2001 F4i Red/Black ( She Gone )
2003 GMC Sierra Z71 Pewter
Quote:
Originally Posted by whiteSeatEnvy View Post
lol It's even typed in redneck!

______________________________


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post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-09-2002, 12:31 PM
Please attend carefully..
 
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Location: Chicago (NW side) 60707
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What time is Midnight Mass???

"Stupidity is also a gift of God, but one mustn't misuse it." - JP2

"Life is just a place where we spend time between games" - former Philadelphia Flyers coach Fred Shero

"everyone's a nutjob, some just have more restraint than others" - EndlessRR
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post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-09-2002, 12:33 PM
Please attend carefully..
 
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Chicago (NW side) 60707
Posts: 2,625
Location: Chicago (NW side) 60707
Sportbike: 2000 ZX6R (the green one!)
Years Riding: 2000
How you found us: I've been here a while...
           
"Our offertory (collection) hymn will be 'Take Our Bread'"

(They used to do that at St. Rosalie a lot!)

"Stupidity is also a gift of God, but one mustn't misuse it." - JP2

"Life is just a place where we spend time between games" - former Philadelphia Flyers coach Fred Shero

"everyone's a nutjob, some just have more restraint than others" - EndlessRR
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