Tell your funniest or most embarrassing story! - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 56 (permalink) Old 09-20-2005, 12:08 PM Thread Starter
Puppy Love!
 
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Talking Tell your funniest or most embarrassing story!

To lighten things up around here....

Let's hear em!! I'm still thinking of my funniest story, because those of you who know me, embarrasing me is almost impossible.....I wanted to get this thread started though, because I think people are starting to take shit WAY to seriously on this board!!!

KJ
_____________________________________________
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post #2 of 56 (permalink) Old 09-20-2005, 12:15 PM
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It was more "awkward" than "embarrassing" I guess, but I once thought that you could Donkey Punch a chick as like you know, a "loving surprise shared between two consenting adults".

Boy was I wrong.

()

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Last edited by Underdog; 09-20-2005 at 01:46 PM.
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post #3 of 56 (permalink) Old 09-20-2005, 12:16 PM
yo quiero su taco
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Underdog
It was more "awkward" than "embarrassing" I guess, but I once thought that you could Donkey Punch a chick as like you know, a "loving surprise shared between two consenting adults".

Boy was I wrong.

no way! Classic!!

"includes 10 used-car dealers or auto repair shops, 11 liquor stores and bars--two of which advertise lingerie fashion shows and a third billed as a "gentlemen's club"--three cut-rate motels and one trailer park. The squat, brick municipal building is next to a currency exchange and a few steps from an adult video store. The bars open at 10 a.m. and close at 6:30 a.m."

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Originally Posted by admin View Post
Something must be fishy...I am going to go poke around in the back end..
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post #4 of 56 (permalink) Old 09-20-2005, 12:18 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Underdog
It was more "awkward" than "embarrassing" I guess, but I once thought that you could Donkey Punch a chick as like you know, a "loving surprise shared between two consenting adults".

Boy was I wrong.
- boy I BET that was akward (using my best sarcastic voice) that reminds me when I once thought that you could snowball a dude as like you know a loving surprise between two consenting adults....YEP HE WAS SURE SURPRISED!!!

BTW - For all those wondering - THIS IS A JOKE!

KJ
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Last edited by Gixx; 09-20-2005 at 12:43 PM. Reason: THIS IS A JOKE
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post #5 of 56 (permalink) Old 09-20-2005, 12:18 PM
yo quiero su taco
 
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My mom caught me jerking off. THE MOST EMBARASSING MOMENT OF MY LIFE. That is until my dad walked in to see what was going on. Then my sister came in wondering what all the commotion was about. Followed shortly by my brother.




j/k

"includes 10 used-car dealers or auto repair shops, 11 liquor stores and bars--two of which advertise lingerie fashion shows and a third billed as a "gentlemen's club"--three cut-rate motels and one trailer park. The squat, brick municipal building is next to a currency exchange and a few steps from an adult video store. The bars open at 10 a.m. and close at 6:30 a.m."

Quote:
Originally Posted by admin View Post
Something must be fishy...I am going to go poke around in the back end..

Last edited by whiteSeatEnvy; 09-20-2005 at 01:39 PM.
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post #6 of 56 (permalink) Old 09-20-2005, 12:19 PM
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lets see

haloween eve
drinking
rockey horror picture show at the old Sony Classic Theatre on Michigan ave
choclate frosting
my bare ass
and a room full of people

the details are up to your imagination

<-- Chris

turn the bars left and go right; that just isn't right
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post #7 of 56 (permalink) Old 09-20-2005, 12:19 PM
I'm always learning......
 
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Long, long time ago in a galaxie far, far away..... I was in line at the company cafeteria when I noticed that this girl I had a crush on(I really had the hots for her) was sitting there with a friend of hers(another girl that worked there). As I was leaving, with a tray full of food in hand, I noticed she was looking my way so I looked over at her and waved. BAMMMMM I missed the exit door by about a foot. Tray full of food all over my chest. Mercifully, I can't even remember her name now.


Moral = Target fixation is BAD!!!

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post #8 of 56 (permalink) Old 09-20-2005, 12:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SloRoll
Long, long time ago in a galaxie far, far away..... I was in line at the company cafeteria when I noticed that this girl I had a crush on(I really had the hots for her) was sitting there with a friend of hers(another girl that worked there). As I was leaving, with a tray full of food in hand, I noticed she was looking my way so I looked over at her and waved. BAMMMMM I missed the exit door by about a foot. Tray full of food all over my chest. Mercifully, I can't even remember her name now.


Moral = Target fixation is BAD!!!
Why are you drinking 1%? is it because you think your FAT?

<-- Chris

turn the bars left and go right; that just isn't right
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post #9 of 56 (permalink) Old 09-20-2005, 12:26 PM
Seriously?
 
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Soooooo many to choose from! hahaha
One was not to long ago.. involved a trampoline and some bushes next to them... THAT HURT!

Bikes can be replaced...people can't...ride safe!!
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post #10 of 56 (permalink) Old 09-20-2005, 12:30 PM
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.......well there was that time some chick snowballed me. I THOUGHT SHE JUST WANTED A KISS!!!! How embarrassing





PS, I'm kidding you sick bastards!

Sean
NESBA ADVANCED #178

Property of Evil Monkey Racing
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post #11 of 56 (permalink) Old 09-20-2005, 12:31 PM
 
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I stabbed a man in the heart...with a trident.
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post #12 of 56 (permalink) Old 09-20-2005, 12:32 PM
Fear is the mind killer
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by whiteSeatEnvy
My mom caught me jerking off. THE MOST EMBARASSING MOMENT OF MY LIFE. That is until my dad walked in to see what was going on. The my sister came in wndering what all the commotion was about. Followed shiortly by my brother.




j/k

HaHaHa, If that ever happened to me. I would move out immediately. The embarrasement would be too much.

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"Ride it like you have 30 monthly remaining payments" should keep most people out of trouble.
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post #13 of 56 (permalink) Old 09-20-2005, 12:33 PM
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Just a few months/weeks ago, when i laughed after reading something off the board and i tore ass in front of my lovely female co-workers. Soon after i was transferred to a different department, downstairs, inthe basement, with my red stapler.

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post #14 of 56 (permalink) Old 09-20-2005, 12:37 PM Thread Starter
Puppy Love!
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MoTo178
.......well there was that time some chick snowballed me. I THOUGHT SHE JUST WANTED A KISS!!!! How embarrassing





PS, I'm kidding you sick bastards!
and I thought he would like it

KJ
_____________________________________________
The CLSB Bitch Wrecking Crew

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post #15 of 56 (permalink) Old 09-20-2005, 12:38 PM
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This one time, at band camp...




HDTony.... Damn glad to meet you!

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post #16 of 56 (permalink) Old 09-20-2005, 12:38 PM
She Calls me Google...
 
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This one time... at band camp...... (fill in the blank)
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post #17 of 56 (permalink) Old 09-20-2005, 12:43 PM
King Nothing


 
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My worse was:

Im bangin this chick dog style in the basement, and my MOM comes down the stairs....the lights are dimmed (mood lighting ) anyway, as she comes around the corner, I see her,but the girl doesnt as her head is being lambasted into the back of a THIS END UP (see the irony in that furniture brand?) wooden couch......My moms eyes get real big, and just as she is about to say something I give her the shhhhhh! sign, keep on pumping, and point for her to go back upstairs! SHE DID!

Next morning she told me she didnt want me disrepecting her house like that anymore...........

"When in doubt, use full throttle. It may not improve your situation, but it will end the suspense."
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post #18 of 56 (permalink) Old 09-20-2005, 12:44 PM
Fear is the mind killer
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MoTo178
.......well there was that time some chick snowballed me. I THOUGHT SHE JUST WANTED A KISS!!!! How embarrassing





PS, I'm kidding you sick bastards!
I didn't know what snowballing was until I just looked it up on Google, now I now it's not just spit in that kiss, LOL. Thank God for Google.

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kegger View Post
"Ride it like you have 30 monthly remaining payments" should keep most people out of trouble.
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post #19 of 56 (permalink) Old 09-20-2005, 12:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kegger
...and just as she is about to say something I give her the shhhhhh! sign, keep on pumping, and point for her to go back upstairs
HAHAHAHAAHA

Sean
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post #20 of 56 (permalink) Old 09-20-2005, 12:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kegger
My moms eyes get real big, and just as she is about to say something I give her the shhhhhh! sign, keep on pumping, and point for her to go back upstairs! SHE DID!


That chick must have been hot. If my mom were to walk in on me that would have totally killed my "mood."

Never a bad time to climb... unless the weather is really horrible, and then you climb inside!

I bleed GREEN
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post #21 of 56 (permalink) Old 09-20-2005, 12:51 PM
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You Bastards. These stories are too funny!!! I almost choked my pop as I was reading them. I had to close my office door cause I was laughing to hard!!!
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post #22 of 56 (permalink) Old 09-20-2005, 12:51 PM
King Nothing


 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chills
That chick must have been hot. If my mom were to walk in on me that would have totally killed my "mood."
I wasnt stopping til I was "done", I dont care if the pope himself made an appearance....yeah she was VERY hot..........

"When in doubt, use full throttle. It may not improve your situation, but it will end the suspense."
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post #23 of 56 (permalink) Old 09-20-2005, 12:54 PM
 
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He who smellt it, dealt it.

Well while in a grocery store it was me and my ex. She went further down a aisle to find something as I was fixated on which peanut butter to get. Tummy was doing flip flops so I let one fly. Nice tone. Sounded like my Hindle a little. Took my breath of relief and realized there was a couple next to me. I swear they weren't there or I wouldn't have done it. They looked at me with the look of WTF?! I looked and with a crooked smile said, "When you gotta go, you gotta go." Then I quickly walked away!
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post #24 of 56 (permalink) Old 09-20-2005, 12:54 PM
Curb your dogma.
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EndlessRR
Just a few months/weeks ago, when i laughed after reading something off the board and i tore ass in front of my lovely female co-workers. Soon after i was transferred to a different department, downstairs, inthe basement, with my red stapler.


"Cr-Cr-Cr-Crambone!!"
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post #25 of 56 (permalink) Old 09-20-2005, 12:58 PM
SICK OF IT ALL
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by whiteSeatEnvy
My mom caught me jerking off. THE MOST EMBARASSING MOMENT OF MY LIFE. That is until my dad walked in to see what was going on. The my sister came in wndering what all the commotion was about. Followed shiortly by my brother.


j/k
you know what, my most embarrassing moment was when you mom caught me tossing it off too......coincidental, i think not.

Wayne


Standing together
Side by side
Staying true to what’s inside
United as one, we fight

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post #26 of 56 (permalink) Old 09-20-2005, 12:58 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Loki_D_Wolf
Well while in a grocery store it was me and my ex. She went further down a aisle to find something as I was fixated on which peanut butter to get. Tummy was doing flip flops so I let one fly. Nice tone. Sounded like my Hindle a little. Took my breath of relief and realized there was a couple next to me. I swear they weren't there or I wouldn't have done it. They looked at me with the look of WTF?! I looked and with a crooked smile said, "When you gotta go, you gotta go." Then I quickly walked away!
Nice work!!!!
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post #27 of 56 (permalink) Old 09-20-2005, 01:01 PM
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Ok, well the most embarrassing for me would have to be a while ago:

I was over at my girlfriends place (she lived at home with her parents) eating dinner with her family. She had a new puppy that would get into and destroy everything. Well, she didnt shut her bathroom door in her bedroom and the dog got into the garbage. Sure enough, it found something fairly close in texture to it's rubber chew toy and decided to bring it down to the dining room. I pretty much almost threw up in fear. Nothing like a used rubber to create an awkward moment.


Edit: BTW, if anyone wants to ask why the hell I would throw it in the garbage and not flush it away, we can talk about my second most embarrassing moment which involves more profolatics and me having to pay for my parents septic system to be fixed.

Sean
NESBA ADVANCED #178

Property of Evil Monkey Racing

Last edited by MoTo178; 09-20-2005 at 01:08 PM.
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post #28 of 56 (permalink) Old 09-20-2005, 01:01 PM
King Nothing


 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Loki_D_Wolf
Nice tone. Sounded like my Hindle a little.
Good story teller, common point of reference for the analogy!

I can hear it now..............

"When in doubt, use full throttle. It may not improve your situation, but it will end the suspense."
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post #29 of 56 (permalink) Old 09-20-2005, 01:07 PM
CCS - WERA - AMA
 
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I was just getting over the flu and was feeling much better. It is Saturday night and my boys tell me we are definately going out. This girl I was lusting for was going to be there!!!! Smoking little dirty blond with THE BODY!!!!!!!!

We all sat at a table and coincedently two of my friends had to leave. My other friend took this girls friend out on the dance floor and then to the bar for shots.

That left me alone with my soon to be wife! (Wishful thinking! ) We're talking and laughing and then - I then sneeze - which causes me to crap myself!!!!!!!!!! Really really bad!!!!!!!! The flu causes the runs! Speaking of running - that's what I did! I jumped up backed away and said something stupid as I ran to the washroom!!! Every get any privacy in a bars bathroom?!?!?!?!!!!!??

I quickly cleaned up and ran out to my car and left!!!!!!!!!

Called my friends cell but he didn't hear it due to the loud bar. I was at home in the shower listening to my cel ring off the hook. I didn't answer. Watched a little SNL and then fell asleep.

Lied to my friends about having some wierd reaction to the flu medicine and the booze. I still see the hottie every once in a long while and she either acts like she doesn't know me or (worse) laughs and whispers to her friends.

It's sad to say but - "Beat that!"

Are we there yet?
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post #30 of 56 (permalink) Old 09-20-2005, 01:12 PM
King Nothing


 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mike_rbm
I was just getting over the flu and was feeling much better. It is Saturday night and my boys tell me we are definately going out. This girl I was lusting for was going to be there!!!! Smoking little dirty blond with THE BODY!!!!!!!!

We all sat at a table and coincedently two of my friends had to leave. My other friend took this girls friend out on the dance floor and then to the bar for shots.

That left me alone with my soon to be wife! (Wishful thinking! ) We're talking and laughing and then - I then sneeze - which causes me to crap myself!!!!!!!!!! Really really bad!!!!!!!! The flu causes the runs! Speaking of running - that's what I did! I jumped up backed away and said something stupid as I ran to the washroom!!! Every get any privacy in a bars bathroom?!?!?!?!!!!!??

I quickly cleaned up and ran out to my car and left!!!!!!!!!

Called my friends cell but he didn't hear it due to the loud bar. I was at home in the shower listening to my cel ring off the hook. I didn't answer. Watched a little SNL and then fell asleep.

Lied to my friends about having some wierd reaction to the flu medicine and the booze. I still see the hottie every once in a long while and she either acts like she doesn't know me or (worse) laughs and whispers to her friends.

It's sad to say but - "Beat that!"

Best one yet! She must seen the mud marks when you ran away!

Gives new meaning to "hit that shit"

"When in doubt, use full throttle. It may not improve your situation, but it will end the suspense."
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