Join Date: Apr 2002
Years Riding: 2
How you found us: the smell
Just what you need to get the day rollin!!
Don't Mess With These Ladies
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check
tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the
ticket, and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without
missing a beat she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your
Let's Go For Stupid
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery
store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked
a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy
replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
Caught For Speeding
The cop got out of his car and the kid, that was stopped for
speeding, rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all
day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I ! got here as
fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent
the kid on his way without a ticket.
Stuck Under A Bridge
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up
that reads "low bridge ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is
right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are
backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets
out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his
hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and
ran out of gas."
The drunken wino was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said,
"I've got to take you in, sir. You're obviously drunk."
The wasted wino asked, "Ociffer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?" "Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the cop. "Let's go." Obviously relieved, the wino said "That's a relief - I thought I was a cripple."
The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked
and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was
stopped by a policeman. "What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?" asked the officer. "I'm going to a lecture." The man said. "And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?" the cop asked. "My wife," said the man.
HAVE A GREAT DAY !!
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