Just what you need to get the day rollin!! - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 11-18-2002, 08:25 AM Thread Starter
Jim
Tgf Og
 
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: lith
Posts: 9,851
Location: lith
Sportbike: trek
Years Riding: 2
How you found us: the smell
           
Just what you need to get the day rollin!!

Don't Mess With These Ladies
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check
tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the
ticket, and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without
missing a beat she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your
stub."

Let's Go For Stupid
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery
store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked
a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy
replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

Caught For Speeding
The cop got out of his car and the kid, that was stopped for
speeding, rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all
day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I ! got here as
fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent
the kid on his way without a ticket.

Stuck Under A Bridge
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up
that reads "low bridge ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is
right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are
backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets
out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his
hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and
ran out of gas."

Drunk?
The drunken wino was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said,
"I've got to take you in, sir. You're obviously drunk."
The wasted wino asked, "Ociffer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?" "Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the cop. "Let's go." Obviously relieved, the wino said "That's a relief - I thought I was a cripple."

Walk
The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked
and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was
stopped by a policeman. "What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?" asked the officer. "I'm going to a lecture." The man said. "And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?" the cop asked. "My wife," said the man.
HAVE A GREAT DAY !!

Join the NRA, help protect our Second Amendment rights
GO Bears!!!!!!!!
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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 11-18-2002, 08:29 AM
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Join Date: May 2002
Location: Romeoville
Posts: 19,186
Location: Romeoville
Sportbike: looking to get dirty!
Years Riding: long time
How you found us: SBN
           

Brian (F.K.A. Crazy)

Gamertag: CRAZY403


“You can’t escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.”

-Abraham Lincoln


“Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt.”

-Herbert Hoover
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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 11-18-2002, 08:39 AM
Evil Moderatrix
 
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Think corn and pigs. Lots and lots of corn and pigs.
Posts: 8,030
Location: Think corn and pigs. Lots and lots of corn and pigs.
Sportbike: A Big Blue One, a threesome of Sexy Red Ones - and a Happy Yellow One!
Years Riding: Quarter century.
How you found us: I was looking for Jimmy Choo's in my shoe closet.
           
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Thanks... I needed that!!!

Kim
CCS AM #815 - the cute, fuzzy, yellow, spoiled-rotten half of Team Duc Tape!
I break stuff
Duck, duck, duck, GUZ!
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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 11-18-2002, 08:39 AM
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 899
 


Thanks after the weekend I had I needed that!!
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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 11-18-2002, 12:02 PM
Who's faster Lupi
 
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Lake in the Hills, IL
Posts: 4,957
Location: Lake in the Hills, IL
Sportbike: 2004 ZX10R & 2005 CRF50
Years Riding: 20
How you found us: SBN
           
couple good ones there Jim.

NESBA #456 Intermediate
Always 1 step ahead of Lupi. 1:24:7 BHF
And 1 step behind Kimmy

"SoB gets to spend yet ANOTHER season faster than me." -LUPI-
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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 11-18-2002, 09:59 PM
CLSB RESIDENT REDNECK!!!!
 
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Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Belvidere, Il
Posts: 1,331
Location: Belvidere, Il
Sportbike: Used to have a 2001 Honda CBR 600 F4i Red/Black
Years Riding: 9 Years on n off
How you found us: SBN
           







Mark

Mark

2001 F4i Red/Black ( She Gone )
2003 GMC Sierra Z71 Pewter
Quote:
Originally Posted by whiteSeatEnvy View Post
lol It's even typed in redneck!

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