McDonnell-Douglas Humor - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 11-26-2002, 02:14 PM Thread Starter
Evil Moderatrix
 
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McDonnell-Douglas Humor

MCDONNELL DOUGLAS WARRANTY CARD
The following was a page put on the McDonnell Douglas (US military company) Internet home-page by a worker with a sense of humor. The company took exception to it however...


AIRCRAFT-SPACE SYSTEMS-MISSILES
Important! Important! Please fill out and mail this card within 10 days of purchase.
Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.
1. _Mr. _Mrs. _Ms. _Miss _Lt. _Gen. _Comrade _Classified
_Other
First Name
Initial
Last Name
Password, Code Name, Etc.
Latitude Longitude Altitude

2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
_F-14 Tomcat
_F-15 Eagle
_F-16 Falcon
_F-117A Stealth
_Classified

3. Date of purchase: Month: Day: Year:

4. Serial Number:

5. Please check where this product was purchased:
_Received as Gift/Aid Package
_Catalog Showroom
_Sleazy Arms Broker
_Mail Order
_Discount Store
_Government Surplus
_Classified

6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas
product you have just purchased:
_Heard loud noise, looked up
_Store Display
_Espionage
_Recommended by friend/relative/ally
_Political lobbying by Manufacturer
_Was attacked by one

7. Please check the three (3) factors which most influenced your decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
_Style/Appearance
_Kickback/Bribe
_Recommended by salesperson
_Speed/Maneuverability
_Comfort/Convenience
_McDonnell Douglas Reputation
_Advanced Weapons Systems
_Price/Value
_Back-Room Politics
_Negative experience opposing one in combat

8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:
_North America
_Central/South America
_Aircraft Carrier
_Europe
_Middle East
_Africa
_Asia/Far East
_Misc. Third-World Countries
_Classified
_My neighbor

9. Please check the products that you currently own, or intend to purchase in the near future:
Product Own Intend to purchase
Color TV
VCR
ICBM Killer Satellite
CD Player
Air-to-Air Missiles
Space Shuttle
Home Computer
Nuclear Weapon

10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? Check all that apply:
_Communist/Socialist
_Terrorist
_Crazed (Islamic)
_Crazed (Other)
_Neutral
_Democratic
_Dictatorship
_Corrupt (Latin American)
_Corrupt (Other)
_Primitive/Tribal

11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
_Cash
_Suitcases of Cocaine
_Oil Revenues
_Deficit Spending
_Personal Check
_Credit Card
_Ransom Money
_Travelerís Check

12. Occupation You Your Spouse
Homemaker
Sales/Marketing
Revolutionary
Clerical
Mercenary
Tyrant
Middle Management
Eccentric Billionaire
Defense Minister/General
Retired
Student

13. To help us understand our Customersí lifestyles, please indicate the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis:
Activity/Interest You Your Spouse
Golf
Boating/Sailing
Sabotage
Running/Jogging
Propaganda/Disinformation
Destabilizing/Overthrow
Default on Loans
Gardening
Crafts
Black Market/Smuggling
Collectibles/Collections
Watching Sports on TV
Wines
Interrogation/Torture
Household Pets
Crushing Rebellions
Espionage/Reconnaissance
Fashion
Clothing
Border Disputes
Mutually Assured Destruction

Thanks for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia.
Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:
McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION
Marketing Department
Military Aerospace Division
P.O. Box 800 St. Louis

Kim
CCS AM #815 - the cute, fuzzy, yellow, spoiled-rotten half of Team Duc Tape!
I break stuff
Duck, duck, duck, GUZ!
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 11-26-2002, 02:41 PM
Old Squid on a Blade
 
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Funny, I've got friends/business partners that are x-Northrop ees. I just sent it to them.

Thanks,

Bruce

There is nothing firm, nothing balanced, nothing durable in all the universe. Nothing remains in its original state, each day, each hour, each moment, there is change. Change is the essence of life. Embrace change as you do life. To fight change is to live in the past.
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 11-26-2002, 03:27 PM
Who's faster Lupi
 
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Location: Lake in the Hills, IL
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Sportbike: 2004 ZX10R & 2005 CRF50
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Re: McDonnell-Douglas Humor

Quote:
Originally posted by KBOlsen
The company took exception to it however...
Cant see why.

NESBA #456 Intermediate
Always 1 step ahead of Lupi. 1:24:7 BHF
And 1 step behind Kimmy

"SoB gets to spend yet ANOTHER season faster than me." -LUPI-
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 11-26-2002, 06:01 PM
 
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Had a good laugh. Some of it is soo true too.

cherrypicker is offline  
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