Originally Posted by PeaceDuke
Loki. Yes, they have this right. This is related to Freedom of Information Act. If you have nothing better to do, you can do backgroud searches on anyone you want -- convictions are a matter of public record and must be released on request. You must get your conviction expunged..
Well no biggie. Not as if they'll find out I'm a porn star through a background check.
Ok, your joke is and stop me if ya heard this one:
Back in the day when the Union was still forming in North America there lived a man in Texas. Proud Texan and proud everything in Texas is big. This man learns that Alaska is purchased so the man thinking that Alaska is bigger picks up everything he owns and moves to Alaska.
Once he's settled he goes to a local Saloon. Opens the door and yells, "I'm from Texas! In Texas everything is big! Now that I'm in Alaska I want to know what it takes to become an Alaskan!"
A man in a corner waves him over. He goes and the stranger says, "This is what it takes to become an Alaskan. See that barrel of beer over there? You have to drink all of that beer in one sitting. Then you have to go out and kill a polar bear. After that, you must have sex with an Eskimo. When all that is done, you'll be an Alaskan."
The Texan smirks and says loudly, "That's easy!"
So he walks over to the barrel and drinks all the beer in one sitting. Burps, stands wobbly and then staggers, obviously drunk out the saloon and into the cold night.
A few hours later he comes back. His face bloody and scratched and clothes ripped to shreds in various locations. He's a total mess.
He sees the stranger and limps over to him, breath still smelling of beer and says, "Ok, now where's that Eskimo girl you want me to kill!"