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post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 03-10-2006, 11:28 AM Thread Starter
Listen to Motley Crue
 
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Join Date: Apr 2005
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***important***

Today is Chuck Norris' birthday (March 10, 1940). That is all

BTW: Did you know Chuck Norris uses a nite-light not because he's scared of the dark but because the dark is scared of Chuck Norris
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post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 03-10-2006, 11:30 AM
Model citizen
 
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bah!

Chuck Norris's parents had a surprise bday party for Chuck once, only once

https://www.chicagolandsportbikes.com...&highlight=HBD

Eric
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post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 03-10-2006, 11:34 AM
I like Goths
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
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Did you know Chuck Norris hates people who continue week old jokes
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post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 03-10-2006, 11:41 AM
King Nothing


 
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Some chuck norris facts out of stuff magazine this month:

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72...and theyre all poisonous.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity-twice.

Chuck Norris has two speeds:walk and kill.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris does not tea bag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

Chuck Norris challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by five.


"When in doubt, use full throttle. It may not improve your situation, but it will end the suspense."
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post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 03-10-2006, 11:54 AM
 
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They were going to send chuck norris to Iraq. But found out he is more destructive then a nuke.
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post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 03-10-2006, 12:00 PM
 
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http://www.pointsincase.com/anti_chuck_facts.htm


God I hate Chuck Norris!

Top 10 Anti-Chuck Norris Facts

1. Chuck Norris' semen cures cancer. Too bad he has AIDS.

2. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He lies awake in regret.

3. Chuck Norris is currently suing ABC, claiming Hope & Faith are trademarked names for his left and right breasts.

4. The chief export of Chuck Norris is diarrhea.

5. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may not realize how much he's actually aged.

6. Chuck Norris attempted to count to infinity. Backwards. He didn't know where to start.

7. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the chance of success. Chuck Norris wanders around aimlessly with a gun.

8. Chuck Norris' blood type is AK-47. The gun. It is compatible only with bullets. Chuck Norris is full of holes.

9. Chuck Norris is 1/8th Grand Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man drives a fucking Jeep.

10. In fine print on the last page of the Farmers' Almanac it notes that annual rainfall figures do not include the tears shed by Chuck Norris, and the figures listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has gotten to subtracting out such overwhelming excess.
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post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 03-10-2006, 12:43 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2005
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Here is Chuck Norris on the "Best Damn Sports Show" reading off the top 10 Chuck Norris Facts.

http://www.piclibs.com/videos.php?id=114
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