If College-Themed Porn Were Real - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 06-14-2006, 09:11 AM Thread Starter
You got the talkin' done
 
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If College-Themed Porn Were Real

Situation One: The Naughty Student
Cindi, an attractive student with a large rack, walks up to the desk of her professor.

Porn:
Cindi: Is there anything I can do to raise this grade?
Professor: Some students do extra credit work.
Cindi: (has sex with him)

Reality:
Cindi: Is there anything I can do to raise this grade?
Professor: Some students do extra credit work.
Cindi: Like what?
Professor: A seven- to ten-page report about the economic principles behind trade rules in a Micronesian country of your choosing.
Cindi: Oh. That makes sense and is an appropriate extra credit assignment for the course.


Situation Two: The Hot Teacher
Paul, a student in his late twenties, walks up to the desk of his teacher, Professor Mandy, who has enormous breasts.

Porn:
Paul: You wanted to see me after class, professor?
Professor Mandy: Yes. I need to test your performance.
Paul: How?
Professor Mandy: (fellates Paul)

Reality:
Paul: You wanted to see me after class, professor?
Professor Mandy: Yes. I need to test your performance.
Paul: How?
Professor Mandy: A series of tests based on the material covered in this course.
Paul: Could I just have sex with you instead?
Professor Mandy: (sues Paul)


Situation Three: The Sorority
Between two and a half-dozen attractive coeds sit on a large bed, in nighties which barely contain their ample bosoms.

Porn:
Head Sorority Girl: Let's have a naked pillowfight!
Assistant Head Sorority Girl: And practice kissing!
Sorority Girls: (do those things)

Reality:
I kind of assume this is what actually happens in sororities.


Situation Four: The Curious Freshman
A very attractive freshman girl named Candi sits on a bed with her boyfriend, Brett. Did I mention that Candi has boobs the size of overripe grapefruit? She does.

Porn:
Brett: Let's try anal sex.
Candi: Okay.

Reality:
Brett: Let's try anal sex.
Candi: No.


Situation Five: The Janitor
A strangely-muscular janitor knocks on the door of Bambi, a girl whose low-cut shirt reveals a veritable explosion of cleavage.

Porn:
Janitor: Do those pipes need cleaning?
Bambi: (apparently this is all the pillow talk she needs to have all kinds of sex with him)

Reality:
Janitor: Perhaps I should have stayed in school.
Bambi: I can see how you could be disappointed with your station in life.

If you ain't with us, then it's just bad news.
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post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 06-14-2006, 09:13 AM
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hahahahaha, great post.


Quote:
Paul: You wanted to see me after class, professor?
Professor Mandy: Yes. I need to test your performance.
Paul: How?
Professor Mandy: A series of tests based on the material covered in this course.
Paul: Could I just have sex with you instead?
Professor Mandy: (sues Paul)

Chris
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post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 06-14-2006, 09:16 AM
AKA..... Dan
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jrock
Porn:
Brett: Let's try anal sex.
Candi: Okay.

Reality:
Brett: Let's try anal sex.
Candi: No.
Very nice.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Silentalero View Post
First rule of DT Krew is never talk about DT Krew
NESBA #79
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post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 06-14-2006, 09:44 AM
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all of my believes came crushing down right now....
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post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 06-14-2006, 10:29 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jrock


Situation Three: The Sorority
Between two and a half-dozen attractive coeds sit on a large bed, in nighties which barely contain their ample bosoms.

Porn:
Head Sorority Girl: Let's have a naked pillowfight!
Assistant Head Sorority Girl: And practice kissing!
Sorority Girls: (do those things)

Reality:
I kind of assume this is what actually happens in sororities.

+1




HDTony.... Damn glad to meet you!

Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.

- Ronald Reagan

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post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 06-14-2006, 10:51 AM
Special Agent Lance Boyle
 
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Rep added!

<--------Sticky Nicky
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post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 06-14-2006, 11:20 AM
U-P-G-R-A-Y-E-D-D
 
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ahaha, awesome
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post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 06-14-2006, 01:48 PM
 
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There are girls in College?
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post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 06-14-2006, 02:56 PM
Registered lunatic
 
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I think I have that video.

PJ
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