mens "rules" - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 11-14-2006, 05:22 PM Thread Starter

 
df4iguy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: wheaton il
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Location: wheaton il
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mens "rules"

Just got this in an email and man does it hit everything right on the head





Finally , the guys' side of the story.
We always hear
" the rules "
From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the
Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing is wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can -
to give them a bigger laugh
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 11-14-2006, 06:17 PM
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Beautiful. Thats getting forwarded.
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 11-14-2006, 06:19 PM
The Victim Newbie
 
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Location: Westchester, IL
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i think this is a repost, but screw it its still funny

and yes the GF has been sent a copy

<-- Chris

turn the bars left and go right; that just isn't right
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 11-14-2006, 06:47 PM
SV650N
 
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Over by Toyota Park
Posts: 3,117
Location: Over by Toyota Park
Sportbike: 2005 SV650SN
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Yes, welcome to last year...

https://www.chicagolandsportbikes.com...ad.php?t=33727

Still, this should be a sticky, I think.
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